


An Eternity of Black

by Crayonlighting



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Enemies to Lovers, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Weird Biology, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 67,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24580711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crayonlighting/pseuds/Crayonlighting
Summary: In a universe where the Ministry of Magic controls more about you, than you control about yourself. The Ministry of Magic assigns you a spouse and you're stuck with them whether you like it or not.Sirius Black openly hated Severus Snape and was not shy about the fact that he loved his best friend. When Sirius Black is presented with a marriage summons he cannot ignore, he finds out the true definition of sleeping with the enemy.“can seven years of good memories make up for the seven years of bad ones?” “We didn’t get married because we wanted to,” Snape says, “We got married because we had to,” Snape says. “You can have your boy apologize to my son,” Snape says firmly. Sirius watches Snape for a moment, trying not to grin, as he figures out what Snape was really saying, “Tell me,” Sirius says, sitting down on Snape’s lap. “I know,” Snape says looking back at Sirius, “but your side is outnumbered.” Leaving the thin wizard on the ground unmasked, bleeding. “I would die for our child, if it came down to it,” Snape says firmly. There was no way in hell that Sirius had just admitted to giving him a love potion.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 426
Kudos: 291





	1. Public Informational Decree No.17

**Author's Note:**

> This is a finished work, all parts to this story have been written, and a new chapter will be posted every Friday until the last chapter, 13, has been posted. Check back every Friday for the newest chapter of this fic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sirius Black receives a marriage summons, the last person on earth he expected to be assigned his spouse, just so happens to be the person he's openly spent the last seven years of his life torturing in various ways. Unfortunately for Severus Snape, that means he now has to find a way to make peace with his mortal enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to let you all know to check the tags before you jump into this story, if you're okay with any of the above-mentioned tags please proceed!  
> This is a bit of a nontraditional from enemies to friends to lovers trope, as you'll find out while reading. Now I will say that I don't condone the abuse and violence depicted in the books which makes this a little harder to write, but I do my best to address and have the characters work through their differences throughout the story.

_Dear Mr. Black,_

_As per Public Informational Decree No.17, your wedding has been arranged by the Ministry of Magic, and you are to report to the Public Information Services Office on the 3 rd of June 1978 to receive your spouse and legally binding marriage ceremony._

_Best Wishes,_

_Bridgette Belle_

_Public Information Services Office, Ministry of Magic_

Sirius sighs deeply, he hadn’t thought he would receive it so soon, hell he hadn’t actually thought he’d ever receive one of these, and he at least thought they would wait until he graduated school before giving him a marriage summons. He would be going down to London to be assigned a spouse and then returning to Hogwarts to graduate. At least their N.E.W.T.s were out of the way and that was one less thing Sirius had to think about.

“What’s that?” James asks before shoveling a spoonful of potato into his mouth.

“Nothing,” Sirius says, closing the letter quickly.

Peter reaches across the table plucking it from Sirius’s hands.

“Oh, fuck off Peter!” Sirius says, “Give that back,” he says reaching for Peter’s neck.

Peter grins slipping under the table, popping up on James’s other side, as he opens the letter.

James reaches over, taking the letter from Peter, opening it on the table. James got as far as Public informational decree No.17 before Sirius snatched the letter up off the table, and he pushes Peter face down into a bowl of Adriana Perkins’s cereal, causing Adriana to scream and push her way up from the table.

“Fucking idiot!” she swears at Sirius, as she brushes milk and cereal pieces off of herself.

“Easy there Padfoot,” James mumbles, “you’ll drown him if you’re not careful.”

“Slimy git deserves it,” Sirius mutters, keeping Peter held down in the bowl of cereal against the very visible protests he was making trying to escape Sirius’s grasp.

“That’s enough Pads,” Remus says looking up at Sirius, “Let him go,” he says, “Now.”

When Sirius ignores Remus, Remus pulls out his wand pointing it at Sirius’s hand, causing the older wizard to swear.

“Fuck Moony,” Sirius says looking down at his hand as Peter quickly lifts his head being freed from the cereal bowl, beginning to gasp for air.

“I said to stop it, Sirius,” Remus says, putting his wand back in his robe pocket.

“Put my hand right Moony,” Sirius says, looking down at his fingers which were now wobbling from the jelly-fingers curse.

“Sit down first,” Remus says, “Next to me, so I know you won’t try to drown Peter again.”

Sirius rolls his eyes but sits down beside Remus anyways.

“Now, since I’m the only one who respects privacy around here,” Remus says, taking out his wand to perform the counter curse, “Tell me who the letter’s from.”

Sirius sighs, “It’s an official Ministry notice,” he says wiggling his fingers just to make sure he had the feeling in them back. “I’m getting married this weekend.”

Remus looks up at Sirius, “Seriously?” he asks.

Sirius nods, “I must be one of the first, I haven’t heard of anyone else getting one yet,” he says.

“I wonder who the lucky witch will be,” James says finishing his toast.

“Who cares,” Sirius says crossing his arms over his chest.

“You should know Sirius wants to marry a wizard by now James,” Peter says before he can stop himself.

Sirius glares across the table, “You motherf-“ he says reaching across the table managing to grab a fist full of Peter’s hair, as he attempts to get up and run.

“Sirius stop,” Remus says grabbing onto his wrist, forcing Sirius to release Peter’s hair, “Honestly Peter, keep your fucking mouth shut,” Remus sighs.

“Yeah Pete, you’re bringing this upon yourself mate,” James says looking over at Peter.

“I was teasing,” Peter says turning his eyes down.

“Yeah, well I don’t find being outed at breakfast particularly funny Peter,” Sirius says.

Sirius wasn’t exactly in the closet, but he wasn’t out of the closet either. If someone asked, he’d usually tell the truth and say he wasn’t interested in women, but that he was attracted to men. Sirius didn’t want people, especially people who were supposed to be his friends, going around making jokes about his sexuality, and outing him without his permission.

“I did read last month that the Ministry did assign a same-sex couple to the wedding registry,” James says, “so who knows, you might end up with another bloke.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Yeah, those cases are rare,” he says, “especially since their whole thing is to make babies,” Sirius says with a visible shudder.

“Is it the babies that freak you out, or the women Pads?” Remus says playfully.

“Both,” Sirius says decidedly.

Remus smiles, “Can you imagine Sirius as a dad James?”

James smiles, “Actually, I can,” he says, “we’d definitely have trouble on our hands.”

“Now I wish they pair me with some bloke, just so I don’t have to have kids,” Sirius says.

“Well my dad was telling me that there are special circumstances around same-sex marriages assigned by the Ministry, but that they have been working on ways to make sure they can also have children, regardless of gender,” Remus says looking over at James.

“Seriously?” James says, “Like Charms?”

“I think it’s like charms and potions and other magic stuff,” Remus says, “I didn’t ask him for specifics.”

“Yeah, when you don’t have a preference for one or the other it makes it easier to accept the outcome of either, eh Moony,” Peter says.

Remus frowns, “What the hell Peter,” he says.

“What?” Peter says, “It was a joke,” he says.

“Outing someone isn’t actually funny Peter,” Remus says.

“Oh, come on, I’m teasing,” Peter says quickly, “Come on guys!”

“It’s not funny Wormtail,” Sirius says reaching for his wand pointing it at Peter, “Silencio.”

Remus smiles, “What a great idea Pads, now he won’t be outing anyone,” he grins.

Sirius smiles, “I’m more than just a pretty face, Rem.”

James fake gags from across the table, “Are you two going to make out already?”

Sirius smirks, “I’ve got some spare time,” he grins.

Remus smiles laughing lightly, “Come on, Pads,” he says, getting up from the table, pulling Sirius up with him.

Sirius grins, looking back at James as he follows Remus out of the great hall.

Saturday morning, 10:35 am Sirius Black is sitting in the Ministry of Magic, Public Information Services Office, turning the page in this week’s, Witch Weekly as he waits to be called forward, to find out who his spouse will be.

“Sirius Black,” a young, red-haired witch calls from behind the counter.

Sirius sighs, getting up walking up to the counter, “That’s me,” he says.

“My name is Sabine,” she says softly, “Right this way please, I have a few questions for you before we assign you your spouse,” She says getting up, walking Sirius into a back room.

Sirius follows her reluctantly and has a seat when she indicates for him to take an empty seat.

“Your full name please,” Sabine says reading from a piece of parchment.

“Sirius Black, the third,” He answers.

“Date of birth,” she continues, as she writes down the responses.

“November third, 1959,” he answers.

“Blood Status,” she says.

“Pure,” he says.

“Sexual Preference?” Sabine asks next.

“What?” Sirius asks confused.

“Sexual preference?” she says again, “Do you not have a preference?”

“No,” he says.

“No preference,” she says marking the box.

“No, I mean, I do have a preference,” Sirius says, surprised this was even a question.

“What is your preference, Mister Black?” Sabine asks.

Sirius swallows before he says, “Men, I like men.”

“Homosexual,” she murmurs, checking the box on the parchment, “right then,” she says getting up, “just a moment, we’ll bring your spouse in just a moment, and the marriage ceremony will commence.”

“Who will my spouse be?” Sirius asks impatiently.

“Just a moment Mister Black, we’re matching you based on the information you provided to us here, and the information we already had on you, please be patient, it will only take a few minutes.”

Sirius sighs leaning back in his chair, crossing his legs, as he waits impatiently.

“Right this way Sir,” Sirius looks up confused, had he really been matched with another male? Did the Ministry really take into account what he wanted? And did this mean they were working on ways to create children regardless of gender?

“Mister Black, up here please,” Sabine says reentering the room, “Your spouse,” she murmurs, walking up to what looked like a white stone Pensieve.

Sirius gets up, walking up to the front of the room, trying to get a better look at the person he was about to marry.

“Snape?” Sirius scoffs.

Severus Snape lifts his eyes for the first time since entering the room, “Black?” he says just as shocked.

“What the fuck is this?” Sirius says turning to look at Sabine.

Sabine sighs heavily, “Mr. Black, Mr. Snape, meet your spouse,” she says, “say hello, so we may proceed with the ceremony, it’ll only take a moment.”

“No way in hell am I marrying that outright git,” Sirius spits out.

“I wouldn’t marry an arrogant prick like you if you were the last being on earth,” Snape scowls.

“Gentlemen,” Sabine says, “I need you both here beside me now.”

“Didn’t you just hear me, I’m not marrying him,” Sirius says, “Never.”

“You don’t have a choice,” Sabine says, “It’s the law, now-“

“I’ll take prison, thank you,” Sirius says quickly.

Sabine sighs, “failure to comply means the kiss Mr. Black,” she says, “Gentlemen, please,” Sabine insists, “you were matched magically based on several criteria, it’s not just pulling numbers out of a hat,” she says.

“I won’t,” Sirius says again crossing his arms firmly over his chest.

Sabine sighs, looking down at her watch, “Fine,” she says, “I’ll be back in ten minutes, and I’ll be bringing two Aurors with me,” she says, “I suggest you two take that time to work out whatever issues you have,” she says stepping away from the stone ceremonial bowl, “Please don’t make me bring the dementors, I really hate the way they make me feel,” she sighs exiting the room, shutting the door behind her.

Sirius presses his back against the wall, pulling his knees close to his body as he sits down on the floor.

“You’re being an even bigger idiot than usual,” Snape says taking a seat in one of the empty seats, crossing his legs.

Sirius watches the pale skin of Snape’s ankles, as his robes ride up slightly from the movement of him crossing his legs.

“I’m not marrying you, Snape,” Sirius says.

“Well I don’t want to marry you either, but we don’t really have a choice do we,” Snape mutters.

“How are you okay with this?” Sirius asks, “You hate me, I hate you.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t die for you,” Snape says, “And those are the choices here, marriage or death,” he says.

“It’s the same as death,” Sirius says, “being married to you, might as well be dead.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “Fucking twat,” he says.

“You can’t be serious right now!” Sirius says frustratedly.

Snape sighs, running his hand through his hair frustratedly, “fine,” he mutters.

“I hate you,” Sirius says.

“I’m well aware,” Snape mutters, “fine, we’ll just tell her we’re not doing it, and let the dementors have us then.”

“You can’t be serious,” Sirius says again.

Snape rolls his eyes, “Magic can’t create love, and it can’t make us get along,” he says, “You don’t want to do this, and I don’t want to do this either, so let’s just get this over with then.”

Sirius looks up at Snape, who was staring across the room, and Sirius couldn’t make out a single emotion on his face.

“I don’t want to die, at seventeen,” Sirius says after a moment.

“Well the law is very clear, so we don’t have a choice if we’re not going through with this,” Snape murmurs.

“And you would just let that happen?” Sirius asks.

“Yes, there isn’t much else to be said in the matter,” Snape says.

Sirius sighs and says nothing, watching Snape for any sign of emotions until Sabine returns four minutes later, with two Aurors.

“Gentlemen, are we ready to do our civil duties now?” She asks walking back to the Ceremonial stone.

Sirius sighs pushing himself up from the floor, “Let’s get this over with Snape,” he mutters, walking over to stand beside Sabine.

Snape watches Sirius for nearly another full minute of silence before he gets up walking over to the ceremony place.

“Brilliant,” Sabine says, tapping the stone with her wand, two stones emerge from the basin, hovering on either side of the basin, “Take hold of the other’s left hand, please, making sure to keep the two stones between the two of you,” Sabine instructs.

Sirius shudders at the thought of having to touch Snape in any way, but reaches across the basin, taking hold of his hand at the same time Snape takes hold of Sirius’s hand.

Sabine waves her wand and the two stones, float over their hands, swapping places, bringing with them a string of white light, which Sirius can feel burning against his skin.

“I, Sabine Broadman, herby magically bind these two individuals,” She begins, looking over at Sirius, “State your name please.”

Sirius sighs, “Sirius Black,” he says mournfully.

“and,” Sabine says turning to Snape.

“Severus Snape,” Snape says equally as solemnly.

“Into a magically binding marriage,” she says waving her wand, watching the two stones intertwine their lengths of white light again wrapping around both of their wrists for a second time, “This marriage shall stay in place until one or both individuals perish,” she continues, waving her wand again, allowing the stones to settle into place over their two hands, “Gentlemen, do you agree to this legally binding union?”

Sirius looks at his hand, holding onto Snape’s hand, wrapped in the purest of magical white light, and it is his last chance to change his mind. His last chance to back out.

Sirius swallows thickly, “I do,” he mutters, and the stone tip touches the back of his hand, and glows a golden color, that starts to wrap around the white light string between the two of them, moving around the curves and knots it’s made, down the light stopping halfway between the two of them.

Snape sighs heavily, “I do,” he says, watching as the second stone descends to meet the back of his hand, and the golden light begins to travel to meet Sirius’s.

The golden light between them begins to feel ice cold against their skin and begins to disintegrate between the two of them.

“I now pronounce you, Husband and Husband,” Sabine says tapping her wand against the basin one last time.

Sirius exhales deeply, glad for that to be over. Snape looks down at his hand, watching as a golden light circles his ring finger, followed by a bright white light, before fading away a moment later, only to be replaced by a wedding band.

“It’s official now gentlemen,” Sabine says, “Your ministry thanks you, have a good day.”

“So even the bonding rings are real,” Sirius mutters to himself, as he steps into the lift with Snape behind him.

“I’m still not sure how they work,” Snape murmurs.

“Me either,” Sirius says with a sigh, as the lift comes to a stop, “Come on,” he says, “I can’t go back to school right now,” he says, “let’s go back to mine.”

“Your what?” Snape asks.

“My flat,” Sirius says rolling his eyes, “I can’t face school right now, we’ll go back tomorrow.”

Snape sighs, following Sirius through the Atrium fireplaces. Spinning quickly as the Floo transports them through the network. Snape coughs and stumbles out of the fireplace, behind Sirius who tugged him out after him.

“The hell Sirius,” Snape glares.

Sirius shrugs, “I didn’t want you to miss it,” he says, “I never told you where it was.”

“Next time just tell me where it is,” Snape says, straightening himself up.

“Yeah whatever,” Sirius mutters, walking over to the sofa.

Snape looks around for a moment, taking in the surroundings. It was small, but it was fairly nice. Snape saw a small kitchen, a tiny table set for two. Sirius was sitting on the only sofa, but there were two armchairs and a bookshelf.

“Have a look then,” Sirius says looking up to see Snape looking around, there was a hallway on both sides of the living room.

Snape looks over at Sirius for a moment, before allowing himself to walk around the flat. He could see there was a balcony, and he wondered if he could see himself having a drink sitting out there. Snape walks down a hallway on the left and is met with a decent sized bedroom, attached to a bathroom. There was a very nice-looking bathtub, Snape assumed Sirius used magic to get that in here. It looked out of place next to the smaller shower, and single sink.

“The second bedroom is sort of a mess right now,” Sirius says walking up behind Snape a moment later, holding out a glass of fire whiskey, “But it’s pretty much the same as this one.”

Snape takes the glass, looking over at Sirius.

“How-“

“Inheritance,” Sirius says.

Snape should have guessed that, he nods and drinks the entire glass of whiskey, handing it back to Sirius.

“You drink like a fucking star,” Sirius mutters, taking back the empty glass.

“Did you do that?” Snape asks, gesturing to the bathtub.

Sirius nods, “First spell I did when I turned seventeen,” he says, “It’s not right though, but I was too proud to change it, and it works,” he shrugs, “I like baths.”

“That’s a lot of information,” Snape mutters, walking into the bedroom, standing in front of the window, looking outside, “Where are we?” he asks, looking out at the water in the distance.

“London,” Sirius answers.

“London Proper?” Snape asks.

“What’s it matter?” Sirius asks.

“Fine,” Snape mutters, stepping away from the window.

“Greenwich,” Sirius says a moment later.

“Do our kind live here?” Snape asks.

“In this building, yes,” Sirius says, “muggles live in the surrounding buildings though,” he says.

“When did you move in here?” Snape asks.

“What’s with all the questions?” Sirius snaps a minute later.

“Fine,” Snape scowls, “We’ll just sit in silence then,” Snape doesn’t say anything else but sits on the edge of the bed.

Sirius scoffs and laughs, “If mum could see me now, married to a proud Slytherin, she’d be so proud.”

“Seriously?” Snape frowns.

“No,” Sirius says, “you’re still a bloke after all,” he says, “my being gay was just the last straw, one of many reasons I was kicked out,” Sirius says, “but you being a Slytherin would have been a welcome surprise.”

Snape looks around, sighing softly.

Snape is quiet for a moment, before reaching into his robe pocket, unfolding a piece of parchment.

“What’s that?” Sirius asks resisting the urge to take the paper from Snape, which he would have done on any other occasion.

“Information on how the rings work,” Snape mutters, “I haven’t seen this kind of magic before.”

Sirius looks down at his ring, he had no idea how the rings worked, he knew they were supposed to promote bonding or something, but he didn’t really know how the magic in them worked either. And he really didn’t see how any kind of magic could make him actually like being around Snape. Sirius was getting antsy just looking at him for too long.

“Well, what’s it say then?” Sirius asks impatiently.

Snape lifts his eyes looking up at Sirius, glaring back at him before looking back at the parchment.

Sirius rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall as he waits for Snape to tell him what it says.

“There’s some kind of magic in the bands, they have to be worn at night, when we sleep together,” Snape murmurs.

“We are not sleeping together!” Sirius says loudly.

Snape scoffs, “I said sleep, I didn’t say anything about,” Snape stops himself, a visible shudder running down his spine, “Don’t make me sick,” he says, swallowing thickly.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Sirius says glaring at Snape, “You’d be lucky if I were to have sex with you,” he says.

“Just because you think you’re so good looking, doesn’t mean you do it for everyone,” Snape says narrowing his eyes at Sirius.

“Yeah, well, I’ve done it with more people than you have, so I’m clearly doing it for the majority,” he smirks, making a point to flip his hair out of his eyes.

“You make me sick,” Snape murmurs, before getting up from the bed, stepping over Sirius as he leaves the room.

Sirius says nothing and watches Snape walk down the hall, back to the living room. Sirius gets up, walking over to the bed, picking up the parchment, beginning to read.

After a long while, Sirius gets up, walking into the living room, seeing Snape curled up in the corner of the sofa. Sirius walks over to the sofa, Snape had his knees pulled into his chest, and his hair covering his face, more than it usually did. When Snape looks up, Sirius can see his eyes are completely bloodshot and swollen. Snape was crying.

“What do you want?” Snape spits, quickly wiping his cheeks dry with the sleeve of his robes.

Sirius didn’t know what to say, he didn’t realize Snape was capable of such emotions. Snape always became angry with him whenever he would tease him. Sirius watches Snape for another moment before he sees the anger he is so used to seeing from Snape, begin to surface.

“Fuck off Sirius,” Snape snaps, pushing himself up off the sofa.

Sirius reaches out, grabbing onto Snape’s arm, keeping him from leaving.

“Don’t touch me,” Snape says pushing Sirius back.

“Hey!” Sirius scoffs, stumbling backward.

“I said fuck off,” Snape says again.

“Look,” Sirius says turning back to Snape, “I don’t want to do this anymore than you do,” he says.

“What the fuck do you want Sirius?” Snape sighs.

“Why were you just crying?” Sirius asks before he could think better of it.

Snape is quiet for a full minute before he turns away, “I’m not doing this,” he says, “And I’m definitely not doing this with you.”

“Snape,” Sirius scoffs, “I’m trying to talk to you.”

Snape doesn’t respond, as he walks off toward the bedroom.

“Severus!”

Never in his entire life had Sirius Black called him by his name. Snape stops walking and turns to look at Sirius pondering him. Snape couldn’t tell by looking at him what Sirius was up to, and it was unnerving to him. There was only exactly one-way Snape was going to find out what the hell Sirius was playing at right now. And Snape did not want to engage in this at all.

“Fine,” Snape says watching Sirius, “Let’s talk then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for taking the time to read this! I do hope you enjoyed the story! if you have then Chapter 2 will be released next Friday, and I hope you have a fantastic week! Thank you so much again for reading this fic and I hope you continue to enjoy it! <3


	2. A draft of sleepless dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because you get married doesn't mean you're instantly a different person. Something both Snape and Sirius are fidning out.

In the morning Snape wakes up and is very aware of the fact that he was being touched. _Why_ he was being touched was a mystery to him. Snape sighs turning over on the bed and immediately gasps in shock.

“Get off me, you mutt!” Snape hisses, pushing Sirius away from him, “The fuck is wrong with you,” he snaps, not caring that he was waking up Sirius, who had very clearly been asleep until just now.

“What the fuck!” Sirius groans, pushing himself up onto the bed.

“Why are you touching me with that thing,” Snape hisses, moving to the opposite side of the bed, pulling his legs up against his chest.

Sirius sighs sleepily, looking down as he lets out a long yawn, “It was a good dream,” he murmurs laying back on his back.

“Well keep it away from me,” Snape says.

“Oh, come on, you can’t tell me, you don’t have one,” Sirius says, referring to his morning erection, “every morning like clockwork, I can’t help it.”

“No,” Snape says, “I don’t have that problem.”

Sirius shrugs, and yawns again, “maybe because you’re still a virgin,” he says.

“Oh, fuck off,” Snape snaps getting up from the bed, pulling the sheets off the bed with him.

“Snape,” Sirius groans sleepily, “Come back,” he calls, “Those are my only pair of sheets,” Sirius calls after him, “It’s cold in here!”

“Then put some damn clothes on!”

Nearly twenty minutes later Sirius crawls out of bed, making his way into the living room, where he saw Snape curled up in the corner of the sofa, with the sheets from the bed wrapped around him.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks, walking over to the sofa.

Snape shrugs, “What do you want?”

Sirius shrugs, “Do you want to eat something?”

“Not really,” Snape mutters pulling the sheets tighter around himself.

“I’m starving,” Sirius says, walking into the kitchen, “Do you want pancakes?”

“I don’t like pancakes,” Snape grimaces.

Sirius turns around looking at Snape in disgust, “How do you not like pancakes?”

Snape sighs, “I don’t like them.”

“Well maybe you’d be happier if you ate more pancakes,” Sirius says.

“I’m not eating pancakes,” Snape says.

“If I make pancakes you will,” Sirius says.

“You can’t force me to do anything,” Snape says glaring at Sirius.

“Well, I’m having pancakes,” Sirius says.

“Do whatever you want, no one is telling you what to do,” Snape says, “I just want to go back to school.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “What for?” he asks, “As soon as graduation comes around, we’re going to end up back here unless you have somewhere else to go,” Sirius says, making breakfast with magic.

Snape did not want to think about the fact that this was his home now. He did not want to think about the fact that he was seventeen and married now. He did not want to think about his only escape being over. He did not want to do this. He did not want to be married to Sirius Black. He did not want to live with Sirius Black. He did not want any of this. The more he sat here, aware of what was going to happen over the next few weeks the more Snape began to wish he allowed the dementors to take him. The more Snape thought his mind was going to implode. The more he wanted to let everything inside him burst out. But he was Severus Snape, and no matter what situation he was in, he would never allow himself to burst with any kind of emotion. He was better than ill controlled outbursts.

“Are you okay?” Sirius mumbles, sitting down at the table with his breakfast.

“Fine,” Snape mutters.

Sirius sighs, “Well you should eat something,” he says gesturing to the pancakes and bacon he’d put on the table.

“I’m not hungry,” Snape says.

“I haven’t poisoned it,” Sirius says.

“I didn’t say you had,” Snape mutters, even though he had been thinking it.

“Do you cook?” Sirius asks.

Snape sighs, Sirius never could shut the fuck up, “I know my way around a kitchen,” he says, “I’m better with magic, than the muggle way,” he says.

“You can cook the muggle way?” Sirius asks raising an eyebrow in surprise.

“My mum would cook for my dad the muggle way,” Snape says, “My dad didn’t like magic very much, I watched her and can do a little but it’s nothing spectacular,” he says.

“Well, you’re welcome to cook, if you prefer not to eat my cooking,” Sirius says.

“I’m not hungry,” Snape sighs.

“Fine,” Sirius says, eating his pancakes.

Snape pulls the sheets tighter around him, staring off across the room, willing himself to keep his thoughts together, keep himself from having a breakdown.

“Snape,” Sirius murmurs, standing in front of the sofa, looking curiously at Snape, who was staring off into space.

“Severus,” Sirius calls for the fourth time, snapping Snape out of his thoughts.

“What?” Snape mutters looking up at Sirius.

Sirius holds out a plate of bacon and eggs, no pancakes, and half a grapefruit, “You have to eat something,” he says, “starving yourself to death takes longer than you think, and it’s one of the worst ways to die,” he says.

Snape sighs, taking the plate from Sirius, pushing the food around on his plate, trying to examine all of it before he considered eating it.

“It’s going to take a lot of getting used to,” Sirius says.

“What are you talking about?” Snape asks.

“Calling you by your first name,” Sirius says, “I mean I probably should get used to calling you it, since we’re married now,” he mutters.

Snape sighs, “Yeah probably,” he says, taking a bite of the fruit on the plate.

“This whole thing is going to take getting used to,” Sirius says.

“Yeah,” Snape mutters finishing the fruit, before eating the eggs which were starting to get cold.

Sirius sighs, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, “Well do you want to get some things for the flat then?” he asks.

“Most of my stuff is in my trunk,” Snape says, “and it’s still at school,” Snape murmurs, finishing his breakfast.

“We’ll just sort it next week then when we get back,” Sirius says.

Snape just nods, getting up and taking his plate to the kitchen, doing the washing that Sirius had left in the sink.

“You don’t have to do that,” Sirius says.

“Oh yeah?” Snape asks, “Who else is going to do it?” he asks, using his wand to wash the plates.

Sirius shrugs, leaning back against the sofa, picking up the sheets Snape left on the sofa, wrapping them around himself.

“Well, then I guess I do have to do them,” Snape says softly, drying the dishes.

“You took yours off,” Sirius says looking at Snape’s wedding ring on the end table.

“I didn’t want to wear it back to school,” Snape mutters, glancing over his shoulder, “I didn’t want to have to tell anyone,” he says, putting the dishes away with a wave of his wand.

“People are going to notice,” Sirius says, “When we’re sleeping together.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “I’m sure there will be special arrangements,” he says, walking back to the sofa, sitting down, pulling his knees close against his chest.

“Our roommates will still ask questions,” Sirius says.

“ _Your_ roommates will ask questions,” Snape says.

“Whatever,” Sirius sighs, thinking about exactly what he was going to tell his friends. How was he going to say he was now married to Severus Snape, the boy they insisted on tormenting since they were eleven. If only Sirius knew then what was in store for him, just six years down the road, he may have made some different life choices. If only Sirius knew one year ago what was in store for him, he would have made some completely different choices with his life. But Sirius couldn’t think about that just now. He did know it was something that would have to be addressed, and he figured the only reason Snape hadn’t said anything, was that he was still in shock over what was happening, and he hadn’t fully processed what had happened.

“When are we leaving?” Snape asks.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Sirius says.

Snape sighs, “Well, I’d like to get back,” he says.

“For what?” Sirius asks, “You said it yourself, you don’t have anyone to get back to.”

“Why are you trying to stay here?” Snape asks harshly.

“I just don’t see what the rush is,” Sirius says.

“Look, I don’t want to do this anymore than you do, but eventually people are going to find out, and we have to face it eventually,” Snape says.

“I’d rather face it later, much, much later.”

Snape groans in frustration, “Just think up whatever horrible thing you want to say to people, and I’ll go along with it.”

Sirius looks over at Snape, he’d never thought of Snape as an actual person before, but he had been forced to spend the last twenty-four hours with him, and he couldn’t help it. Sirius did not like having to look at Snape this way, he didn’t like being forced to realize that Snape was not okay, in the slightest, and Sirius definitely didn’t want to talk to Snape about his feelings.

“Snape,” Sirius murmurs softly, “I just want to tell the truth,” Sirius says, “The horrible awful truth,” he says, “The Ministry assigned us together, and there’s nothing either of us can do about it,” Sirius sighs, “That’s what I’m going to say because that’s all there is to say.”

“Sirius, you don’t get it,” Snape says, “We’re going to be expected to provide children,” he says, “this isn’t just a for show thing,” he says, “This isn’t just something we can just get around,” Snape says, “I have no idea how they’re going to make it happen, but that’s the point of these arranged marriages, and we are no exception to that,” Snape says.

“I know,” Sirius sighs heavily, “I think we need to talk, really talk, but I don’t think right now is the time to do that,” he says, “I know what we have to do, and what we’re expected to do, but right now, what we’re expected to do is finish school, and figure out the rest of that stuff later,” he sighs.

“Sirius-“

“Worrying about it now, isn’t going to make the situation go away,” Sirius says, “so let’s just not think about it.”

“The situation isn’t just going to go away because you pretend it doesn’t exist,” Snape says harshly.

Sirius lets out an unintentional growl of disapproval.

“Don’t you growl at me, you filthy-“

“Let’s just go back to school!” Sirius snaps jumping up from the sofa.

“Fine,” Snape says glaring back at Sirius.

When Sirius and Snape leave Professor McGonagall’s office, after having been given new room accommodations. Sirius walks back to his room to pack his trunk, but mostly he wanted to see his friends. He hoped they were around.

“Padfoot!”

Sirius smiles, seeing all his friends in their dormitory. He hated to admit it, but he was even glad to see Pete, “Hey guys,” he says crawling up onto his bed.

“So, tell us all about her,” James says, pushing himself up on his elbows, leaning in for a better look at Sirius.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “I’d rather not,” he mutters.

“Oh god, she’s ugly,” James says.

Sirius grimaces, “err,” he murmurs.

“How ugly?” James prods.

“Shut up Prongs,” Remus says, “that’s Sirius’s wife,” he says, “She’s not ugly.”

Sirius had called Snape ugly on more than one occasion, and on the day of their wedding too, but just because Sirius said these things, didn’t make them inherently true.

“Tell us about her Pads,” Remus says softly.

Sirius sighs, “I was assigned a husband,” he says.

Remus stares wide eyes back at Sirius, “Seriously?”

Sirius nods, “it was an ordeal.”

“Why aren’t you happier about this Pads?” Peter asks, “It’s just what you wanted.”

“No,” Sirius says firmly, “It’s not just what I wanted.”

James looks at Sirius, “You’re always going on about some bloke you saw who you fancied, or how good Remus looks in red, but you get assigned a rare, same-sex marriage from the Ministry, and you look like you’ve just been force-fed a bowl of sour grapes,” James says, “What’s the deal?”

Sirius sighs getting up, starting to toss his things into his trunk, “Nothing,” he says, “I just don’t want to be married at seventeen,” he says.

“Well none of us want to be married Sirius,” Remus says softly.

“Except maybe you two,” Peter says, “to each other.”

“Peter,” Sirius scowls turning around to face him with a dangerous look on his face, “I’m getting really sick of your shit.”

Peter shudders under Sirius’s look, “I j-just,” he stammers, “You fancy each other,” he says flustered.

“That doesn’t mean you get to go around taking the piss out of it all the time,” Sirius snaps.

James watches Remus as he gets up from his bed, crossing the room, “You’re such a dick Wormtail,” he says, “You’ve upset Moony.”

Remus laughs lightly, “I’m fine you bunch of idiots,” he says, “I just needed the toilet, if you must know,” he says, before leaving the room shutting the door behind him.

“You fucking dickhead,” Sirius says, lobbing one of his textbooks across at Peter, before following Remus out of the room.

“Moony wait,” Sirius calls after him, hurrying down the stairs.

“Sirius I’m fine,” Remus insists, climbing out of the portrait hole walking down the stairs.

“Then stop walking away from me,” Sirius says following Remus down the stairs.

Remus steps off the stairs, turning to face Sirius, “I’m looking at you,” he says with a gentle smile.

Sirius sighs stepping off the stairs, “Moony,” Sirius says.

“What is it Pads?” Remus asks.

“This is not how we end it,” Sirius says.

Remus smiles, “I think it is,” he says, “I don’t think you can be married to some other bloke, and keep up a relationship with me,” he says softly.

“Trust me,” Sirius says, “that’s not going to be an issue.”

What’s going on Sirius?” Remus asks.

Sirius sighs, “I’ve got Snape,” he says.

“What?” Remus asks, “You’ve got Snape? Have you kidnapped him? Is he upstairs in your trunk?” Remus teases.

“I got Snape, assigned to me as my husband,” Sirius says looking at Remus.

Remus stares at Sirius, “You can’t be serious,” he says.

“I fucking wish I wasn’t serious,” Sirius mutters, showing Remus his wedding band, “There’s some kind of encrypted magic in them, they need to be close to the matching one at nights or something,” he says.

“The Ministry can’t force you to love someone, it’s against the law,” Remus says.

“Yeah, it’s not like that,” Sirius says, “I don’t exactly know how it works, to be honest,” he says pulling the ring off, handing it to Remus, “look inside.”

Remus takes the ring, looking inside, A magically etched inscription read, _Spouse: Black-Snape_.

“You can’t,” Remus says, “This must be a mistake,” Remus says.

“Yeah, that’s what I said, but refusal apparently, means you get to meet a pair of Azkaban’s finest guards,” Sirius mutters as Remus hands him back the ring.

“That’s inhumane!” Remus scoffs.

“Well, I certainly got the worst of the lot, so no one else is in danger of having to get Snape,” Sirius grimaces.

“Sirius-“

“Look, I’m just gonna go get my trunk, and I just want to lay low until the end of term,” Sirius says.

“You’re gonna have to tell James and Peter,” Remus says.

“You tell them, I can’t face Peter’s shit right now,” Sirius sighs, “We’ll talk tomorrow okay?”

Remus sighs, “I hate when you make me tell them all the important stuff,” he says.

“You’re the best at stuff like this Moony,” Sirius says.

Remus rolls his eyes, “Yeah, fine,” he mutters, “I guess you do deserve a break considering what you’re dealing with.”

“Thank you,” Sirius says, “I love you.”

“Yeah,” Remus sighs, “I love you too Pads,” he murmurs as Sirius walks back upstairs to the common room.

Sirius walks up to the sixth floor, his trunk floating behind him, as he makes his way down the south corridor, left past a Misslethrope portrait, finally finding his temporary room on the left, with a doorknocker of the school crest on it. Sirius pushes the door open slowly before stepping inside, looking around for a moment. It was smaller than his flat, which was surprising. In its defense, it was only the bedroom and an EnSite bathroom.

“You’re here,” Sirius says, seeing Snape sitting at a desk across the room.

“Yeah,” Snape mutters, not looking up from his book.

Sirius walks inside, shutting the door behind him, as he sets his trunk on the opposite side of the bedroom, before curling up in one of the armchairs beside the bed.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks.

“Reading,” Snape murmurs.

“Oh,” Sirius says.

Snape sighs, looking over at Sirius, “What do you want?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Sirius says rolling his eyes.

“Why are you here, instead of with your idiot friends,” Snape says.

“Because I couldn’t figure out how to tell them I just married the biggest fuck-face in the whole school,” Sirius snaps.

Snape rolls his eyes, “Cute,” he snarls.

“Why do you always have to do that?” Sirius says.

“Do what?” Snape asks rolling his eyes, “You just called me a fuck-face.”

“Yeah, because you called my friends Idiots,” Sirius says.

“You are a bunch of idiots,” Snape says, “Especially when you get all of you together,” he mutters.

“Oh, fuck off!” Sirius snaps.

“I’d love to, but I’m stuck with you now, no matter how much I can’t stand the sight of you,” Snape mutters.

“You’re lucky, you get to look at me all day,” Sirius says, “I have to look at you all day,” he snarls.

“Here we go again,” Snape says, “Self-centered much,” he says rolling his eyes.

“You always wear the most horrible, faded black robes, that look like they’re always too big for you, your hair is always in your face, so no one can ever get a proper look at you,” Sirius says, “and it looks like you never even bother to wash your stupid hair, which has split ends like I’ve never seen,” Sirius says, “Seriously, you’d never know there was an actual person under that giant nose, and behind all that horrible hair.”

Snape stares at Sirius for a moment, not entirely sure of what to make of this, and no idea how to respond to this outburst.

“Anything else?” Snape asks looking over at Sirius.

“Yeah,” Sirius spits out, “Eat a damn cheeseburger, you’re like a skeleton with skin hanging off it,” he snaps, “And I can’t imagine having to look at that every fucking night,” he says harshly.

Snape blinks back at Sirius, staying quiet as he watches Sirius who seemed like he had more to say.

“How I’m going to be expected to get through having sex with you, looking like that, it’s just not gonna happen,” Sirius continues, “I’ll never be able to finish, hell, I’ll never be able to get started at this rate,” he says, “No amount of magic could ever make it possible to get through that,” Sirius says before letting out a heavy breath.

Snape pushes himself up slowly from the desk, grasping onto his book, in an effort to hide his shaking hands, “Well,” he says softly, “If I may remind you, that I never forced you to look at me that way,” he says, “It was Potter’s idea, that you went along with, to strip me naked, in front of the whole school,” Snape says making his way across the room.

“Where the hell are you going?” Sirius asks.

“Well, I think I’ll go find a quiet place to finish my book,” Snape says before leaving the room, shutting the door softly behind him, as tears threaten to fill his eyes. Snape refused to give in, they were just words, horrible, disgusting words, from a person he was expected to spend the rest of his life with, raise children with, and die with.

Sirius has dinner with Remus, James, and Peter that night, dodging every question about Snape. And leaving the table when Peter began asking what he thought it would be like to spend all that time with Snape.

Sirius doesn’t see Snape when he got back after dinner, but after this afternoon, he did not expect to see him. Sirius takes a shower and decides to take a night walk to the Gryffindor common room to see Moony.

It’s just before midnight when Sirius walks into the bedroom, seeing Snape curled up on the left side of the bed, Sirius was aware that Snape was not asleep.

Sirius changes into his pajamas before getting into bed, turning his back to Snape, not saying a thing to him.

Snape lays on the bed very still for what felt like hours, before he turns over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, thinking of what he could do to make all of this go away.

Neither Sirius nor Snape slept that night, getting up in the morning, even more, tired than the day before. Sirius had used a potion to make his eyes not appear bloodshot from not sleeping all night, while Snape curls up on the bed, and decides not to venture from the bedroom for the entire day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much! I am so thankful to everyone who's been reading this story and to those who have been enjoying this story. Thank you, everyone! This chapter was a shorter one, but I do hope you all enjoyed it anyways. Again I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been reading this and enjoying the content! Thank you so much! <3


	3. Of Rats and Snakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their marriage goes on, Sirius finds himself wondering about Snape's true intentions, because he always had an agenda. Snape continues wallowing in his despair of having to be married to his nemesis, but has to learn to accept the facts as they're laid out in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! For those of you who have been reading this story and have been leaving comments, thank you so very much!!! Thank you also to those of you who have just been reading this story and just enjoying the content! I am so thankful to all of you and really appreciate your time! So without further ado, the next installment! <3

Two months later, Snape has settled into Sirius’s flat. Sirius begrudgingly gave Snape exactly two drawers on his dresser, and exactly one shelf inside the closet, with six inches of space for him to hang his robes.

Snape notices that Sirius has very few robes, and the closet is full of muggle clothes. Denim, Leather, T-shirts, all kinds of jackets. Sirius had a lot of muggle clothes, and what appeared to be very few wizard robes, which Snape assumed Sirius only wore when absolutely necessary.

Snape sets up a small single desk in the corner of the living room, where he arranged seven cauldrons by size, from largest to smallest, before arranging his phials of potion ingredients in alphabetical order.

Sirius seeing the very cramped desk space rolled his eyes before telling Snape to hang things on shelves on the wall, so he would not have to look at this eyesore of a desk all the time.

“What’s that?” Sirius asks one day, seeing Snape reading a large oversized book.

“Research Manual,” Snape says lifting his eyes to meet Sirius’s.

“Research on what?” Sirius asks.

“Research on magic, the ministry, sort of everything,” Snape says.

“Why are you reading that?” Sirius asks.

“I’m going for an interview at the Ministry tomorrow,” Snape says.

“What?” Sirius says, “Since when?”

“Two weeks now,” Snape says, “What’s the problem, Sirius?”

“Nothing,” Sirius says, “What department?” he asks.

Snape sighs, crossing his legs, “Why are you so interested in what I’m doing all of the sudden?” he asks.

“Forget it,” Sirius says, “It was just a stupid question,” Sirius says before walking into the bedroom, leaving Snape alone.

Snape watches after Sirius for a moment before going back to his book. If this was Sirius’s way of trying to apologize, he was going to have to do a lot better than this. Snape wanted to continue ignoring Sirius, and hold his grudge, but in the back of his mind, he knew they were married, and that was not going to be a viable option for the rest of their life. Which meant Severus Snape had to learn how to resolve his problems with Sirius Black, which Snape really did not want to have to do. It was clear however that Sirius was not trying, and Snape wasn’t going to put effort into this if Sirius wasn’t going to.

When Snape had finished reading his manual, he decided that Sirius evidently was not going to be coming out of the bedroom any time soon, which meant Snape was going to be the one doing the cooking. Snape didn’t mind doing the cooking, even though it wasn’t his favorite thing. Sirius didn’t seem to mind Snape’s cooking, which was a surprise to Snape, considering he could be slowly poising Sirius without him ever guessing he was going to meet an untimely death. The first time Snape cooked, Sirius ate an entire bowl of lentil soup without question, and without any backtalk. The second time Snape cooked, he made dumpling soup and Sirius commented on Snape’s noticeably thin figure and insisted he wished dinner were heartier, as he was a growing adult wizard. Snape told Sirius to fuck off and make his own dinner if he did not like it. Sirius made and ate an entire chocolate cake without so much as offering Snape a piece, after dinner that night.

“You’re kidding right,” Sirius says when he walks into the kitchen to see Snape eating a bowl of what looked like cabbage soup.

“No one is forcing you to eat anything,” Snape murmurs, slowly chewing a bit of cabbage.

“Why would you cook this?” Sirius asks.

“I like cabbage soup,” Snape murmurs.

“No one likes cabbage anything!” Sirius says.

“You can cook for yourself if you don’t want soup,” Snape says.

“Fine,” Sirius says frustratedly.

Snape says nothing, and eats his soup, staring down into his bowl.

Sirius picks up a roll that was sitting on the countertop, at least the bread was still warm, he thought to himself before turning to face Snape, “Why do I smell lamb?” he asks.

Snape sighs, “Because I made lamb stew, but I didn’t like how it turned out, so I made cabbage soup instead,” he says.

Sirius frowns, turning to see a second pot on the stovetop. He peered inside, surprised to see what looked like a very fresh, hearty stew, which smelled quite nice to him.

“I like lamb,” Sirius says.

“Eat the stew then,” Snape murmurs, “best not to waste it.”

“Why didn’t you like it?” Sirius asks skeptically.

“I couldn’t get the consistency right,” Snape says, “or the spices.”

Sirius looks at the stew for another moment, before deciding it couldn’t be that bad, and decides to put some into a bowl for himself. Sirius sits down at the table across from Snape who was eating a second bowl of cabbage soup, along with a buttered dinner roll.

“It’s not horrible,” Sirius says, after tasting the stew, “It’s not very good though,” he says.

“Yeah, I know,” Snape says, “that’s why I went with the cabbage,” he says.

“I’d rather have the stew,” Sirius says.

“Fine then,” Snape says, “Eat the stew, no one is forcing you to do anything Sirius,” he mutters.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “I can’t eat any more soup-based dinners,” he says, “I’m cooking tomorrow.”

“You’re more than welcomed to cook for yourself any day of the week,” Snape mutters.

Sirius rolls his eyes again, “whatever,” he mutters, eating his stew.

Snape says nothing and finishes his soup, before cleaning up the kitchen, leaving the stew for Sirius to finish before he makes himself a cup of tea.

“We’re out of milk,” Snape says grumpily when he looks in the refrigerator for some milk for his tea.

“I drank it this morning,” Sirius says, slurping the last of his stew.

Snape sighs, taking his tea to the bedroom.

“We’ll get more tomorrow, it’s not that serious,” Sirius says.

“Whatever,” Snape says, shutting the door to the bedroom so he couldn’t see Sirius anymore.

Sirius rolls his eyes thinking Snape was being immature. Sirius finishes the stew, before cleaning up the rest of the dishes, thinking of sending an owl to James.

“What do you want now,” Snape snarls when Sirius comes into the bedroom.

“It’s my room, I can come in whenever I like,” Sirius says, grabbing some parchment from the bedroom shelf, and a quill.

Snape rolls his eyes, getting into bed, turning away from the doorway.

Sirius sits down at the kitchen table, beginning to write James a letter.

_Prongs,_

_Can’t stand the sight of the overgrown bat anymore. Come visit, I’m bored to tears. Bring Moony. Even bring Pete if you have to, I just need some decent humans to talk to!_

_Padfoot_

Sirius steps out on the balcony spotting the black owl, perched on the railing.

“C’mon Dot, take this to James for me,” Sirius says, reaching out to scratch the top of the owl’s head.

Dot leaned into the scratch at first, before sticking out his leg, allowing Sirius to tie the letter to his leg.

“Good boy,” Sirius says with a gentle smile, “Be quick, make James write back straight away.”

Dot nips at the back of Sirius’s hand, causing Sirius to swear before Dot flies off into the evening.

Sirius decided he wanted to take a bath before bed. He walks back inside, gently rubbing the back of his hand where Dot had bitten him. Sirius walks into the bathroom, running some warm water, deciding he needed to relax, and decided to add some Jasmin and Lavender to the bath, as he planned on spending a bit of time unwinding in the bath tonight.

Sirius undresses before turning off the water when the bath was full, before stepping into the warm bath water, sinking down into the water, letting his eyes slip shut.

About two, nearly three hours later Sirius finally steps out of the bath, drying off before putting on a black nightshirt. Sirius smiles, seeing Dot sitting on the coffee table with a letter attached to his leg.

“You’re the best Dot,” Sirius smiles walking over to read the letter.

Dot hoots loudly, ruffling his wings, “Fine then,” Sirius says, “All we have is plain bread right now,” he says, fetching a slice of bread for Dot, who took it and went back to his perch on the coffee table.

Sirius opens the letter and begins to read.

_Padfoot,_

_I’ll bring reinforcements Friday. Hang in there. We’ll get out of the house for the day!_

_Prongs_

Sirius smiles to himself, he could make it two more days. He hoped.

“Goodnight Dot,” Sirius calls out, before walking into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him, before crawling into bed, pulling the sheets over himself, as he tries not to think about the fact that he was sleeping beside Snape again.

When Sirius wakes up the next morning, Snape was not beside him, and Sirius considered this a good start to his morning. He lets out a long yawn before rolling out of bed, deciding to make himself breakfast. Sirius didn’t see Snape in the living room or kitchen, and in the back of his head he was so happy, he hoped Snape never came back.

Sirius makes toast and eggs with bacon for breakfast, wondering what Snape had for breakfast for a moment, before remembering that he didn’t care. Sirius finished his breakfast, clearing up before deciding he would take advantage of his Snape free day, and get out of the house. Sirius gets dressed and runs a brush through his dark hair, thinking he really was looking fit today.

When Sirius comes home that afternoon, he had spent all day out of the house, and couldn’t have been happier. He had gone to Diagon Alley and gotten himself two sundaes with extra chocolate. He’d taken his motorbike for a trip, and even got himself a new pair of trousers, which he couldn’t wait to wear for Moony. That was until he remembered he was married now. Then decided that just because he was married didn’t mean he was going to stop dressing up for Moony, it’s just something that he did.

Snape was sitting on the sofa with another large book when Sirius walked into the flat, and his good mood was suddenly fading quickly, but Sirius decided he wasn’t going to let Snape ruin his good mood. He still wasn’t going to be nice though. That was asking too much.

“You’re back early,” Sirius comments casually.

Snape frowns, and looks down at his watch, “It’s nearly five in the afternoon,” he says.

Sirius shrugs, “I don’t know how jobs work,” he says, “I’m a trust fund kid,” he says.

Snape looks over at Sirius, “your parents wrote you out of their will,” he says.

“I still have more than enough money to live comfortably, until I die, and never have to work a day in my life,” Sirius says plainly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Snape raises an eyebrow, looking over at Sirius, “Do you know how expensive it is to raise a child?” he asks.

“No,” Sirius says, “I never wanted kids,” he says, “Well, more like I never thought I would have them,” he says, “Being gay and all.”

“Well they cost a lot of money to clothe, and feed, and just care for in general,” Snape says.

“So it looks like you’ve got the work thing figured out, you can take care of having enough money for the kid, and I’ll still live comfortably for the rest of my life without having to work a single day,” Sirius says.

Snape rolls his eyes, looking back at his book, “Sure thing,” he mutters wishing Sirius would shut the hell up.

Sirius turns around when he gets a scent of butter, and suddenly realizes that ice cream couldn’t hold his appetite for a whole day, “Why do I smell butter?” he asks, walking into the kitchen, “you cooked again?” he asks.

Snape sighs, “Yes, I was hungry, so I made myself dinner.”

“Yourself?” Sirius asks, turning to glance at Snape over his shoulder for a moment, before following the scent to the oven, which was only keeping the food warm, “There’s enough food to feed a family here,” he says.

Snape sighs, “It’s called leftovers,” he says, deciding to close his book since he wasn’t going to be able to finish reading with Sirius now home. That man was too much of a distraction to Snape.

Snape gets up, walking into the kitchen, “would you like some food then?” he asks.

Sirius wanted some food, but he didn’t want to take any from Snape, but it looked decent, and for the first time in over a week, it wasn’t soup or stew.

“Get plates then,” Snape says, even though Sirius didn’t say he wanted to share the meal that Snape had prepared.

Sirius watches Snape for a moment, before stepping aside, waving his wand, to set the table.

Snape rolls his eyes but walks over to the table to pick up the plates, glaring at the back of Sirius’s long dark hair when he turns back around to find Sirius eyeing the food very closely, “Move,” he snaps.

“I’m just looking,” Sirius mutters, before stepping aside.

Snape says nothing as he spoons food onto the first plate, buttered peas, roasted carrots, and two pieces of roasted chicken, holding the plate out to Sirius.

Sirius looks at the plate then back at Snape, “I’d like more meat,” he says.

Snape watches Sirius thinking about telling Sirius to fuck right off, but instead, he adds the largest piece of chicken onto the plate, “So much for leftovers,” he says, handing Sirius back the plate.

“Yeah, leftovers don’t really go over well here,” Sirius says taking the plate from Snape finally happy with the portion size before he goes to sit down at the table.

Snape makes his own plate, filling it with mostly peas, a fair amount of carrots, and one piece of chicken, before he sits down at the table, sighing softly.

Sirius was surprised that the food was actually good, much better than he expected, “How long did this take?” Sirius asks.

Snape shrugs, “Half an hour or something,” he says.

Sirius stabs a carrot with his fork, “it’s much better than the soup,” he says.

Snape looks at Sirius from across the table, “I think that’s a sort of backward compliment, but I can’t really tell.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

Snape narrows his eyes at Sirius, “You could just say thank you, you know.”

Sirius scoffs, “For what?”

“That I fed you,” Snape says, “I could have made you make your own dinner.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Whatever.”

Snape glares back at Sirius for a moment, before turning to finish his dinner in silence.

When Sirius crawls into bed that night Snape was fast asleep, Sirius hated that he could now tell when Snape was genuinely asleep as opposed to laying there awake, pretending to be asleep. Which Snape did more often than Sirius thought was normal, but Sirius wasn’t going to ask Snape about it, that would imply that he cared, and he definitely did not care.

Sirius, however, could not sleep, he laid in bed awake for hours, wondering about what Snape was actually doing at the Ministry, because he definitely could not be working there, that just didn’t make any sense. What would he even do? Snape never showed any interest in doing anything with the Ministry. All he ever seemed interested in was the Dark Arts, and there definitely was not work for him involving Dark Arts at the ministry. Maybe he could get Remus to talk to Snape and figure it out, Remus was the only one Snape didn’t seem to hate, which was surprising given what happened. But on the other hand, Sirius was the one who had actually orchestrated that prank. Looking back on all the things Sirius had done to Snape since they had been eleven, it would have been him who he ended up having to be forced to marry.

When Sirius finally manages to fall asleep, the sun was beginning to rise, he turns over on his side, and closes his eyes falling asleep after some time. When Sirius wakes up, it was past noon. He sits up on the bed, letting out a long yawn, and stretching his body. Sirius climbs out of bed and suddenly remembers he’s finally going to be seeing his friends today, and finally get out of the house and look at actual people. Sirius jumps off the bed, and into the bathroom to take a shower.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sirius asks nearly an hour later when he had finished taking a shower and gotten dressed.

“Unfortunately, I live here now,” Snape replies, not looking up at Sirius.

“I thought you were working at the Ministry or something,” Sirius says.

Snape looks up from his copy of _experimental magic for sorcerers,_ “No, not yet,” Snape murmurs, “they’ll send an owl,” he says.

Sirius frowns, “I have plans today,” he says, “You can’t be here.”

“Fine,” Snape mutters, “I’ll stay in the bedroom,” he says.

“My friends are coming over, and they don’t want to see you,” Sirius snarls.

“I just said I’ll stay in the bedroom,” Snape says.

“No,” Sirius says, “I can’t make out with Moony if you’re hiding out in there,” he says.

Snape sighs, crossing his arms over his chest, “Really?”

“Well I certainly don’t use it for having sex with you,” Sirius says.

“We need a bigger flat,” Snape mutters to himself.

“Can you afford a bigger flat?” Sirius asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“You could,” Snape says, “You have enough galleons to live comfortably forever, remember.”

“That’s my money,” Sirius says looking back at Snape.

“You honestly can’t see us raising an infant in this tiny flat,” Snape says seriously.

Sirius shrugs, if he absolutely had to, he could just clear up the second bedroom

“You haven’t even thought about it have you,” Snape accuses, “this flat isn’t even big enough for the two of us, let alone an infant,” Snape says.

“We don’t have an infant if you haven’t noticed,” Sirius says, “we’d have to have sex to have one of those.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “Fuck off Sirius.”

“Wow,” Sirius says, “swearing, I think that’s the most emotion you’ve shown in the last three months, I like it, finally standing up for yourself.”

Now Sirius was just trying to get a rise out of Snape, Snape wasn’t going to let Sirius get to him, not like this.

“I’m going,” Snape says, turning to leave.

“We were just finally starting to have a real conversation,” Sirius says, “Don’t be such a pushover, Snape.”

“Being put in your place would turn you on,” Snape says, crossing his arms over his chest, “Having someone finally call you out on your shit, being told that you’re no better than anyone else, and definitely not any better than me,” Snape says, “You were always sick like that,” he says.

Sirius smirks, looking back at Snape, “Keep that up, you’ve sparked my interest,” he says, taking a step toward Snape.

“Get the hell away from me, you’re disgusting,” Snape says pushing Sirius back as he steps forward again.

“Come on Severus, tell me how disgusting I am,” Sirius smirks.

“Fuck you,” Snape says before walking away.

“Yeah, keep talking to me like that, and I might consider it,” Sirius calls after him, just as Snape shuts the bedroom door.

No sooner did the door shut did Sirius hear swearing from behind him, and he turns around to see Peter on the floor in front of the fireplace.

“Nice one, Wormtail,” Sirius mutters, watching Peter pull himself up.

“Hi Sirius,” he grins.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Hey Pete,” he says.

A moment later Remus steps out of the fireplace, stepping over Peter, “Come on Peter, you can’t do this every time you go through the Floo,” he says, “Get it together.”

Sirius grins, “Moony,” he says excitedly, hurrying over to him, wrapping his arms tight around the werewolf.

Remus smiles, hugging him back, “Hey Padfoot,” he grins back happily.

“Get a room you two,” James says stepping out of the fireplace last.

“Jealous James,” Sirius teases.

Remus smiles, “didn’t you hear?” he says glancing over his shoulder at James, “He got his own marriage summons.”

“What?” Sirius asks shocked, letting go of Remus, “When?”

“Just got it a few days ago,” James says.

“When's the big day?” Sirius asks.

"First thing Monday morning," James says.

“He's just disappointed it might not be Evans,” Peter supplies a moment later, getting himself up from the floor.

“Shut up Pete!” James says punching him hard on the arm.

“Damnit James,” Peter swears rubbing his arm, “that hurt!”

“Then shut your damn mouth,” James says glaring over at him.

“You think it could be Evans?" Sirius asks curiously.

James shrugs, "Don't know, could be anyone," he says.

“Oh, come off it James,” Sirius says, “you know she likes you.”

“Not that it matters,” James says, "We don't get to choose."

“Then let’s go out and celebrate!” Sirius grins.

“Let’s go to Faire Fortune,” Remus says suddenly.

“Yes,” Sirius grins, “Peachtree Ale!”

James laughs, “wow, alright, let’s go.”

Sirius leaves with James, Remus, and Peter without saying anything to Snape, he was ready for a good time, he deserved it after all he had to put up with over the last few months.

It’s before midnight when Sirius comes home, Remus, Peter, and James stumbling out of the fire a moment later.

“Why’s it dark in here,” Peter says a minute later.

“Cause Snape’s probably asleep,” Sirius says not bothering to keep his voice down.

“But it’s early,” Peter says.

“How’s that going?” James asks a moment later.

“Did my drinking all night, and flirting with Moony not give it away?” Sirius asks.

“Well getting married certainly doesn’t change your personality,” James says, “But I would have assumed you at least tried to work things out,” James says.

“I need the toilet,” Peter says a moment later.

“Peter!” Sirius snaps, “You know where it is, we’re trying to have a conversation,” he says before turning back to James, “You can’t be serious, James.”

“We definitely do need to talk Padfoot, but sober, yeah,” James mutters.

“James,” Sirius says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Snape,” Peter gasps standing in the hall, spotting Snape standing at the window in the bedroom.

Snape turns, glancing over his shoulder, looking at Peter.

“Pettigrew,” Snape murmurs, turning to face him, crossing his arms over his chest.

Peter swallows thickly, “What are you doing?” he asks.

“I live here,” Snape says narrowing his eyes at Peter, “I was getting ready for bed when you lot came in, loudly.”

“Right,” Peter mutters.

Snape smirks, “You look nervous,” he says, “worried they’ll find out your secret, Pettigrew,” he says glancing at Peter’s arm, which was currently twitching nervously against his side.

“I-I-“ Peter stutters, “You wouldn’t,” he starts, “I could-“

“Then do it,” Snape says, “He already suspects anyways, you wouldn’t be surprising him,” he says, “but I think finding out his friend is a follower, might shock him,” Snape says looking at Peter.

“I wasn’t,” Peter says quietly, “I mean, I-“

“What?” Snape says, “You what?”

Peter sighs, “Just don’t say anything to him, please,” he mutters.

“Don’t beg me for anything Pettigrew,” Snape says.

“I need the loo,” Peter mumbles.

“I’m sure you know where it is,” Snape says, looking at Peter.

Peter swallows, instinctively reaching for his forearm before walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Snape watches after Peter for a moment before walking over, shutting the bedroom door before walking to the other side of the bed, crawling under the sheets, turning the lights off, letting out a heavy sigh as he lies there, suddenly not feeling tired at all.

Snape is very aware of when Sirius crawls into bed, he doesn’t think it’s much later, but he isn’t actually sure what time it is. Usually, Sirius would crawl into bed, and turn away from him, and fall asleep shortly after. Tonight, however, Snape was oddly aware of the fact that Sirius was treading very lightly as he crawls into the bed beside Snape. Snape doesn’t move or say anything, but he is aware of the fact that Sirius doesn’t go straight to sleep but instead pulls the sheets up and lays quietly in the darkness.

When Sirius wakes up in the morning, he sighs heavily, wishing he hadn’t drunk so much Peachtree ale last night, he had been mostly sober when he went to bed, but he did have a headache and was finding the light coming in from the curtains quite annoying.

Sirius stumbles out of bed a minute later, walking into the living room seeing Snape hunched over his tiny desk, waving his wand over a tiny gold cauldron.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks walking into the kitchen getting himself a glass of water.

Snape sighs softly, “What do you want?” he asks.

“Just asking what you’re doing,” Sirius says before drinking down a full glass of water, before filling the glass again.

“It’s an enchanting liquid,” Snape murmurs.

Sirius sighs turning to look at Snape before blurting out, “We need more space.”

“Hmm,” Snape murmurs, “I said that yesterday.”

“Yeah well, I’m willing to listen now,” Sirius grits out.

Snape had exactly fifty-seven seconds to add the frog brain, and Sirius was getting irritated by Snape’s lack of enthusiasm on his part. Snape should be grateful that Sirius wanted to listen to him now.

Snape drops the tiny frog brain into the cauldron, tapping the cauldron with his wand, watching the bubbles get bigger, as the ingredients dissolve, before he turns off the fire under his cauldron, turning to look at Sirius who was standing now only feet away from him.

“I want my own room,” Snape says, “I want my own bed, I don’t want to sleep with you anymore,” he says.

“That’s not happening,” Sirius says without really thinking about it.

Snape watches Sirius curiously, but says nothing else, waiting for Sirius to continue.

“I just mean, maybe it’s time I clear out the second bedroom,” Sirius says. Snape hadn’t actually seen the second bedroom yet, there had been no need for him to go in there, and besides that Sirius kept it locked with a spell and a key.

“Look, we need to do this right,” Sirius says, “This marriage, I mean,” he says, “I don’t want to, but we have to.”

“And you mean what exactly?” Snape asks.

“There’s a war going on right now,” Sirius says, “and hostility isn’t going to solve anything, or keep us any safer,” Sirius says with a heavy sigh, “so, I have some things I need to say, some things I need to apologize for, some things I’d like to propose, and some things I’d like to discuss with you.”

Snape had not expected this from Sirius, he never expected an apology, and he never expected Sirius to sit down beside him and have an actual conversation.

Talking to Sirius wasn’t as difficult as Snape thought it should be, but Snape wasn’t anywhere near able to forgive him for the things he’s said and done yet. Sirius understood this, as he wasn’t ready to forgive Snape just yet either, but in all honesty, Sirius had done much worse to Snape, and Sirius was fully aware of that, but eventually, they were going to have to work through things, but they could take that slow for now.

Sirius thinks it’s absolutely amazing how far a sincere apology could get him, of course, he hadn’t expected Snape to forgive him straight away, but Snape’s hostility toward Sirius did seem to lessen after Sirius said sorry for the horrible things he said to him, and the horrible things he did. Snape wasn’t about to get friendly with Sirius, but he did appreciate the humility Sirius was at least willing to show.

Snape makes lunch for the two of them, and Sirius complains when he smells soup cooking.

“No one is forcing you to eat it,” Snape says, “Cook yourself if you want something different,” Snape says filling his bowl with lentil soup.

“Can’t you make more of that chicken?” Sirius asks.

“You ate it,” Snape says, “Roast your own chicken if that’s what you want.”

“I’m hungry now,” Sirius says.

“Then eat your lentils,” Snape says.

Sirius sighs, getting up to make himself a bowl of soup before sitting down at the table opposite of Snape.

A month later, Snape steps out of the fireplace, he’d been working at the Ministry for two weeks now, Sirius really didn’t understand what he was doing, and he decided he wasn’t going to ask anymore.

Sirius was coming out of the bedroom, half surprised to see Snape standing in the living room.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius asks.

“I just got in,” Snape murmurs, watching Sirius for a moment, it looked as if he was going out.

“Is it that time already?” Sirius asks.

Snape raises an eyebrow, “Where are you going?” he asks.

“To see James,” Sirius replies, “I’ll be back late,” he says.

“Fine,” Snape says deciding he might read a book and try to relax tonight if Sirius was going to be out late.

“Bye,” Sirius says, grabbing a jacket, before stepping into the fireplace.

Snape watches Sirius leave before walking into the bedroom, getting undressed as he decided to take a shower.

Snape steps out of the shower half an hour later, wrapping a towel around his body, as he dries off, finding the quiet of the house nice. Sirius almost always had the WWN on, and more times than not, he would be singing along to whatever was on the radio, and Snape couldn’t concentrate with Sirius screeching in the next room. Snape makes a simple pasta and tomato sauce for dinner, before washing the dishes, and deciding to tidy up, since Sirius never tidied the flat unless explicitly told to do so. After putting things away, Snape sat up in one of the large armchairs, and decided to read for leisure, he didn’t get to do much leisure reading anymore.

Having lost track of time, Snape looks down at his watch and sees it’s nearing midnight, and his eyes were getting tired. He gets up, putting the book back on the bookshelf, before walking into the bedroom, beginning to change into his nightshirt.

“Merlin, you’re so pale,” Snape turns around, glaring quickly at Sirius, quickly covering himself up.

“Don’t you get any sun?” Sirius continues.

“Whatever,” Snape says crawling into bed, turning away from Sirius.

“Last summer Moony and I went to a clothing-optional beach in France,” Sirius says with a grin, “It really is the best way to get a tan.”

“You never shut up, do you,” Snape murmurs.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Whatever,” he says, before walking into the closet, changing into his pajamas.

After putting on his pajamas Sirius crawls into bed beside Snape, glancing over at him for a moment, before turning away, “What are you doing all day?” Sirius asks a moment later.

“What are you talking about?” Snape murmurs, wishing Sirius would just turn the light off so he could go to sleep.

“At the Ministry,” Sirius says, “What are you doing there?”

“I work there now,” Snape says.

“But what is your work,” Sirius asks, “What do you do there?”

Snape sighs, rolling over onto his back, “I work with experimental magic,” Snape says.

Sirius frowns, “Like charm creation?” Sirius asks.

“Kind of,” Snape says, “The Department of Experimental Magic, has eight main divisions, Charms, Potions, Spellcasting, Transfigurations, Magical Plants and herbs, Mental Magic, Dark Magic, and Magical Devices and Items,” Snape says.

“You’re working with Dark Magic!” Sirius says sitting up in bed, looking over at Snape.

Snape looks at Sirius, “I mostly work with the Alchemists, which are a subdivision of the Potions division,” Snape says, “I work with a lot of metals, and magical herbs, actually,” he says.

“Until you can work your way closer to the Dark Arts,” Sirius says, “What is wrong with you,” Sirius says, “Why are you so obsessed with the Dark Arts.”

Snape doesn’t answer, he didn’t have an answer for this question, besides the fact that Snape wanted to know as much about every type of magic, he couldn’t say why he was so attracted to the dark arts, but he did know that it was better to have the knowledge and be able to protect himself if he ever needed to than to know nothing about the dark magic that went into creating the spells.

“I’m talking to you,” Sirius says looking at Snape.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Snape says, “I don’t have an answer for you, I don’t know why the dark arts are fascinating to me,” he says.

“You admit you’re trying to work with the dark arts!” Sirius accuses loudly.

“I actually like what I’m doing,” Snape murmurs, “it’s therapeutic,” he says, “though I wouldn’t mind working closer with the Spellcasting department.”

“You’re lying,” Sirius says.

“What reason do I have to lie to you?” Snape retorts.

“You don’t want people to know how deep into the dark arts you really are,” Sirius says, “This obsession is disgusting, next thing you know you’ll be running around with Voldemort,” he says.

Snape sighs, “I’m not working with dark magic,” he says.

“I saw all those books you were reading at school, _Magick Moste Evile,_ ” Sirius says, “and all those other horrible books, I can’t believe teachers gave you permission to read them out of the restricted section,” he says.

“It’s just reading books,” Snape says, “I haven’t gone off and done anything evil,” he says, “I haven’t created poisons, or gone off and killed anyone,” he says, “I’ve never used an illegal curse.”

“Then why are you reading that stuff, and why are you working with dark magic,” Sirius says.

“It’s just something to read,” Snape says, “and I already told you, I mostly work with metals and plants, I don’t have anything to do with dark magic at work.”

“What are you working on then?” Sirius asks.

“I’ve been working with the properties of water,” Snape says, “separating the different particles to see what makes water wet, and if it’s possible to recreate the same molecular structure with different elements,” he says not expecting Sirius to understand what he was talking about.

“Why would you want to do that?” Sirius asks, “Why does it matter why water is wet?”

“It’s all research,” Snape says, “different particles may react differently, separate than they do together,” he says, “That’s why they call it the Department of Experimental Magic.”

Sirius sighs, “I know you’re up to something sinister, Severus,” he mutters, lying back down on the bed.

“I don’t know if you can really call water molecules sinister,” Snape replies.

“I know you didn’t start working there to work with water molecules,” Sirius says, “you’re keeping secrets.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “You have plenty of secrets from me,” he says, “and maybe if you asked more about me, you’d know the answers to these questions you have about me,” he says.

“As if you’d tell me a single thing about yourself,” Sirius says.

“Yeah, I really don’t feel like sharing about myself with someone who treats me the way you do, actually,” Snape says, “You have to give respect to receive respect, and you’re one of the most disrespectful people I’ve ever met in my entire life,” Snape mutters.

“I don’t respect the dark arts,” Sirius says.

“Well I do respect the dark arts,” Snape says, “and I can respect the dark arts and still have boundaries.”

“Every time I look at you, I’m reminded that I’m literally sleeping with someone fighting on the opposite side of the war,” Sirius sighs.

“I don’t want to fight on either side of this war,” Snape says softly.

Sirius sighs heavily, staring up at the ceiling, wondering how the hell he could have ended up here with Snape. Moony was his love, how could Sirius at all be compatible with Snape, they were the complete opposite of each other. With all this talk of the dark arts, there was no way Sirius could get a single minute of sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for taking the time to read this chapter!!! I appreciate all of your time, so very much! I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you all so very much! <3


	4. Apologizes are not in my DNA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape and Sirius are forced to deal with some unfortunate ramifications of their marriage, assigned by the Ministry of Magic, which forces the two of them to take a look at their lives, and more importantly their lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:: This chapter will mention Mpreg, no actual Mpreg exists, but minor mentions of how it may happen in this AU that I've created is touched upon.

One winter morning Sirius watches Snape step into the fireplace, as he leaves for work. Sirius was still put off by what he learned this past weekend, but he was even more put off by the fact that Snape was right. Snape never seemed interested in unforgivable curses, and it did appear that Snape had boundaries, albeit boundaries that Sirius wasn’t quite sure of yet, but Sirius just couldn’t see how that made it any better, to study dark arts.

The next thing he knows an owl comes down the chimney dropping a letter onto Sirius’s lap, before flying back through the chimney. Sirius sighs, opening the letter.

_Dear Mr. Black,_

_As per Public informational decree No.19 You are expected to file legal conception of a child within 18 months of your marriage, which according to our records was the 3 rd of June 1978. As it is December 3rd, 1978, the Ministry of Magic will need to see you and your spouse, to provide you additional information and resources to aid in the conception of your child. You are expected at 9 am at the Public Information Services Office tomorrow, 4th of December 1978. _

_Best Wishes,_

_Bridgette Belle_

_Public Information Services Office, Ministry of Magic_

Sirius stares at the letter, he couldn’t believe this. This was the last thing he wanted. They couldn’t do this to him, he wouldn’t have it. He needed to talk to Snape right away. But he wouldn’t be home for hours. Sirius couldn’t wait that long; he was just going to have to go to the Ministry and talk to him.

Sirius steps into the fireplace, arriving at the Ministry a minute later. Sirius steps out of the Floo, looking around for a moment, seeing all these people put him in an even worse mood for some reason. Sirius walks up to the security desk.

“What is your business here?” The security witch asks.

“I need to speak to Severus Snape,” Sirius says.

“Your name?” She asks.

“Sirius Black,” he murmurs.

“Your wand please,” She says, and Sirius places his wand in the weigher.

“Right,” the witch says, “and do you know where you’re heading?”

“Err- the Department of Experimental Magic,” Sirius says.

“You make take your wand Mr. Black,” she says, “you’ll be going to level three for the Department of Experimental Magic,” she says handing Sirius a visitor’s badge.

“Err- thanks,” Sirius mumbles, taking his wand, and the badge, before walking to the lift, selecting level three, before watching the door shut almost immediately, before lurching straight down five levels, stopping at three.

Sirius stumbles out of the lift, straightening himself up, before looking around, trying to figure out exactly where he needed to be. Sirius heads down one of the halls, eventually, he would end up where he needed to be.

Sirius doesn’t walk for more than a minute before he hears someone call his name from behind him.

“Sirius?” it was Snape.

Sirius turns around, to face Snape, now curious as to what he was doing wandering around the halls.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Snape asks.

“I needed to talk to you,” Sirius answers.

“About what?” Snape asks, “It couldn’t wait until I got home?”

“No, it cannot wait,” Sirius says, holding out the letter to Snape.

Snape sighs, “What is this?” he asks taking the letter from Sirius, opening it so he could read it.

“I just got this,” Sirius says.

Snape grimaces as he reads the letter, “I told you this was a thing,” he says, “I told you we weren’t going to be able to escape this,” he says looking around briefly, “I need to get back to my desk,” he murmurs.

Sirius frowns, assuming Snape was trying to blow him off, he wasn’t going to let that happen, “I want no part of this,” Sirius says, walking after Snape as he begins walking down the hall to the left, past several very old portraits.

“Well unfortunately for you,” Snape says handing the letter back, “I don’t make the laws.”

Sirius narrows his eyes at Snape, as he takes the letter back, “I’m not going through with whatever this is,” he says walking behind Snape into a large office, with multiple desks. There were only a few people in the room right now, which Sirius thought was rather curious.

Snape sighs as he sits down at his desk, opening a drawer on his desk pulling out an inkpot and a quill, “I can’t talk about this right now Sirius,” Snape says, “I have to get back to work.”

“I’m not done talking to you,” Sirius says watching Snape pull a piece of parchment from a second desk drawer.

“Well, it’s going to have to wait,” Snape says pulling a large book with a grey cover and red binding, from the corner of his desk, opening the book.

“I didn’t come all the way down here to not finish this conversation,” Sirius says.

Snape rolls his eyes, “Then maybe you should have thought about the fact that I was busy before you made a split-second decision to come all the way down here,” Snape says, “you never think before you act.”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” Sirius snaps, “This isn’t about me,” he says, “it’s about this letter.”

“Well I can’t talk about that right now,” Snape says, “I have to go back to work, so we’ll have to talk about it when I get home.”

“And who knows when that will be,” Sirius mumbles.

“The same time I always come home,” Snape rolls his eyes.

“Fine,” Sirius says, before storming off.

When Snape arrives home that evening, he was expecting to see a fairly upset Sirius, and he was not far off from that. Snape steps out of the fireplace, and before he could even begin to pull off his traveling cloak, Sirius was walking into the room, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“We need to talk now,” Sirius says.

“Can’t I even get my cloak off before you start bombarding me with insults,” Snape mutters, pulling off his cloak, setting his case down beside the desk.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sirius snaps.

“Ugly faced, big nose, always stuck in someone else’s business, robes falling off my too skinny body because I never eat, greasy hair with too many split ends, which I always keep in front of my face, so no one can ever get a proper look at me,” Snape says, turning to look at Sirius, “And that’s only the beginning.”

Sirius purses his lips looking back at Snape, “I never said that,” he mutters, suddenly aware of how horrible those things sounded.

“Can’t stand the sight of me, wouldn’t be able to keep an erection long enough to finish, let alone get started,” Snape continues, “disgusting body that looks like a skeleton with skin hanging off it.”

Sirius swallows thickly, “Well, I doubt the sight of you alone is enough to put me off,” he mumbles.

Snape sighs, “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” he says, brushing past Sirius walking into the bedroom.

“We have to talk about it now,” Sirius says, following after Snape, “We have to go to this thing tomorrow morning,” he says watching Snape hang his cloak in the closet.

“Fine,” Snape says, “Make it fast then,” he says, “I want to go to bed.”

Sirius watches Snape for a moment, before he sighs, “I said I wanted to do this right,” he mumbles sitting on the edge of the bed, “We can’t have a marriage like this.”

Snape sits down on the opposite side of the bed, not saying anything.

“We need to get to know each other more,” Sirius says suddenly, “I love Moony because he’s my best friend.”

“We’re not falling in love,” Snape says.

“Fine, forget love,” Sirius says, “We just have to like each other enough to live together, and raise a child.”

“Sex, Sirius,” Snape says, “That means we have to have sex.”

“Fine, we have to have some sex, but once it’s done, it doesn’t have to be a regular thing,” Sirius says, “just until we have a baby,” he says.

“Something you never want to have with me,” Snape says, “and I don’t want to do it with you either,” he hisses.

Sirius sighs, “Just because I say things, doesn’t mean I mean them.”

“How could you say that, and not mean it? How can you say any of the things you’ve said about me and not mean them?” Snape asks, “The stuff you’ve said to me, is some of the worst I’ve ever heard someone say to anyone.”

The room is quiet for a long moment.

“I know,” Sirius says softly, “and I can’t take it back, but just because I say those things, doesn’t make them true.”

Snape sighs before getting up, walking to his side of the closet, pulling his robes off, before pulling on a black, long-sleeved nightshirt. Snape walks back to his side of the bed; Sirius was still sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I’m going to bed,” Snape says, crawling underneath the bed sheets, pulling the sheets up over himself.

“Severus,” Sirius says softly.

“What is it?” Snape mutters, wishing Sirius would leave him alone.

“You could put your hair out of your face,” Snape says, “You’re not really ugly, you know,” he mutters.

Snape sighs, “Get out Sirius,” he says, “Just leave me alone, just go away.”

Sirius sighs, getting up off the bed, walking out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

When the alarm clock goes off in the morning Sirius groans, and quickly reaches over to turn it off.

“Get off me,” Snape hisses, pushing Sirius back to his side of the bed, “Get off Sirius,” he says as he reaches over, turning the alarm off.

“Turn that off then,” Sirius snarls.

“It’s off,” Snape says, “now move,” he growls.

Sirius sighs, rolling back to his side of the bed, rubbing his eyes.

“Why are you always touching me with that thing,” Snape says narrowing his eyes at Sirius.

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Sirius says with a yawn, “besides, after today, you’re gonna have to get used to it.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “We both know which role you like to play,” he says, getting up from the bed.

Sirius pushes himself up on the bed, “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“Please,” Snape says, “between you and Remus, there’s no question.”

“Why not?” Sirius asks, there was no way he was so obvious.

Snape dresses in a pair of black robes, with grey stitching before walking out of the closet, looking over at Sirius, “We’re going to be late if you don’t get dressed.”

“I want to know how you know,” Sirius says getting up from the bed.

Snape shrugs, “I took a guess,” he says.

“Based on what?” Sirius asks narrowing his eyes at Snape.

“Based off nothing,” Snape says, “That’s what a guess means,” he says.

“You’re lying to me,” Sirius accuses.

Snape sighs, walking out of the bedroom.

“I want to know how you really know,” Sirius says following Snape out of the bedroom.

“Fine,” Snape says turning around to face Sirius, “Last month when we were fighting, I said you liked being put in your place, and you didn’t correct me,” Snape says, “So there, you told me.”

Sirius blinks back at Snape for several moments before, “You pay that close attention to things I say?”

Snape sighs and rolls his eyes, before turning to walk away, “get dressed, or we’ll be late.”

Sirius walks out of the bedroom ten minutes later, seeing Snape eating a sliced apple.

“I want breakfast,” Sirius says watching Snape.

“I’m not cooking,” Snape says, “it’s already after 8,” Snape says, “have something quick.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and picks up an apple for himself, “Fine then,” he mutters.

It was after 8:45 when they arrive at the Ministry, and Snape has to keep reminding himself not to let Sirius get to him. Sirius was this way, he always had been, and probably always would be this way, it’s just who he was. The fact that Snape was upset over something he had said or done, was not going to change Sirius.

Snape walks inside the Public Information Services office with Sirius behind him, and he’s suddenly reminded of that horrible day in June when he was assigned Sirius Black as a spouse, and it was giving him anxiety.

Sirius walks up to the desk, Snape standing behind him, with an annoyed expression.

“Your name and appointment time,” the wizard behind the desk asks looking up from his stack of papers.

“Sirius Black, and Severus Snape,” Sirius replies, “We’re here for a nine o’clock,” he says.

The wizard runs his quill down the parchment, ticking off their names, “right,” he says, “follow me then,” he says bringing Snape and Sirius to a small office with a round table and four chairs, “Just have a seat, and a counselor will be in, in just a moment,” he says shutting the door behind him, leaving Snape and Sirius alone.

Snape looks over at Sirius, he has half a mind to say something to him, but decides against it, taking one of the empty seats, crossing his legs under the table, as they wait.

A few minutes later a witch with long blonde hair appears in the doorway, knocking softly, “Hi there,” she says entering the room, shutting the door behind her, “My name is Lucinda Reynolds, I’m going to be your counselor throughout this process,” she says before taking a seat across from Snape and Sirius.

Snape says nothing but watches her as she opens a file, and begins to read over it.

“So, it seems you’ve been married about six months now,” Lucinda says, “How’s that going?” she asks looking across the table.

Snape frowns looking over at Sirius, then back over to Lucinda, and couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

Sirius, now very clearly annoyed, rolls his eyes, and answers, “The whole thing has been a nightmare,” he starts, “He’s impossible to live with, and we can’t stand each other.”

Lucinda frowns, looking back at her charts, before looking back over at the two of them, “But you two were matched so well,” she says, “I can’t imagine why you should be having problems, especially this early on.”

Snape sighs, “We’ve known each other since we were eleven, and we’ve always hated each other, we never got on, so there really is no hope for this to be successful.”

“Well you two are shown to be extremely compatible, one of the most compatible I’ve seen in a while,” she says, “So, we’ll come back to that, however today I believe we are here to talk about your offspring,” she says glancing back at her chart, “We usually have the couple fill out an intent to conceive, and send them on their way, and check back in three months, however,” she says, “we’ve agreed to start same-sex coupling, as we were finding it difficult to continue to match opposite gender, and well…times are changing,” she says, “anyways, with our same-sex couples, we have a bit of a different procedure, the conception process can be difficult, and take longer than usual depending on the couple, so we will initially start with a potion regimen, for the both of you, and in three months if everything seems well, we revisit with each other, and a matron and at that time we supply a second potion treatment for one of you, and we give it about three more months before we ask that you try to conceive more often.”

“What are the adverse side effects?” Snape asks interrupting her.

“Well really we’re looking for certain things to happen, and if they’re not happening then your body just isn’t meant to have children,” she says.

“What sort of things are supposed to happen?” Snape asks.

“Well, I’m not a healer, so I’m not exactly sure, but we have the matron come on at that point, and they’re looking for certain genetic markers.”

“You’re altering our DNA?” Snape and Sirius say at the same time with an equal amount of shock.

Snape glares over at Sirius, before turning back to Lucinda, “You can’t do that.”

“Well, actually,” she says, “we can, and we will,” Lucinda continues, “we keep an eye on the status, and have healers and matrons on hand at all times to deal with any complications that may arise, but anyway it’s only temporary, you don’t notice any changes in your everyday life,” she says.

“Except a pregnancy,” Snape says.

“Well, yes, that is the goal,” Lucinda says, “Once the child is born, everything goes back to normal,” she says, “genetics and all, we’ve been testing this for several years now, it’s perfectly safe.”

“Perfectly safe when you’re not the one having to take them,” Sirius says.

Lucinda clears her throat, “Actually, my wife and I took them last year, and we have a daughter now,” she says, looking across the table at Sirius, “But this really isn’t about me,” she says.

“I don’t agree with this,” Sirius says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It doesn’t matter if you agree or not,” Lucinda says, “It’s the law, Public Informational Decree number 19 and 20, Public Informational Decree number 20 is the one that gives the ministry the right to give you treatment to aide in the conception of a child.”

“We didn’t ask for a child,” Sirius says.

“Public Informational Decree number 19 states all married individuals must conceive a child, to stimulate the wizarding population,” Lucinda states.

“We didn’t ask to be married,” Snape says next.

Lucinda turns her gaze to Snape, “Public Informational Decree number 17 states that all witches and wizards born on, or after January first, 1955, will be assigned a spouse, to aide in the dwindling wizarding population.”

“Free will is just an illusion,” Sirius says.

“Indeed, it is Mr. Black,” Lucinda says turning back to him, “Now, I’ll bring your potions, and we’ll see you back in three months.”

“I think you’re forgetting something,” Sirius says.

Lucinda frowns, “What?” she asks looking down at her chart.

“We don’t want to have sex with each other,” Sirius says.

Lucinda looks at Sirius, then over at Snape, “You have yet to consummate the marriage?” she asks, “In six months?”

“I don’t want to have sex with him,” Snape and Sirius say at the same time.

“No wonder you assume you’re so incompatible,” Lucinda says, “You’re not trying to make this marriage work,” she says, “marriage is communication, and you two are not communicating,” she says, “Have you made any effort to try and understand who your spouse is?” she asks.

“I know, he’s a bully whom I don’t want to sleep with,” Snape says.

“Mr. Snape, people change as we get older, just because he was that person, doesn’t mean he still is,” Lucinda says softly, “and you two need to explore who your spouse is now, and not dwelling on who they used to be,” she says, before glancing down at her chart again, “I think you two might benefit from a home visit from our counselors, I would gladly take on the-“

“No,” Snape says firmly, “we are not inviting you into our home, to tell us how to define, our relationship, if we wanted your help we would ask for it, and we don’t want you in our home.”

Sirius looks over at Snape, mildly surprised by the outburst. He did not want her in their home either, but he probably wouldn’t have been as adamant about it as Snape was being right now.

“Right,” Lucinda says clearing her throat, “Well it appears I’ve overstepped-“

“You have,” Snape says narrowing his eyes at her, “bring us the potion, so we can leave, or we’ll leave without it.”

Lucinda does not say anything else, but gathers her chart, and steps into the hall, returning a moment later with two vials of a blue potion.

Snape gets up taking both potions from her, “we’ll expect your owl in three months then,” Snape says, as he walks out of the room.

Sirius stares in bewilderment as Snape exits the room, before remembering that he has to go with him. Sirius gets up following Snape out, deciding now was not a good time to say anything to him, so he follows quietly.

When they arrive back at their flat, Snape sits down at his desk, beginning to examine the potion under a bright light, before pulling down one of his potion books from the shelf.

“Snape,” Sirius says softly, as not to frighten him.

“Hmm,” Snape mumbles, trying to figure out how he could find out what went into this potion.

“Severus,” Sirius says walking over to the desk.

Snape looks up at Sirius, wondering why he was standing right beside him, “You’re blocking the light,” he says.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Sirius asks, “That was so bizarre, even for you,” he says.

Snape looks at Sirius, “Yeah, well, she reminded me of you and James,” Snape says, “forcing me to do things I don’t want to,” he says, “and I’m not drinking this without knowing what’s in it,” he says.

Sirius looks at Snape, wondering when he’d tried to force Snape to drink something he hadn’t wanted to, and he remembered the time he poured hiccough syrup into his tea and remembered the time James utterly humiliated him in front of the school, and Sirius sighs, starting to wonder how he had allowed himself to be such an arse.

“Snape,” Sirius sighs softly.

“Just let me do this,” Snape says.

“Fine,” Sirius says, backing off.

Sirius doesn’t say anything, as to interrupt Snape, but watches him inspect the potion. Snape had poured a small amount into a bowl, and Sirius watched as Snape performed several incantations, and the potion began to separate colors. Sirius found himself fascinated by this process, mostly fascinated that Snape could do something this impressive.

Snape looks up, “Can I help you with something?” he asks.

Sirius hadn’t even noticed that he had gotten out of his chair, he had apparently wanted a closer look than he had thought, “No, sorry,” Sirius mumbles, clearing his throat.

“You’re blocking the light again,” Snape says.

“Right,” Sirius says, taking a step back, “Sorry.”

Snape looks down at the potion in his bowl, “I’ve finished anyway,” he says.

Sirius frowns, “You’re finished?” he asks.

Snape sighs, “Yeah, it’s mostly magnesium and iron,” he says, “I assume the iron to break down the blood cells, and change the genetic makeup to whatever they’re looking for,” Snape says, “There’s mineral water in here, which appears to be charmed with whatever it is they’re trying to infuse into our DNA,” he says, “There are sensory charms in here as well, but without knowing exactly what they’re trying to produce or replicate, it’s hard to really tell.”

Sirius had absolutely no idea what the hell Snape was talking about, “It doesn’t sound dangerous,” he says cautiously.

“The charms I could reveal all have simple counter charms, easily reversible,” Snape says, “Nothing in here looks poisonous, but I’m still uncomfortable with the altering of our DNA,” he says, “but even that seems like it will revert as soon as you’re no longer on the regimen,” he says, “like one of those things that’s only effective if taken consistently, so I think you’re right, it’s probably not dangerous.”

Snape decides he wants to take a nap, he needed to think, and he always made better decisions after resting his mind.

“Where are you going?” Sirius asks watching Snape getting up.

“I need to think,” Snape says, “I’m going to bed.”

Sirius frowns, “You’re going to bed to think?”

“What do you want?” Snape asks.

“What are we going to do about the potions?” Sirius asks.

Snape shrugs, “I suppose we’ll drink them tomorrow,” he says, “I’m going to ask one of the alchemists how it’s made when I go to work tomorrow.”

“Alchemist?” Sirius asks.

“It’s not a normal potion,” Snape says, “It’s been enchanted, and parts of it stripped to basic elements, if that’s not alchemy at play, I don’t know what is.”

“Okay, you’ve lost me again,” Sirius says, “I thought you were going to bed?”

“It helps me think to sleep,” he says, “and I have a lot to think about.”

Sirius frowns again, “Like what?”

Snape glares back at Sirius, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that we’re expected to alter our DNA and have sex, one of us, will end up pregnant, and we’re expected to raise this child together, for the rest of our lives,” he says, “Not to mention we’re supposed to be matched so perfectly for each other, but I can’t stand the mere sight of you,” Snape says, “It’s unnerving.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Whatever,” he says.

Snape gets up, setting the potion bottles on the coffee table when Sirius walks up behind him.

“Don’t do that,” Snape hisses, stepping away from Sirius.

“How did we even end up matched?” Sirius asks, “they asked me if I had a sexual preference when I went in,” he says.

“So what?” Snape says, “it’s the same questions they asked me, surely.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Sirius says, “I’ve never known you to be anything but straight.”

Snape looks over at Sirius, “Well you don’t know me very well at all,” he says sitting down on the sofa, crossing his legs.

“So, you are gay then,” Sirius says, but Snape was sure it was a question.

Snape watches Sirius for several moments before he answers, “I have no preference.”

“That’s interesting,” Sirius says.

“Why?” Snape asks.

“Because you rarely seem interested in anyone,” Sirius says, “Aside from Lily that is.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “Well I do happen to like some people.”

“Just not me,” Sirius smirks.

Snape narrows his eyes at Sirius, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to see how you really feel about me,” Sirius answers.

“And you insist on entrapments, and trickery rather than trying to have a conversation with me,” Snape says as if it were fact.

“How have I entrapped you?” Sirius asks rolling his eyes.

Snape looks at Sirius, “This isn’t something I asked for Sirius,” Snape says, “I never wanted any of this, I never wanted to be married to you, I never wanted to be forced to have children with you, and I certainly never asked for this rivalry between us,” he says, “I have played my part in pranks as a child, swapping your mineral water with gillywater, slipping dragon bile into your bag at lunch, adding dried nettles to James’s pumpkin juice, spilling a vial of Lethe River Water on the floor and watching James slip and fall in the hall for everyone to see,” Snape continues, “I’m not saying I’m by any means innocent in the rivalry between us, but I have done absolutely nothing to warrant whatever is happening between us right now. I have even had to try to forgive you for what to me is the most heinous act ever done to me, and every night when I get into bed, I still see a wicked smile on your lips and the horrified expression on James’s face,” he says, “and sometimes it keeps me up at night knowing that the person who did that is sleeping beside me, but I did nothing to deserve that from you.”

Sirius looks at Snape, and immediately feels the need to defend himself and his actions, even if he can’t, “You know what you did to deserve that,” Sirius says, “Don’t make me repeat it.”

“The single most regrettable thing in my life,” Snape says, “and that’s how you chose to deal with your anger over the situation,” he says, “by giving me another reason to relive the most horrible thing I’ve ever done in my life,” he continues, “I’ve never done anything to warrant that constant reminder, and I’ve never done anything since then to warrant the continued torment you continually put me through. As you know, I can’t take back what was said that day,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “But you certainly can’t take back what the two of you did that day, and what you’ve continued to do, and say to me every day since then. I can’t change you, I can’t make you stop saying horrible things to me, and I certainly can’t make you any less of a hurtful person, what I can, and must do, is learn to accept the things in my life, even if I don’t agree with them,” Snape murmurs, “that includes marrying you, having and raising children, and living the rest of my life with you,” he says looking over at Sirius, “I do know, however, that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life unhappy, so I suppose I’ll have to find at least one thing every day to continue living for.”

Sirius watches Snape, he cannot think of a single thing to say, so he settles for staying quiet, for once in his life.

After several long minutes, Snape rises from the sofa, “I think I’ll take that nap now,” he murmurs.

Sirius isn’t sure exactly, what made him get up and follow Snape to the bedroom, but he can’t seem to stop himself, and he can’t explain why he suddenly feels the need to justify himself but knowing that there is no justification.

“What is it, Sirius?” Snape asks, lying down on his side of the bed, trying his best to clear his head, so he can get some rest.

Sirius stares at Snape and suddenly, he can’t stop himself, no matter how much he wants to, “I keep the second bedroom sealed because I keep hoping that one day Regulus will say he’s changed his mind, and he’s done with our parents, and come to stay with me,” he says, “I know it’s ridiculous, I know he’s made up his mind, but I don’t think it’s too late for redemption, and he’s my little brother no matter how much I hate what he’s doing, I still care about him and-“ Sirius stops himself, “It’s his room, if he ever wants it, though I know deep down, he’ll never come.”

Snape isn’t sure what to say to this, he’s surprised. Surprised that Sirius cared this much for his brother, even though it appeared he wanted nothing to do with his brother. Moreover, Snape knows for a fact that Regulus was now a Death Eater, and he didn’t think that was something Sirius could stand to know, even if he had his suspicions. In the same way, Snape knew that finding out he was a Death Eater, would have consequences, and Snape wasn’t sure how much longer he could hide this from Sirius.

“I know that it’s not an apology,” Sirius says, “but I hear you,” he says looking over at Snape, “I hear what you’re saying, and I’ll get there,” he says, “I just need time. I know I should just be able to say sorry for the horrible things I did, and said, but I’m not there yet, there’s too much history between us, and I just can’t yet,” Sirius continues, “However, if you’re willing to accept that, I’m trying, I’m willing to accept that you’re not who you were when those words got said, and I’m willing to start this marriage over, with no past feelings brought to the table.”

Snape looks at Sirius, it’s definitely not what he had expected, but he thinks that maybe he could accept that. Snape did want an apology, but he may never get one, and he either had to accept that fact, and move on, or continue being miserable.

“I’m going to really try,” Sirius says looking at Snape, “I will get there,” he says.

“Okay,” Snape says after another moment of silence, “Let’s start over then,” he sighs heavily, realizing that he still has so much of his own resentment to try to push through, “But I can’t do it without an acknowledgment of what you’ve done,” he says.

Sirius frowns, “What?”

“I need you to acknowledge what you did to me,” Snape says, “If I don’t ask you to acknowledge it, I feel like I’m letting you get away with something, and what you did was not okay,” he continues, “Just like what I said wasn’t okay, and I have taken responsibility and talked to Lily about it, and I live with the guilt every day over ruining a friendship, I just need you to acknowledge what you’ve done.”

“We could be here a while,” Sirius mumbles.

“I feel like I’m giving in, and letting you win, if I go along with this, and don’t make you at least acknowledge what you’ve done.”

Sirius sighs, “Okay,” he says, maybe acknowledging what he’d done would make it easier to apologize for, “I’ve done some horrible things,” Sirius says glancing over at Snape, “including name-calling, body shaming, and playing pranks, some of which could have had consequences I would have regretted for the rest of my life,” Sirius says, “I know I can’t make up for any of these things, but I am from this day on, going to make an effort to treat you with respect, and not only as my marriage partner, but as a person who deserves respect,” Sirius says finding it easier than he thought to get the words out, “I can’t change the past, but I want to change the future, we’re in this together whether we like it or not,” Sirius sighs heavily.

Snape sighs softly, “I appreciate that,” he says, “and I am also going to make an effort to see you as not only my marriage partner but a person whom I’m spending the rest of my life,” he says, hating how the words sounded coming out of his mouth, more so, hating that he had to say these words.

Sirius swallows thickly, before sitting down on the edge of the bed, “Well, I told you my secret, I think it’s only fair you tell me yours now,” he says.

Snape frowns, he didn’t have any secrets that he could think of. None that he could openly say without putting himself, or Sirius in danger.

“Uh,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “I uh,” Snape sighs, “My father wasn’t a very nice person,” he says, “when I was younger, he would get into fights with my mother all the time,” he says, “my mum taught me to cook because the abuse took its toll on her, and sometimes she was in no state to care for me, so I made, and ate a lot of soup, easy stuff, you can’t mess up,” he murmurs, “When I was very young sometimes my mother couldn’t so much as lift me into the bath, so I would go days maybe a week, without a bath,” Snape sighs.

“Your father hit your mother?” Sirius asks, looking shocked.

“I never saw my father hit my mother,” Snape says, “I saw my father get angry with my mother, and the verbal abuse was worse in a way, I think,” he says, “my mother developed poor self-worth from the abuse and had difficulty caring for me at times, but she did the best she could,” Snape murmurs, “She’s insisted over the years, he’s gotten much better, and isn’t abusive anymore, they didn’t fight when I saw them last on holiday, so maybe it’s true.”

Sirius watches Snape, unsure of what to say to this, “I never knew,” he says.

“Well, I wasn’t going to tell you about it, when you were bullying me in between classes,” Snape says.

Sirius sighs, looking away for a moment, before looking back over at him, “Did you know Regulus?” he asks suddenly.

Snape has half the mind to tell Sirius to leave him alone, but he could tell that Sirius was being genuinely vulnerable, and he thinks better of this thought, “Yeah,” he says softly, pulling his knees up to his chest, sitting up on the bed.

“I’m pretty sure he’s gone with the Death Eaters, “Sirius murmurs, moving to sit on the bed.

Snape swallows thickly, he didn’t want to lie to Sirius, but he definitely did not want to tell him that his suspicions were true.

“I don’t want to fight against my brother in this war,” Sirius says.

Snape watches Sirius for another moment before, “I think more than anything, Regulus wanted to fit in, and when he wasn’t sorted into Gryffindor like you, he had to conform to certain things, even if it’s not what he really wanted, I think more than anything Regulus didn’t want to be the odd one out.”

“My brother had lots of friends, star of the Quidditch team, Slughorn’s favorite,” Sirius says.

“He wasn’t always like that,” Snape says, “he made friends after he got on the Quidditch team, before then he was one of the odd ones out, as I was,” he murmurs, “but he became friends with his teammates, and then became part of the Slug Club,” he says, “and he started making lots of friends, but I think it was more so that he didn’t have to be alone, not so much that he wanted to be around those people, I think given his choice, he would have probably chosen different friends, but being in Slytherin house, you’re expected to be seen a certain way.”

“You’re expected to be a pureblood supremacist,” Sirius grimaces.

Snape nods slowly, “Yes,” he says, “Those who don’t agree with that…well during these times, you never say that aloud.”

Sirius frowns, “What do you mean?” he asks, “Are you saying you don’t believe in pureblood supremacy?”

Snape looks at Sirius, he didn’t know how to say it, “I don’t hate my family lineage,” he murmurs.

Sirius frowns, “Your father,” he mumbles.

“I don’t agree with things my father did, or how he treated my mother, but I’m not ashamed of who he is,” Snape says, “being ashamed of his behavior however is something else completely, now please can we stop talking about this,” Snape sighs, suddenly wondering if he was imagining the itch he was feeling on his forearm.

Sirius frowns, “I thought we were having a pleasant conversation.”

“Let’s just talk about anything other than blood purity,” Snape mumbles.

“Why? Because of Lily?” Sirius asks.

“No,” Snape says, “I just don’t want to talk about that,” he says, “pick anything else to talk about please,” he sighs.

Sirius looks over at Snape, “We can’t escape the war you know,” he says, “It’s all around us, especially now.”

Snape sighs, “It’s a lot Sirius,” he says, “can we just give it a rest for a while.”

Sirius sighs, “fine,” he says.

“I could do with some quiet, actually,” Snape says softly.

Sirius frowns, “but I need to talk about things,” Sirius says.

“What things?” Snape asks.

“It’s how I process,” Sirius says, “Moony always said if I didn’t say what was on my mind, I had a habit of exploding,” he says.

Just what Snape needed, he wanted quiet to process, but Sirius needed to talk it out, he was starting to think they weren’t compatible at all.

“Okay,” Snape says, “What do you need to talk about?”

Sirius watches Snape, he can tell that Snape was uncomfortable, he could see it by his body language, and by the look on his face, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with this. Snape was clearly uncomfortable but was willing to remain uncomfortable just because Sirius needed to continue to vent, this was strange to Sirius, and he didn’t know how to respond to it.

Snape and Sirius spend the rest of the day back and forth between long periods of silence, and long periods of mostly Sirius talking, with Snape agreeing or disagreeing in between Sirius talking. Snape does not get to take a nap as he wanted. Sirius talks the entire time Snape made dinner. Snape put an effort into dinner tonight, cooking Shepard’s pie, which Sirius was surprised to say was one of the best he’s had in a while.

Sirius writes a letter to Remus, that night after dinner, while Snape takes a shower. Sirius ties the letter to Dot’s leg, glancing over his shoulder when he hears Snape emerge from the bathroom.

“See you tomorrow,” Sirius says gently stroking his feathers, before watching Dot take off through the open window.

Sirius closes the window before heading to bed. Sirius begins to undress, changing into his pajamas. Snape is very aware of Sirius, as he slips into bed, trying not to look at him.

“I guess you’re going back to work tomorrow,” Sirius says looking over at Snape.

“Uh, yeah,” Snape says, pulling the blankets up over himself.

“Are you cold?” Sirius asks.

Snape nods, “I don’t retain much body heat,” he mumbles.

Sirius laughs lightly, “That was funny,” he says, walking into the closet, bringing out a large red blanket, laying it on the bed, “that should help,” he says.

Snape looks over at Sirius, “Thank you,” he says quietly, watching as Sirius crawls into bed, under the blankets.

The fact that it didn’t pain him to be civil with Snape, took Sirius by surprise, he’d always seen being nice to him, as pulling teeth, but maybe he was wrong the whole time. Snape is glad for the silence, his mind finally getting a chance to process everything from the day. Snape fell asleep the moment the lights went out, and Sirius was aware of the gentle breathing which meant Snape was asleep, but Sirius couldn’t seem to fall asleep, lying awake for hours, his brain refusing to turn off until the sun starts to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for taking the time to read this!!! I appreciate you all so very much!!! <3


	5. Secrets of a Death Eater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape's biggest secret is holding him back from embracing his marriage with Sirius, and Sirius knows something is going on but isn't sure what until he finally sees with his own eyes the thing he'd been dreading for years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:: once again there are mentions of Mpreg in this chapter, no actual Mpreg exists. Mentions of weird biology and weird magics.

Snape sighs heavily, as he reaches over, turning off the alarm clock. He was exhausted it was seven in the morning, and he had gotten home late last night. It was after two in the morning when Snape returned home, telling Sirius he had to work late. Snape was sure the knot he felt in his stomach was from what he’d actually been doing last night, rather than the horrible thing he was about to do this morning.

Sirius sighs grumpily, “Why did you have to come home so late last night?” he mutters, sitting up on the bed.

“It couldn’t be helped,” Snape mutters, “I couldn’t leave.”

“What the fuck could have been that important with your molecules,” Sirius grumbles.

Snape sighs, “I said I’m sorry,” he says, “It couldn’t be helped.”

“I’m staying out late this weekend then,” Sirius says glaring over at Snape.

“Fine,” Snape snaps, getting up from the bed, walking into the closet, pulling down a set of robes.

They recently found out one of the magical properties of the ring they both had to wear, was that it kept the other in a constant state of discomfort if they were apart during the night, and because Snape hadn’t come home until after two in the morning, Sirius couldn’t sleep, no matter how tired he was.

“You don’t get to be mad at me,” Sirius says storming into the closet, where Snape was getting dressed.

“What the fuck,” Snape hisses, quickly pulling his robes on, clutching them closed around him, as he turns away from Sirius, “I’m getting dressed,” he says glaring over his shoulder at Sirius.

“So, what,” Sirius snaps, “You know exactly what they’re going to say today anyway, it’s time to start making babies,” he says rolling his eyes.

“Fuck you,” Snape says glaring over at Sirius.

“Yeah, right after we get back,” Sirius says, pulling on a pair of trousers.

Snape rolls his eyes, leaving the room to finish getting dressed in private.

Sirius only started to come out of his foul mood after they arrived at the Ministry because it meant that they were closer to being able to go home, so he could go back to bed.

“You look like hell,” Sirius says, sitting down beside Snape, as they wait for their appointment.

Snape wants to retort back with a witty comeback, about how he only spent all day and night working, but he thinks better of it, “I’m just tired,” Snape murmurs, “I’m fine.”

Sirius looks over at Snape, really looking at him properly for the first time today, “You look ill,” Sirius says, “pale, paler than usual I mean,” he says, “And your eyes,” the whites of Snape’s eyes were completely bloodshot.

“I’m fine,” Snape mutters, wishing he had put a few drops of restoration potion in his eyes this morning.

“You look really ill,” Sirius says.

“Sirius,” Snape says glancing over at him.

“Yeah?” Sirius replies.

“Please stop,” Snape mumbles, “I can’t deal with this right now, I need to focus,” he says.

“Focus on what?” Sirius asks.

“Just stop talking please,” Snape sighs.

Before Sirius could reply Lucinda Reynolds calls them back to the same small office, they visited in the last time they were here.

“How nice to see you two again,” Lucinda says pleasantly, “Please have a seat,” she says gesturing to the table.

Snape sits down crossing his legs under the table, as Sirius sits beside him.

“We’ll be joined shortly by one of our matrons, but first I must get a sample from you both,” Lucinda says.

“Sample of what?” Snape asks.

“Your blood,” she replies, “It’ll only take a moment,” Lucinda says approaching the two men, with a pair of needles.

“Is this necessary?” Sirius asks, watching as she approaches Snape first to draw his blood.

“Of course,” Lucinda says, taking the vial away a moment later, mending Snape’s minor injury with a spell, before turning to Sirius.

Sirius swallows thickly, “I- uh,” he stammers, “I don’t do well with needles,” he admits.

Snape thought this was ridiculous, but he says nothing.

“It will only take a moment, Mr. Black,” Lucinda says, “you won’t feel a thing.”

Sirius sighs, looking away, “Go on then, make it quick,” he mumbles, before Lucinda takes a small sample of his blood.

“There,” she says, before mending the minor injury, “not so bad,” she says, “now, I’ll be back in one moment,” she says excusing herself from the room.

Snape looks over at Sirius, “Needles are your thing?” he asks.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Shut up,” he mutters.

“Right then,” Lucinda says taking a seat, “Our Matron will be in shortly with the results,” she says looking over at Snape, then to Sirius, “so tell me, how have things been at home?”

“Fine,” Snape says, looking over at her.

“Great,” Lucinda says, looking down at her chart, “I take it that means you two have been bonding?”

Snape glares over at her but doesn’t respond, and Sirius takes a hint and says nothing as well.

“Right,” she mutters, “well um, you’re about to go through quite a few changes in your relationship, a child is something that can test any marriage.”

“It’s not like we’re able to get divorced,” Snape says, “So what’s the point of this?”

“We just want you to be prepared for what can come next,” she says.

“Yeah, one of us will get pregnant, we’re fully aware of how this works,” Snape says.

A knock on the door saves Lucinda from having to say anything else regarding the subject, “Come in,” she calls.

An older, ginger-haired witch walks inside, shutting the door behind her, “Hello, my name is Cara,” she says with a thick Irish accent, “I’m your Matron, I’ve just got the results of the samples here,” she continues, “both, look clear to proceed with the procedure,” she says, “one of you will continue this daily potion routine, we’ll want to look at your vitals again in three months, but you’re both incredibly healthy, and should see just fine results.”

“Lovely,” Lucinda says, as Cara sets down a vial a purple potion on the table.

“Any other questions, concerns, or complications, I can be reached at any time,” Cara says giving them both a gentle smile.

Snape doesn’t want to ask any questions, he just wants to leave, but Sirius’s curiosity gets the better of him.

“What exactly is this supposed to do?” Sirius asks.

“It will help you conceive, for starters,” Cara says, “and once the conception is made, it will help bring a child to term,” she says, “we may adjust potions during that time, but we’ll evaluate that after pregnancy is confirmed.”

“So, we just drink this, and wait then,” Sirius says.

“Well, there’s some effort expected on your part,” Lucinda says.

“Yeah, we get it, we have to have sex,” Sirius says rolling his eyes.

“Yes, it’s really as simple as that,” Cara says.

Really simple, Snape thinks to himself, “Are we done here then?” Snape asks.

Sirius looks over at Snape, wanting to call him out for being rude, but instead, he says nothing else.

“If there are no more questions, yes,” Cara says.

Lucinda clears her throat, “We’ll check on the progress in three months,” she says.

“We’ll expect your owl,” Snape says, getting up, taking the potion off the table, looking over at Sirius.

“Oh,” Sirius says a moment later, getting up quickly, before following Snape out once more.

“What the hell was that about this time?” Sirius asks when they arrive back at their flat.

“I don’t want to do this,” Snape says simply, setting the potion on the table, walking into the bedroom.

“We’re getting along,” Sirius says, following Snape.

“So, what,” Snape says, “Just because we get along, doesn’t mean I suddenly want to have sex with you,” he says, “I don’t want to.”

Sirius watches Snape walk into the closet, and emerges a moment later wearing a long sleeve black nightshirt, “You’re going to bed?” he asks.

“I’m tired,” Snape says, slipping under the blankets.

“And you don’t want to have sex?” Sirius asks.

Snape glares over at Sirius, he had made himself very clear.

“I mean, just to get it over with,” Sirius says.

“No,” Snape snaps, “I said I don’t want to have sex with you,” he says firmly, “and definitely not _just to get it over with_ ,” he snarls.

“Fine,” Sirius mutters, “Bed then.”

“And don’t fucking touch me,” Snape growls, pulling the blankets over himself, trying to stay as far away from Sirius as he possibly could at this moment.

“You said no,” Sirius says, “I’m not just going to try anything.”

Snape sighs, “Go to bed Sirius.”

Sirius thinks about telling Snape that he didn’t really find him repulsive to look at but thinks this might make things worse, so instead, he turns over on the bed and closes his eyes.

One month later, Snape still has not let Sirius touch him, and at this point, Sirius was starting to get suspicious. He wasn’t thrilled to be forced into having sex with Snape, but the thought didn’t make him ill anymore. He was actually quite curious as to what it might be like, and Sirius starts wondering if there was something he could do or say to get Snape to start thinking the same way he was.

Sirius was standing in the kitchen thinking maybe if he made dinner for Snape, it might move things in the right direction. Sirius pulls out a sack of potatoes and begins to cut them with a spell, just before Dot comes inside the window, landing on the table with a soft hoot.

Sirius smiles, turning around, before pulling the letter off Dot’s leg, beginning to read.

_Sirius,_

_I have a late meeting, I won’t be home before midnight, have dinner without me._

_Sorry,_

_Severus_

This was the third time in the last month that Snape had to work late. Sirius wasn’t having it. He was honestly trying to put a real effort into this marriage, and he couldn’t do it like this, he needed his husband to come home in order or them to work on their relationship.

Sirius grabs his cloak, walking over to the fireplace as he takes a handful of Floo powder.

After arriving at the Ministry, and going through the security process, Sirius takes the lift to level three and begins walking down the corridor, stopping at the door to the Department of Experimental Magic. Sirius glances down at his watch, it was nearly seven, but the halls seemed surprisingly empty. Sirius steps inside the office and is greeted by a brunette-haired wizard, who looked no older than himself.

“How can I help you sir?” the receptionist asks.

“Uh, I need to speak to Severus Snape,” Sirius replies.

“Oh, he’s unavailable,” the young wizard says looking up at Sirius, “Can I take a message? I’ll pass it to him first thing in the morning.”

“Look, I know he’s in a meeting or whatever, but I need to speak to him for a moment,” Sirius says.

The receptionist looks confused for a moment, “Mr. Snape isn’t in the office,” he says, “he’s left for the day, he won’t be back until tomorrow morning, but I’ll pass him your message-“

“He’s my husband,” Sirius snaps, “I don’t need you to pass him a message, I could tell him myself,” he says frustratedly, before storming out of the office.

Snape had lied to him. Why had Snape lied to him? What the hell was he actually doing? A hundred other questions entered Sirius’s mind, as he returns home.

When Snape arrives home, it’s well after midnight, going on one in the morning, and Snape had expected Sirius to be upset with him, what he did not expect was for Sirius to be so visibly angry with him.

“Where the hell have you been?” Sirius asks, jumping up from the sofa, the moment Snape steps out of the fireplace.

“I had to work,” Snape says.

“I went to your office,” Sirius says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You what?” Snape asks looking over at him.

“You heard me,” Sirius says, “Now where have you been, the truth this time,” he says.

Snape didn’t see a way out of this, Sirius had caught him in his lie, and he didn’t exactly want to keep telling it. But Snape knew that he could not get Sirius involved, so he had to come up with something else to tell him.

“I had a meeting, of course, I wasn’t in my office,” Snape murmurs, “I couldn’t have a meeting in my cubicle.”

Sirius looks at Snape, “Stop lying,” he says angrily.

“Why are you so paranoid?” Snape asks.

“Because you’ve given me eight years of suspicious behavior to go off of,” Sirius says quickly, “Now, where were you?” he presses.

Snape couldn’t tell Sirius the truth, he couldn’t.

“I’m going to bed,” Snape mutters, brushing past Sirius.

“I’m talking to you,” Sirius says raising his voice.

Snape sighs, “Yelling at me, isn’t going to suddenly get answers out of me,” he says walking into the bedroom.

“Stop right there,” Sirius says, pointing his wand at Snape.

“Sirius, what have you done?” Snape asks when he suddenly can’t move his feet.

“You’re going to tell me right now, where you’ve been, and what you’ve been doing,” Sirius says, “Or I’m not reversing the spell.”

Snape glares at Sirius, “You will reverse it,” he says, “Now,” Snape growls, in a way Sirius had never seen before.

Sirius watches Snape, “Who are you?” he mumbles, taking a deep breath before reversing the spell.

“You can’t just use magic to make me do something,” Snape says, “Has it ever occurred to you that I was doing something for your safety?”

“My Safety?” Sirius says, “I don’t need protecting,” he says.

“Yes, you do,” Snape says turning to look at Sirius, “You have no idea what’s going on out there.”

“And you do?” Sirius replies, “You work with experimental magic, if anyone is oblivious to what’s going on in the world, it’s you.”

“Accept the fact that some things are for your own good,” Snape says, before walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Sirius stares at the closed door for a minute, before pointing his wand at the door, unlocking the door, walking into the bathroom, “we’re not done talking,” Sirius announces.

“Get out,” Snape hisses, pulling his dressing gown around his body.

Sirius stares back at Snape, he is at a loss for words, but he manages to find some words, “What is wrong with you,” he says, staring blankly.

“Sirius-“

“So this must be the reason you never wanted me to touch you, or look at you, or see you without anything on,” Sirius says, “You can’t hide that anymore, how long did you really think you could hide being a Death Eater,” Sirius screams, throwing various items off the bathroom counter.

“You don’t-“

“Understand?!” Sirius screams, “You’re damn right I don’t understand,” he says loudly, “Merlin, I’m married to a Death Eater!” he cries.

Snape ties closed his dressing gown, crossing his arms over his chest, watching as Sirius continues to fret.

“That’s where you were tonight!” Sirius cries, “With the Death Eaters,” he says, “Tell me!”

Snape looks at Sirius, “I can’t say,” he murmurs.

“Tell me the truth, Severus!”

“I can’t,” Snape says raising his voice for the first time, Sirius could ever recall.

Sirius looks back at Snape, stunned silent.

“I don’t know where we were,” Snape says lowering his voice, “we were transported by portkey, and I don’t know any of the people who were there tonight, I’d never seen them before.”

“Why would you get involved with this?” Sirius asks, “Why would you go along with this?”

“I didn’t have a lot of choices,” Snape says.

“You always have choices,” Sirius says, “Believe me, I’ve heard you say that more times than not.”

“My choices were, join, and live another day, or decline, be labeled a blood traitor, and die before I graduated school,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “and a Slytherin has a very high sense of self-preservation.”

“Bullshit,” Sirius says.

“You don’t know anything about Death Eaters,” Snape says, “They’re ruthless,” he says, “especially those following blindly,” he continues, “I’m not about to jeopardize my safety or yours just to try to escape, and fail and die,” Snape says, “No, I’m going to continue following along, and hopefully it’s enough to stay safe.”

“We can fight this!” Sirius says, “That’s what the resistance is about!”

“Sirius, stop it,” Snape says, “I’m in this whether I like it or not,” he says, “I have the mark, I can’t change that.”

“Fight back!” Sirius cries.

“There’s a time and place Sirius,” Snape says, “and there’s a right and wrong way to go about this,” he insists, “and I don’t want to die,” he mutters, “I’m just eighteen.”

“I’m eighteen!” Sirius cries, “and ready to lay my life for this war!”

“No, you’re not,” Snape says, “You only think you are.”

“Don’t tell me what I’m ready for, and what I’m not ready for,” Sirius snarls.

“You’re not even ready to have kids!”

“Neither are you!” Sirius fires back.

“That’s my point,” Snape says, “we’re too young to give up our lives for things we don’t believe in.”

“I believe in the resistance,” Sirius says.

“Well I don’t believe pure blood is superior,” Snape says looking back at Sirius, “And I’m not the only one caught up in this, who doesn’t want to be there.”

Sirius frowns, “What do you mean?” he asks.

“Just what I said,” Snape murmurs, “This is a cause only a few _truly_ believe in,” he says, “and even fewer willing to lay down their lives for, but once you’re in, there’s no way out, no way but death.”

“That’s insane,” Sirius says, “without followers, Voldemort would be nothing, with no one to push his agenda-“

“He will always have followers,” Snape hisses, “Weren’t you listening to me,” he says.

“Yes,” Sirius says, “You said only a few truly be in the cause, and most aren’t willing to die for it.”

“Exactly, no one is going to come out and openly resist what he’s saying to us, because he will kill us without a second thought, we’re all expendable to him on his quest for power,” Snape says, “There will always be people to follow him, whether or not we decide to revolt against him now, there is a time and place.”

“There’s never a right time for a revolution,” Sirius says.

“You’ve been reading too much Muggle history,” Snape says looking back at Sirius, “This has to be done right if you truly want to stop what’s happening because there will always be someone to come right back and start the movement again.”

June of 1979, exactly one year into their arranged marriage, Sirius has come to terms with the fact that sometimes there are things that happen in your life that you can’t change, and have no control over, no matter how much you want to change circumstances. Such as being married to a Death Eater. Snape was a Death Eater, and there wasn’t anything that could be done to change that. Every few weeks, sometimes more than that, Snape would be out late, at these Death Eater meetings, and Sirius worried more than he is willing to admit.

After revealing the biggest secret he had, Snape didn’t mind so much being around Sirius. Sirius, of course, wasn’t thrilled by any means, but he was more understanding than Snape would have ever thought, after finding out he was an actual Death Eater. Sirius didn’t ask any more questions, and he didn’t try to force Snape out of the Death Eaters, he didn’t come up with crazy ideas that would ‘help’. For once Snape thinks that Sirius realized the seriousness of the situation and realized that there isn’t just a magical fix for everything, and this was one of those things that didn’t have a magical fix.

“Okay, get off,” Snape murmurs, looking down at Sirius.

“So romantic,” Sirius mutters, rolling off of Snape, pulling the sheets around his body, as he lays back on his back.

“I don’t do romance,” Snape says, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Clearly,” Sirius mutters watching Snape pulling on his pants, before getting up, “Where are you going?”

“Shower,” Snape murmurs.

“You’re not going back to work?” Sirius asks, looking over at the alarm clock, it was still before four in the afternoon.

“No, I have the rest of the day off,” Snape says.

“So, I guess we’ll have time to try again later then,” Sirius says.

“I don’t think it’s going to happen, Sirius,” Snape says.

“The sooner we get pregnant, the sooner we can stop trying,” Sirius says.

“I don’t think it’s going to make a difference,” Snape says, “I don’t think it’s going to happen; we’ve been at it for a month now.”

“Well maybe you’re just not trying hard enough,” Sirius says.

“Maybe you’re not,” Snape retorts.

“Trust me, I’ve been trying.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “just because you enjoy it, doesn’t mean you’re trying.”

Sirius laughs, “never thought I’d ever say I enjoyed having sex with you,” he says, “but what can I say, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, plus I like sex.”

“Disgusting,” Snape says.

“It’s not so bad, you’re really quite fit, once you get past the pale skin and all,” Sirius says.

“Oh, fuck off,” Snape says, turning to leave.

“It was a compliment,” Sirius insists, “Really.”

“Saying how pale my skin is, isn’t a compliment,” Snape says, shutting the door behind him as he walks into the bathroom.

“But I said you were fit!” Sirius calls after him.

“Fuck off Sirius,” Snape calls back.

At dinner that night, Sirius decides to bring up Snape’s least favorite subject for a second time that night.

“Do you really think it’s as simple as not trying hard enough?” Sirius asks.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now, Sirius,” Snape says looking across the table at Sirius.

“But, if it’s just that simple,” Sirius says.

“I’m sure it’s not just that simple,” Snape says, “There’s biology, and genetics, and magic, and other stuff involved,” he says, “I’m sure it’s one of those things, where it has to happen on a day when everything is lined up in perfect succession,” he mumbles.

“You think so?” Sirius asks, “So we just have to keep trying, and guessing, and waiting?” he asks.

“Yeah, probably,” Snape says, “Now please, I’m trying to eat.”

“I guess we just have to have more sex,” Sirius says.

Snape sighs, sitting back in his chair, as he pushes his half-eaten plate of lamb away from him, “I’ve lost my appetite.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “You’d think it’d be easier since we’re so young,” he says.

“Sirius,” Snape sighs, “There are so many other factors at play here,” he says, “Why are you so concerned all of the sudden?”

“What if it just doesn’t happen?” Sirius asks.

Snape looks at Sirius, “Then it doesn’t happen,” he says, “I can’t even think about this right now.”

“We have to think about it,” Sirius insists.

“I don’t want to have a child in this war Sirius,” Snape says, “I’m glad it hasn’t happened.”

“The sooner it happens the sooner we can stop,” Sirius says.

Snape sighs, “we can just stop,” he says, “It’s not like not having sex is going to change anything,” he mutters, “and I could go for a break.”

Sirius frowns, “I’m quite fit, and quite good in bed, you should be so lucky,” he says.

“Excuse me, I need to vomit,” Snape says, rolling his eyes before getting up from the table.

“I’m good looking!” Sirius calls after him, “Why don’t you ever think I’m good looking?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the posting schedule was a little off today, but I had a weird work schedule this week and this was really the only time I had to post it, and didn't want to post it later. ANYWAYS! I want to thank all of you so very much for your time and support!! I have enjoyed all the lovely comments and conversations with all of you <3 I truly appreciate every single one of you, who read this, and just enjoy the content, and those who enjoy it so much you leave kudos and those of you who leave such brilliantly lovely comments. Thank you all so very much!!! I hope you all continue to enjoy this content!!! Thank you so very much!!! <3<3<3<3<3


	6. A doe in headlights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus Snape has made a chilling discovery. When this information is shared with his partner, Sirius has to decide the best thing to do in order to keep both his best friend and his husband safe. Sirius also learns about how his abuse has really effected those around him, and has to deal with the ramifications of his past behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:: This chapter briefly discusses Mpreg. No actual Mpreg exists, but a conversation about it and weird biology exist within this chapter.

As winter begins, Sirius had taken it upon himself to start dressing Snape. If he was going to be married to him, he wasn’t going to have him walking around looking like a slob. Every few weeks Sirius would come home with a large bag of new robes for Snape. Snape didn’t particularly care for being dressed by Sirius, but he did have to admit these robes fit him much better than his old robes, and they made him look very professional when he went to work. Sirius takes it upon himself to get a hobby. Snape didn’t necessarily approve of this new hobby, but he wasn’t about to start telling Sirius that. Afterall if Sirius wanted to get a hundred different tattoos all over his body, then it was his right to do so. Sure, Snape had to look at them, but Sirius had to live with them.

Snape comes home late one evening, it was before midnight, but only just.

“Oh, hey you’re home,” Sirius says when Snape walks into the bedroom, “I returned those robes that were too big today, and I bought you some new robes, from Twilfitt and Tattings, you said you didn’t like the grey ones last time, so I just got black, you seem to like those-“

“Sirius,” Snape says, standing at his bedside.

“Now I know you don’t love the trousers, but they really do look quite good on you, just give them a try, I got you two pairs to try, and some shirts, I think you’ll look quite nice in them-“

“Sirius,” Snape says again looking down at Sirius with a grim look on his face.

Sirius looks up from his copy of _seeker weekly_ , looking up at Snape, “What’s wrong?” Sirius asks, seeing the horrified look on Snape’s face.

“The Potters,” Snape mutters.

“James and Lily?” Sirius asks, sitting up on the bed, setting his magazine on the nightstand, “What’s going on?”

“You didn’t tell me,” Snape says.

“Tell you what?” Sirius asks.

“They’re having a child,” Snape says staring back at Sirius.

“Why would I tell you,” Sirius says, “I know how things are for you with Lily,” he says.

Snape swallows thickly, “The Dark Lord,” he says.

“What?” Sirius frowns, “What are you talking about?”

“He thinks they’re his demise,” Snape says.

“James and Lily?” Sirius asks.

“Their child,” Snape hisses, “he thinks their child will be the death of him,” he says looking at Sirius, “I-I couldn’t stop him, he didn’t want to get it wrong,” Snape says, “he-he,” Snape sighs, “He wants the child.”

“We have to stop him,” Sirius says fiercely.

“I-I,” Snape stammers, “I begged him, not to harm Lily, but he wants her child.”

“Lily!” Sirius cries, “James is my best friend! My brother even,” he says, “You’re so selfish, Severus!”

Snape looks at Sirius with frantic eyes, “I don’t think he won’t harm her, or James,” he says, “I didn’t know what else to do,” he says

Sirius’s face drops, “what did you do Severus?”

Snape sighs heavily, “I went to Professor Dumbledore,” he says.

Sirius stares with eyes wide, “You what?”

“He was the only one who ever understood him,” Snape insisted, “The only one the Dark Lord ever feared.”

Sirius looks at Snape, thinking maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea that he had gone to him, “Why didn’t you come to me first?” Sirius asks.

“I panicked,” Snape hisses, “He was talking about getting rid of these people we know,” he says, “all I could think about was trying to make it right.”

Sirius sighs, “Alright,” he says, “What did Dumbledore say?”

Snape sighs, “He said he would do what he could to help,” Snape says, “So long as I came when he called upon he, he made me promise, I was done with the Death Eaters, and that he would call upon me when the time was right, and I needed to join him when that time came.”

“Join the Order?” Sirius asks.

Snape nods slowly, “I think that’s what he meant,” Snape says.

“You’re joining the Order?” Sirius asks.

“Unofficially,” Snape murmurs, “He said I have to continue acting like everything is normal and nothing has changed,” he says, “And that means, continuing to follow the Dark Lord, he said we can’t have him asking questions, or getting suspicious if we want this to work.”

“You’re mad,” Sirius cries out, “You’re not going back there with him.”

“I have to,” Snape says, “Dumbledore is right, the moment The Dark Lord gets suspicious, he’ll deviate from the plan, and start killing and improvising,” he says, “We have to go along with this, and-“

“We have to tell James and Lily!” Sirius cries.

“Dumbledore is already talking to them, to come up with a plan,” Snape sighs, “but _you_ have to keep quiet, you can’t know about this and you can’t go around talking about it, and you definitely can’t go around talking about me.”

“I have to tell James, and Lily,” Sirius says, “They need to know.”

“You cannot,” Snape hisses.

“Why not?” Sirius cries, “They deserve to know!” he insists.

“You cannot tell them,” Snape says firmly.

Sirius looks at Snape for a long moment before, “Lily may forgive you, knowing how you helped her.”

“Sirius,” Snape says, “you have to swear to me that you will not tell them,” he says, “swear it.”

“I’m not doing that,” Sirius says looking at Snape.

“It is crucial, that they never know!” Snape says, “Sirius, you have to swear that you won’t tell James or Lily, that I had anything to do with this.”

Sirius sighs, “For once you do the right thing, and you don’t want anyone to know.”

“They can’t know, it’s vital for this to work, that they never know,” Snape insists.

“Fine,” Sirius says, “I’ll keep your secret,” he sighs, “That you’re a better man than you let on.”

Snape sighs heavily, sitting down on the edge of the bed, letting burying his face into his hands.

Sirius sighs softly, sitting down on the bed beside Snape, gently wrapping his arm around Snape’s waist, “Come here.”

“I don’t do affection,” Snape hisses.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “You do tonight,” he murmurs, “Now come on.”

Never in his entire life did Sirius Black ever think that he would be comforting Severus Snape.

The next day Snape wakes up to find himself lying on his back with Sirius curled up on his chest, clinging to him. Snape sighs softly, gently pushing Sirius off of him, down onto his side of the bed.

“Severus,” Sirius mumbles, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I need a bath,” Snape murmurs softly, crawling out of bed.

Snape walks into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him before he runs the water in the bath and begins to undress. Snape pulls off his nightshirt, and pants, putting them in the laundry bin, before stepping into the bath, turning off the tap, and closing his eyes as he settles into the bath.

Not even ten minutes later, the bathroom door opens causing Snape to jump in surprise, “What are you doing?” Snape hisses, quickly reaching for a towel, “I’m in the bath.”

“I’m aware of where you are,” Sirius says, “I’m not staying, don’t you worry.”

“What do you want?” Snape sighs, wishing Sirius wasn’t standing there while he was in the bath.

“I’m going to James’s,” Sirius says.

Snape stares with wide eyes, “Sirius, you can’t.”

“I’m not going to say anything,” Sirius says, “I’m sworn to secrecy,” he says looking over at Snape, “I just need to see him.”

Snape sighs, “Yeah, alright,” he says.

“I’ll be back in a while,” Sirius says, “I think we have some things we need to talk about.”

Snape doesn’t enjoy his bath, though he didn’t think he could enjoy anything right now. Snape steps out of the bath a little while later, drying off, before putting on a pair of black robes. Snape sits down at his desk, opening _The Guide to Panacea_ before pulling down a small brass cauldron, beginning to mix salt and vinegar over a fire.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks, stepping out of the fireplace.

“You’re back,” Snape says as though it were a question.

“Yeah, sorry it’s so late,” Sirius says, “I was talking to James and Lily, and they were telling me about Dumbledore, and then he showed back up,” Sirius’s voice trails off as he looks over at Snape, “Are you even listening?”

“Hmm,” Snape murmurs, looking up at Sirius.

Sirius frowns, “What are you doing?” he asks.

“Just trying to replicate this,” Snape says, “It’s nothing.”

“Have you been there all day?” Sirius asks.

“Just after you left,” Snape says, “After I got out of the bath.”

“Severus!” Sirius cries, “You haven’t moved from that spot all day? Have you eaten anything?”

“No,” Snape says, “It’s only been a few hours.”

“Severus, I’ve been gone all day,” Sirius says, “It’s nearly ten pm,” he says.

Snape frowns, “No, that’s not right,” he says looking down at his watch.

“Severus,” Sirius says, “You can’t do this,” he says, “You get caught up inside your head, and forget to eat, and take care of yourself.”

“No, I don’t,” Snape says narrowing his eyes at Sirius.

“Then why haven’t you moved in nearly twelve hours,” Sirius counters.

“It’s only been a few hours,” Snape insists.

Sirius sighs “Come in here,” he says, walking into the kitchen, fixing up some left-over noodle soup.

Snape doesn’t argue, he follows Sirius into the kitchen sitting down at the table, as Sirius heats some food. Sirius sets two bowls of soup down on the table, before sitting down across from Snape.

“Eat,” Sirius murmurs, as he begins to eat his own soup, sighing softly.

“Thank you,” Snape says before beginning to eat. After a moment of silent eating, “So Dumbledore was telling you about his ideas today then?”

Sirius eyes Snape cautiously, “I didn’t think you were listening to me,” he murmurs.

“I heard everything you said,” Snape replies.

“Yeah,” Sirius says a moment later, “he was telling us about Voldemort, and he was very careful to leave you out of it, so I kept my promise,” Sirius says.

Snape sighs, pushing the bowl away from himself.

“No,” Sirius says, pushing the bowl of soup back in front of Snape, “You’re going to finish eating that.”

“No, I can’t,” Snape murmurs, “I don’t feel well.”

“Because you haven’t eaten all day,” Sirius says, “I expect guilt, and starving yourself don’t go well together.”

“I wasn’t starving myself,” Snape says.

“Good, you admit you feel guilty about what you’ve done,” Sirius says, “Now eat.”

Snape did indeed feel guilty. He may not have liked James, but that didn’t mean he wanted him dead, and it was his fault they were in danger now.

As the days, turn to weeks and the weeks to months, Sirius continues checking in on James and Lily, who was becoming more pregnant every time he saw her. It sparked a feeling inside Sirius that he couldn’t quite understand. Sirius doesn’t tell Snape about the goings-on at the Potter’s home, and Snape doesn’t ask.

Snape, however, was quick to notice that the nights Sirius spent with James and Lily, were usually the nights that Sirius came home, and eagerly crawled into bed beside Snape and wanted to be intimate. Snape over the last two years being married to Sirius, had started to truly forgive him for his past. Snape didn’t hold resentment for Sirius anymore, he did still find Sirius’s behavior from time to time, inappropriate, but he’d also learned how to talk to him in the last two years, something that Snape never thought he would be able to do.

Sirius, over the last two years being married to Snape, had grown to truly regret his past behavior toward the other man. Sirius had done some self-reflecting, and come to realize he'd only made fun of Snape because he was secretly jealous of him, Snape was smart and decently good looking, he was thinner than Sirius, and aside from his obviously pronounced nose, could have been considered very attractive in the eyes of his peers, and that was a threat to Sirius at his young and impressionable age. Sirius does not confide being jealous in anyone, not even James, he needed to keep that bit of information to himself, but Sirius does wish he had behaved differently all those years ago because after spending so much time with Snape, he now realized he's missed out on an opportunity to be friends with someone who could have been a true friend to him. Now that they were married, and expected to have children together Sirius's past torments of the younger wizard, made progressing through their relationship, and developing as a couple that much harder. And Sirius has a hard enough time convincing Snape that he’s being sincere when he compliments him, and Sirius is to blame for that, he knows he is. He knows the years of torment, over how Snape looked, and how he dressed and kept himself was the reason Snape didn’t believe Sirius when he told him he looked fit; but the more time Sirius spent with Snape, the more he saw the attractive man behind the long veil of dark hair, which Sirius was surprised to find out, wasn’t greasy as he always commented. Snape’s hair was slick and reminded him of a silk scarf in texture. Now that Sirius really wanted to compliment Snape, and tell him how much he fancied him, Snape was always reluctant, he was always skeptical, and never thought that Sirius was being genuine, and that was all because of Sirius. One of the many things Sirius has grown to regret over the last two years being married to Severus Snape.

“Are you coming home after work?” Sirius asks one morning, picking at a bit of dry toast.

Snape nods, taking a sip of his tea, “why?” he asks curiously, glancing up from his copy of the Daily Prophet.

“Just wondering,” Sirius says, “I told James, I’d stop by,” he says, “He said he has something he wants to ask me, so I might not be home when you get back.”

Snape nods, “Okay,” he says, “maybe I’ll work a little late then,” he says, “There’s something I need to do but haven’t made the time yet.”

“Does it have to do with the bubble charms?” Sirius asks, knowing Snape had been working on a new bubble charm at work.

“No,” Snape says sipping his tea, “It’s unrelated,” he says, “Professor Dumbledore has asked me to do something for him.”

“Oh,” Sirius says, suddenly curious as to what Dumbledore would have entrusted Snape to do, that he felt he couldn’t ask Sirius to do.

“He wants me to do some work with the Department of Magical Education,” Snape says, “Research I think, though he hasn’t told me what.”

“That’s strange,” Sirius says.

“No,” Snape says, “Dumbledore often gives cryptic messages like that, you almost always have to figure out what exactly he means.”

“What?” Sirius frowns, “No I mean that he would ask you to research the Department of Magical Education.”

“From what I understood, and sort of worked out, he wants me to put in a transfer, and work with the department,” Snape says, “so I think I’ll do that today.”

“I wonder why,” Sirius says, pushing away his toast.

“He’s got some plan, he always does,” Snape murmurs, before folding up the Daily Prophet, finishing the last of his tea, “I’ll see you when you get home then,” he murmurs.

Sirius nods, getting up, “See you later,” he says, giving Snape a gentle kiss on the cheek, before Snape grabs his cloak, and disappears into the fireplace.

“With the baby coming, now is as good a time as any,” James says to Sirius.

Lily sets down a tray of tea and biscuits, pouring two cups of tea.

“Lily, you shouldn’t be lifting heavy things, I could have done that for you,” James says looking up at his wife.

Lily smiles softly, “I’m pregnant James, I haven’t broken my arms,” she says, “I’m very capable of pouring some tea for my husband and his best mate.”

James stands up, wrapping his arm around Lily’s waist as he presses a gentle kiss to her cheek, “Thank you Lils, I appreciate you.”

“I know,” Lily smiles, before stepping back into the kitchen to leave James and Sirius to talk.

“She could have the baby any day now,” Sirius says, looking over at James.

James nods, “She really could,” he says, “but she’s not due for another month, so hopefully not before then.”

“And you’re naming him after your granddad?” Sirius asks, “Henry, right?”

James nods, “Everyone called him Harry, so that’s what Lily wants to call him,” he says.

“Harry,” Sirius murmurs softly, trying to get a feel for the name, “Harry Potter.”

James smiles, looking over at Sirius, “So, I want you to be Harry’s Godfather,” James says suddenly, “If anything were to ever happen to me or Lily, I want you to take care of him for us, raise him like your own.”

Sirius stares at James, “Are you kidding?”

“No,” James says, “You’re my best mate,” he says, “You’ve always been like a brother to me, and I wouldn’t trust anyone else with my kid.”

“But, I’m so unqualified,” Sirius says, “why not Remus, he’s much more responsible,” Sirius says.

“Well we definitely don’t plan on stopping at one,” James smirks, “but the first is special, and I want you to be his Godfather,” he insists.

“Are you sure?” Sirius asks.

James smiles, “Will you just say yes, already?”

Sirius looks at James, giving him a faint smile, “of course, I’ll be his Godfather.”

“You’re the best,” James grins, leaning over, wrapping Sirius in a big hug.

Sirius hugs James, “You do know I’m married to Snape, right?”

James looks at Sirius, “All water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned,” he says, “We’ve all made our fair share of mistakes,” he says, “and from what I hear, you’ve brought out the better in him.”

Sirius sighs, leaning back on the sofa, “I don’t know about that.”

James glances over his shoulder checking for his wife, before looking back at Sirius, “How are things going with you two?”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Well,” he says glancing down at his own, still very flat stomach, “Still not pregnant,” he says.

“So, you haven’t been doing it?” James asks.

“Oh no,” Sirius says, “We’ve been doing it, nearly every night,” he says.

“Really?” James asks.

“Why?” Sirius asks.

“He just doesn’t seem like the type,” James says, “to be so affectionate.”

“I never said anything about affection,” Sirius says, “I said we’ve been having sex nearly every night for months, drinking these stupid potions, and still not pregnant,” he says.

“Okay,” James says, “so take some time off,” he says, “try just doing something for fun, without the pressure,” he says, “It could help just in general too,” James says.

“We don’t have relationship problems,” Sirius says.

“Uh you spent years verbally abusing him,” James says, “If that’s not the definition of relationship problems, I don’t know what is.”

“It’s not like that anymore,” Sirius insists.

“Good, then it should be easy,” James says, “do something just the two of you, that has nothing to do with making babies, even try something that he likes, just to get to know him better,” James continues, “Lily does something that I like with me, just for me, and I do stuff she likes, that I’m not really into and it makes us better.”

Sirius sighs heavily, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You like him, don’t you?” James says.

Sirius nods slowly wondering where James was going with this.

“Then show him you like him, rather than telling him, actions speak louder than words,” James says.

It was this moment that seemed to connect everything in his life up until now. Sirius had been trying to get Snape to listen to him when he said how he thought of him, instead of showing Snape what he really thought of him.

When Sirius steps out of the fireplace, he had expected Snape to be in bed, so he was pleasantly surprised to see Snape awake, and in the kitchen when he got home.

“You’re up,” Sirius says, walking into the kitchen.

Snape looks over his shoulder, “Hello,” he says, before glancing down at his watch, it was half-past eight, “It’s not that late,” Snape murmurs.

Sirius strides across the room, wrapping his arms around Snape for a moment, hugging him.

Snape looks down at Sirius, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Sirius says, leaning up pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, “How was work?” he asks, letting go of Snape.

“Fine,” Snape replies, eyeing Sirius curiously.

“Did you apply for the transfer?” Sirius asks.

Snape nods, “There’s supposed to be an opening soon,” he says, “I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

“Probably not, knowing Dumbledore,” Sirius murmurs.

Snape chuckles, looking over at Sirius, “Do you want something to eat then?”

Sirius wasn’t particularly hungry, “I’ll cook, you could use a break,” he says.

Snape frowns looking over at Sirius, “Who are you and what have you done with Sirius?”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything I suppose,” Snape says.

Sirius looks at Snape for a moment before turning his back, “Sit down,” he says, looking in the refrigerator, making a note to get food from the market tomorrow, as he sees what could make for dinner.

Snape sits down at the table, watching Sirius as he begins to peel carrots in the sink, “Nothing too heavy,” he says, “I don’t like to go to bed full.”

Sirius smiles to himself, “I know,” he says, “don’t worry.”

Snape watches Sirius send peas into a bowl, as they begin to separate from the pods, “What did you do today then?” Snape asks.

“Not a lot,” Sirius replies, turning around a moment later, setting a cup of tea on the table for Snape, before sending milk and sugar over with a gentle wave of his wand, “I saw James this evening, and we had some tea and talked.”

“Hmm,” Snape murmurs, taking a sip of his tea, watching Sirius heat the vegetables in a pan, “That’s nice.”

Sirius looks over his shoulder at Snape, “Are you working tomorrow?” he asks casually.

“No, I’ve got the weekend off,” Snape replies, sipping his tea.

“That’s nice,” Sirius says, “maybe we could do something together then,” he says turning around with two plates in his hands, before walking over to the table, setting one plate down in front of Snape, and the other on the opposite end of the table.

“Maybe,” Snape says softly, looking down at the plate Sirius had placed down in front of him. It was buttered peas, roasted carrots, and a piece of white fish.

Sirius turns around, setting two glasses of red wine on the table, before sitting down across the table from Snape, “You don’t have to eat it all if you don’t want,” he says.

“This is fine,” Snape says, “Thank you,” he says before beginning to eat his dinner.

After dinner, Sirius decides to take a bath, and Snape changes into his nightshirt and crawls into bed. Snape is lying in bed, when Sirius comes into the bedroom, still towel drying his hair.

“So, what do you want to do tomorrow?” Sirius asks curiously, waving the towel back to the bathroom towel rack to dry.

Snape shrugs, “I don’t know,” he answers, “anything I suppose.”

“I think there are still showings of Odysseus,” Sirius says, “We could go see that.”

“Maybe,” Snape says, watching Sirius crawl underneath the sheet.

“Do you want the lights on? Or are you ready to go to bed?” Sirius asks.

Snape sighs softly, “turn them off.”

Sirius waves his wand, and the lights turn off, before setting his wand on the bedside table, “Severus,” Sirius says, as he lays back on the bed.

“Yeah?” Snape replies.

“Can I, um- well, I wanted to…lay with you,” Sirius stammers.

Snape sighs, turning to face Sirius, “Before I change my mind then,” he mutters.

Sirius turns over, gently sliding against Snape’s body, laying his head on Snape’s pillow, as Snape awkwardly tries to figure out where to place his hands. Sirius takes Snape’s hand, guiding it slowly around his waist, letting his hand wrap around Snape’s, as Sirius settles his body against Snape’s.

“Severus,” Sirius murmurs a few moments later.

“Ignore it,” Snape mutters, not wanting to have this conversation right now.

“We don’t have to ignore it,” Sirius says, “we can…take care of it,” he says softly.

“No,” Snape mutters, “I said ignore it, I want to go to bed,” Snape murmurs.

“How can you ignore that?” Sirius says, very hyper-aware of Snape’s erection against his back.

“When you hear how much no one will ever want to touch you, it’s not something you give that much attention to.”

Sirius swallows thickly, before turning over to face Snape, causing Snape to shift uncomfortably, “What are you doing?”

Sirius looks up at Snape, and he doesn’t know what to say right now. Looking at what he’s done to Snape, hurt him in ways he couldn’t explain, and Sirius couldn’t begin to think of how to fix this man who he had broken.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius says, wrapping his arms around Snape’s waist, gently laying his head against Snape’s shoulder, “I’m sorry doesn’t begin to explain how I really feel,” he murmurs, unaware of exactly how tightly he was grasping onto Snape.

Snape sighs, he didn’t want to get into this either tonight, “I know,” Snape says softly, “I know you’re sorry, I’m trying Sirius, I am, it’s just going to take time.”

"Severus," Sirius whispers looking back at him through the darkness of the bedroom, "I can't even imagine what I put you though, I mean, look at what I've done to you," he says, "I am so sorry that I said all of those horrible things to you growing up," Sirius says, grasping onto Snape's hand, "I am so sorry I called you ugly, and said you had greasy hair, and were too thin, and I'm sorry I ruined your robes, and set fire to your robes, and poured countless potions onto you, most of the time on purpose," Sirius sighs heavily, looking back at Snape, whose face was now fully visible to him, as his eyes adjusted to the light of the room.

"Sirius-" Snape starts, only to be interrupted.

"I am so sorry that I tortured you," Sirius says, grasping tighter to Snape's hands, "I honestly don't know what I was thinking because I can't even fathom what thought could have entered my mind that would make me think it was okay to have treated you that way and to have done those things I did to you, and in front of the whole school, I humiliated you at a time when you were most vulnerable, and I made fun of you, and what you looked like, and I made fun of your friends, and I told Lily she should find better friends than you, and I helped to fully isolate you when we were at school, and I-" Sirius's voice cracks as tears begin to form in his eyes thinking of the myriad of horrendous things he did to his husband over the years.

"Sirius, you weren't the only one who did those things," Snape says quietly.

"That doesn't make it better Severus," Sirius insists, "if anything, it makes it worse."

"Sirius, I had poor self-worth from watching the way my mother carried herself," Snape says looking back at his husband, "I had poor self-worth from hearing my father berate me as a child, you alone are not the reason I am this way," he says.

"It doesn't matter Severus, I had no right to do any of those things to you, say any of those things to you, I may not have been the only one to torment you, but I didn't have to continue tormenting you, hell, I could have stopped at any time, but I didn't, purely out of jealousy and self-hatred," Sirius sighs softly.

"I won't pretend that you didn't contribute to the way I am," Snape says looking over at his husband, "but it is unfair for you to bear the burden set in place by many others," he says.

"But it is the right thing to do, to own up to my mistakes, my past, and take the burden I've put on you, away," Sirius says, "I don't know how to start, but I want to take it all away from you."

Snape sighs softly, "I don't know what to say," he says quietly, "this isn't something that can just be undone with a magic spell, it's going to take a long time, Sirius."

Sirius nods, “and I’ll be here with you the entire time,” he says, gently laying his head against Snape’s chest, wrapping his arms tightly around Snape's body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's been following this fic! I am so appreciative of your time! I want to thank you all so very much for your time! and the lovely support you've given me, in all the kudos, and beautiful comments you've been leaving! Thank you so much! <3


	7. Till Death do us Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After learning how Sirius truly feels about Snape, a few bumps in the road are exposed in their marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:: This chapter contains brief mentions of Mpreg. No Actual Mpreg exists, but a conversation about it does again, exist.  
> Also, a very tiny bit of sexual content exists at the end. very light s/D tendencies.

Snape comes home from work one April evening, hanging his cloak on the rack, and he notices the books on his bookshelf seem to be out of place again, for the third time this month. He had thought he’d been imagining it, so he put the books back in their places, and neatly straightened his ingredient bottles. But there was no way he was imagining things this time. He distinctly notices the book placed facing outward on the shelf, and his size 3 copper cauldron was neatly placed on the floor under his desk instead of on the top shelf where he always kept it.

Snape slips off his shoes before walking into the bedroom, finding Sirius standing in front of the radio, listening to…well, Snape wasn’t sure what it was, it definitely wasn’t the WWN.

“What are you doing?” Snape asks crossing his arms over his chest.

Sirius glances over his shoulder with a small smile, “You’re home from work,” he says.

“I am,” Snape confirms, “And what have you been doing today?”

Sirius smiles, turning to Snape, “I’ve been listening to this amazing music,” he grins, “they’re a muggle band, they call themselves Def Leppard,” he says excitedly, “Isn’t it great?!”

Snape frowns, he didn’t exactly care for it, it seemed like a lot of loud noise, but he didn’t hate it exactly, “Sirius, I have to talk to you,” he says.

“What about?” Sirius asks curiously, turning down the music on the stereo.

“You’ve been touching my things,” Snape says accusingly, “my books, and my potion things,” he says.

Sirius swallows thickly and decides to lie, “No, I haven’t been,” he says.

“Then why was my copy of _Moste Potente Potions_ put back on the shelf facing outwards?” Snape asks coldly, “and why is my coper cauldron sitting on the floor instead of on the top shelf with the other coper cauldrons?” Snape asks, “And why has my moonstone supply suddenly diminished by over half?” he asks.

Sirius bites the inside of his cheek, looking back at Snape, “I don’t know,” he says.

Snape rolls his eyes, turning around to leave, he couldn’t look at Sirius right now. Snape walks back into the living room, beginning to put his workstation back into order, taking note of what ingredients he was suddenly missing at the same time.

Sirius steps into the living room a few minutes later watching Snape, who said nothing to him, but threw him a nasty glare over his shoulder when he noticed Sirius. How was Sirius going to explain what he had been doing? Sirius never actually thought he’d be caught, but he should have figured because Snape was smarter than Sirius thought.

“Rose thorns, Moonstone, pearl dust, peppermint,” Snape says to himself, as he inspects all the bottles, before looking over at Sirius, “What have you done Sirius?” he asks coldly turning to look at the other wizard.

Sirius looks back at Snape, “I-I j-just-“

“You just what?” Snape snaps, crossing the room quickly.

Sirius swallows looking back at Snape, “I wasn’t hurting anyone,” Sirius insists, “I made it for myself,” he says quickly.

Snape stares back at Sirius, “You made it for yourself,” he says.

Sirius nods and watches Snape.

Snape is quiet for a moment looking back into Sirius’s eyes, “Liar,” he hisses.

Sirius hated how Snape always knew he was lying, absolutely hated it, “I did,” he insists, “at first.”

“At first,” Snape says looking over at Sirius, “so you admit this isn’t the first time you’ve made it.”

Sirius sighs, “Three times now,” he admits.

“Love potions are extremely dangerous,” Snape snaps, “And not to mention, illegal,” he says, “And you’ve made them three times now?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius says, “It didn’t work anyway, I must have done it wrong,” he says.

“That makes it even worse,” Snape says, “An improperly brewed love potion could have serious side effects,” he says.

“Like what?” Sirius asks nervously

“Not only the recipient obsessing over an unintended person,” Snape says, “but it could cause the drinker to become very ill, it could cause loss of impulse control and other things that haven’t been discovered yet,” Snape says, “ Who did you give this to?” Snape asks.

Sirius looks back at Snape, “I made it for myself,” he says truthfully, “I drank it, and when it didn’t work, I made another and when that didn’t work,” he pauses looking back at Snape, “I gave one to you,” he mutters.

Snape blinks back at Sirius, he had completely misheard him, because there was no way in hell that Sirius had just admitted to giving him a love potion. Snape says nothing and waits for Sirius to explain himself.

“When that didn’t seem to work, I made another one today, I was going to give it to you later tonight,” he says quietly, pulling the phial of potion out of his trouser pocket, handing it out to Snape.

Snape looks at the pink potion in Sirius’s hand, and says nothing as he picks it up, and pockets it into his robes, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to think of anything he could possibly say to Sirius right now.

Sirius sighs heavily, “I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I know it was wrong, but it’s not like anything happened, you didn’t suddenly obsess over me, and I never started obsessing over you, and neither of us got ill,” he says looking over at Snape, “You hate me,” he mutters.

Snape looks back at Sirius, “There’s a potion for that too you know,” he says.

Sirius sighs, “Severus please,” he says, “I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I just wanted to try it out and see what would happen if we introduced some love into our relationship,” he says, “we’ve been so hateful toward each other in the past, and I know how it feels to be in love, I’ve been in love a hundred times, I think it might have only been real once, but still, I felt it a hundred times, and I just wanted to know if we ever had a chance at that,” Sirius sighs, “we’re meant to be so perfectly matched according to who we are as people, but all we ever did was fight and hate each other, and I just wanted to know if love was something that we could ever have, together,” he says quietly, “I know I shouldn’t have done this, and I feel horrible that I did, I didn’t think there would be any harm,” he sighs.

“You can’t create real love,” Snape says firmly, “you’d have created this love in your head and remember how you felt under the spell, and then when things were different without the magic, all you would be able to think about is how different things are,” Snape says, “love created with a love potion isn’t ever real, it’s always fake,” he says.

“I know,” Sirius sighs, “And you’re right,” he says, “If I had succeeded I’d always have this memory of how things could be with us, instead of how things are, and that probably would be worse,” he mutters.

“What you’ve just described is a side effect of love potions, and some people aren’t able to let go of what they think their love should be and feel like,” Snape says, “That’s why love potions are illegal.”

“I know,” Sirius mutters, sighing again.

Snape sighs softly, “With that being said, you probably didn’t brew it incorrectly,” he says, “love potions can’t alter what’s already there,” he says.

Sirius frowns looking over at Snape, “What are you talking about?” Sirius asks.

“You can’t create an infatuation where one exists already,” Snape says, “Not with the same person at least.”

Sirius looks back at Snape, “Are you saying that the love potion didn’t work because there’s already something between us?” he asks.

Snape narrows his eyes back at Sirius, “Don’t make me say it again, Sirius.”

Later that week Sirius is sat on the sofa at James’s house, and they’re watching Harry crawl around a pile of stuffed animals, squeezing the eyes on one of his stuffed pixies.

“Where’s Lily?” Sirius asks curiously, it wasn’t often that Lily left James with Harry alone.

James looks over at Sirius, “She’s visiting her parents,” he answers, “She’ll be back later.”

“Her parents?” Sirius asks.

James nods, “She’s afraid they’re not safe, so she went to talk to them, and see if she could help.”

Sirius frowns, “Her parents are muggles, why wouldn’t they be safe?”

“Lily isn’t safe,” James says, “Who’s to say the Death Eaters won’t use her parents to get to her?” he asks, “Death Eaters won’t think twice about sparing the life of a muggle to get to what they really want,” he says.

Sirius sighs softly, he hadn’t thought about that, “Are they alright?” he asks a moment later.

James nods, “As far as we know they’re not in any danger, but she didn’t want to take any chances,” he says.

Sirius nods slowly, looking over at Harry, he was surprised by how quickly Harry was growing, “he’s growing so quickly,” Sirius says softly.

James smiles looking over at his son, who was smashing his toy train together with the toy motorbike Sirius had given him together, and giggling, “He is,” James agrees, before looking over at Sirius, “What about you?” he murmurs.

Sirius smiles, watching Harry, “What about me?” he asks curiously.

James is quiet for a moment before looking over at Sirius, “Still no baby?” he asks, trying to be gentle with the question.

Sirius looks over at James, shaking his head, “No, I'm still not pregnant,” he says, “I think Severus has nearly given up,” he says, “everyone says there’s no reason there shouldn’t be a baby, but we still have no baby,” he sighs.

James nods slowly, “Well, maybe it’s a good thing,” he says softly.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Good how?” he asks.

“Sirius, we’re in the middle of a war,” James says, “having an infant, to worry about isn’t something to take lightly,” he says, “I love my son, but if I had the option to have Harry years later when we weren’t in hiding, weren’t afraid for his life or the life of my wife, and her family, I’d be much happier,” James says looking at Sirius, “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, that you haven’t had a child yet,” James says.

Sirius sighs heavily, “I get that, I do, Severus tells me all the time how he’s glad it hasn’t happened, he doesn’t want a child during this war, but I can’t help feeling like there’s something wrong with me,” he says, “I would die for my child,” Sirius says firmly.

“I have no doubts that you would lay down your life if it meant your child would escape a Death Eater attack, but that does not mean anything is wrong with you Sirius,” James says, “from what I understand this process can take a very long time, and there’s magic at play here that we don’t fully understand how or why it works the way it does, and you could just be an anomaly,” he says, “Honestly, if I didn’t have to worry about Harry or Lily, I would be out there fighting right now,” James says, “but if I do that I put the both of them in danger, and it’s killing me to be this passive,” he sighs, “but I can’t just think about myself, I have this family I have to think about, and I love them, I would die for them, but it doesn’t make it any easier to sit by, but I have to,” James says, “for them.”

Sirius sighs looking away at Harry who had moved on to putting a block in his mouth and chewing with the few teeth that he did have.

“Look, you care about Snape, right?” James asks.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Define care,” he mutters.

This makes James laugh, “Pads you’re like the easiest person to read,” he says, “I know what you look like when you’re in love with someone.”

Sirius glares over at James, “No one said anything about love,” he says quickly.

“Sirius, you’ve been married for over two years now, it’s okay if you’ve actually bonded with him during that time,” James says.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “It’s these stupid rings,” he says gesturing to the ring on his finger. 

“You know those rings can’t make you like each other,” James says, “Let alone love each other,” he says, “they’re supposed to promote bonding, and it appears the two of you have bonded over something at least,” he says, “it’s not shameful to have bonded with your partner Sirius,” James says looking over at his friend.

“What is your point, James?” Sirius asks.

“My point is, he’s who you have to take care of right now,” James says.

“He doesn’t need anyone to take care of him,” Sirius says quickly, “I hate to admit that he’s more capable than even us,” he mutters.

“There’s a war going on, right outside these walls Sirius,” James says firmly, looking at Sirius, “Everyone needs someone to take care of them right now.”

After nearly three days Snape can’t stand it another moment, he doesn’t mean to, but he snaps.

“Sirius, I swear to Merlin, if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I will break your goddamn legs,” Snape hisses, spinning around to face Sirius, who had followed him out of the bedroom for the third time that day.

Sirius shudders in fright, biting the inside of his cheek. Snape hadn’t raised his voice at him, but that man could instill fear with even the softest of speaking voices.

“What do you want Sirius?” Snape asks, looking back at the other wizard.

Sirius swallows thickly, “I don’t want anything,” he says looking back at Snape.

“Then why have you been following me around for the last three days?” Snape asks, “I can’t get any work done with you distracting me like this,” he insists.

“Sorry,” Sirius mutters, turning his eyes down.

Snape sighs, “What do you want from me?” he asks hoping to get some peace and quiet without having to lock himself in the bathroom, which he had done the last two nights to escape Sirius.

“Nothing,” Sirius insists, “I just,” he stops himself, “Nothing,” he says softly.

“Spit it out,” Snape hisses, “we are going to settle this right now, so things can go back to normal around here.”

“Severus things can’t ever be normal around here,” Sirius says, “There’s a war going on outside, you’re going off with the Death Eaters every week,” he continues, “our marriage is so much work that it doesn’t work at all,” Sirius sighs heavily.

Snape looks back at Sirius, finally understanding, “So that’s what this is about,” he says.

Sirius shakes his head, “No,” he insists, “This is about the world around us.”

“And your place in it,” Snape says looking at Sirius.

Sirius frowns, “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“You’re feeling inadequate,” Snape says plainly, “You’re worried about how things are going to turn out with the war,” Snape says, “You want to be out there ‘fighting’,” he says, “you want me to ‘do better’,” he continues, “you want to know why things look the way they do in our marriage, and why we still don’t have a child,” Snape says watching Sirius.

Sirius is quiet as he looks back at Snape, expecting him to continue talking.

Snape sighs softly, “I don’t have answers for you Sirius,” he says quietly, before turning to walk away.

This angers Sirius, how _dare_ Snape talk to him like that, and then just write him off like it’s nothing. Like he’s nothing.

“You asshole!” Sirius shouts, planting his feet firmly onto the floor.

This outburst confuses Snape. He turns around to look at Sirius but doesn’t respond to his shouting.

“You think you can just toy with my feelings like that,” Sirius shouts.

“Explain,” Snape says looking back at Sirius.

“Telling me what I want, what I need, telling me how you don’t care,” Sirius says.

“I never said I didn’t care,” Snape says, “I said I don’t have answers for you,” he says.

“Then you just walk away,” Sirius says, “that’s not how other people work through their marriage problems,” he says.

“We don’t have marriage problems,” Snape says, “And we are not other people.”

“Well I have a problem with this marriage right now,” Sirius says loudly.

Snape looks at Sirius, he couldn’t understand why Sirius was so upset, “What is your problem with our marriage right now, Sirius?” he asks softly.

“That we still don’t have a child!” Sirius nearly screams.

Snape thought that was one of the things he had explained just a moment ago that he did not have answers to, but perhaps he hadn’t been clear with Sirius.

“Sirius, we’ve done everything we can,” Snape says, “I don’t know what else you want to do,” he says quietly, as to not continue upsetting Sirius.

“You hardly ever look at me,” Sirius says, “I don’t think there’s any way you could possibly fancy me,” he mutters, “not that, that’s your fault per se, but it does hurt my ego a bit that you don’t think I’m fit,” he sighs, “This seems like a chore to you,” Sirius continues, “and I’m sure I’ve done everything I can to make us have a child,” he insists.

“Sirius, I’m sorry,” he says softly, “I didn’t realize how important those things were to you,” he says sighing softly, “I never said I didn’t think you were fit, I just-“ he stops himself, “You know how physically attractive you are,” Snape murmurs, “we can’t go anywhere without someone commenting on your physical appearance,” Snape says starting to wonder if this bothered him when other people looked at Sirius like this, “but it makes me uncomfortable to think of you in this way,” he mutters, “like a purely physical object for sexual gratification, or specifically for child bearing,” he says looking at his husband, “You have more than those things to offer to the world, and to me,” he says softly, “and you’re really not as perceptive as you think you are, if you think that I don’t ever look at you in this physical way,” he mutters, sure he was blushing the longer this conversation went on, “I am physically attracted to you Sirius, I just find it quite rude to reduce ourselves to these desires whenever the thought enters my mind,” he says glancing away from Sirius for a moment, “I’m still working through some things here Sirius, and sometimes you get caught between my conflicting thoughts of how much I desire you at that moment, and how much I’m aware that our relationship has been forced upon us for child bearing, and wondering how much of this is authentic to you and I on our own, because,” he sighs softly, “I wonder how you could find yourself physically attracted to me in the same way I am to you,” he mutters, “now I understand you show your affection in a very physical way,” Snape says looking back at Sirius, “but If you’re waiting for me to tell you how madly in love with you I am, you’ll be waiting a bloody long time,” he says, “you should know by now that’s not who I am, it never has been and it never will be,” Snape says watching Sirius for a moment, “Sirius, I know you’ve done everything within your power to make us have a child,” he says softly, “I didn’t realize how much having a child meant to you, you need to know that just because you haven’t gotten pregnant yet doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or that there is anything physically wrong with you, this specific treatment is difficult, and I am sorry that this has been so hard for you,” he says looking back at Sirius, “I’m willing to try more often, and I’m even willing to ask for more help with getting you pregnant, if you think that’s what we need.”

Sirius looks back at Snape in stunned silence, he shakes his head slowly, “No,” he says softly, knowing how uncomfortable the idea of going back to the Ministry for help with this makes Snape feel, “I just need you,” he says reaching for Snape’s hand, hoping this was a comfort to Snape as much as it was a comfort to him, “remembering that you’re here with me, through everything, makes it okay,” he says looking over at his husband.

“I am here with you Sirius,” Snape says, “but it’s not exactly the same,” he murmurs.

“I know,” Sirius says, “But it’s perfect, you’re perfect.”

Snape sighs softly, “I’m anything but perfect.”

“You’re perfect for me,” Sirius says, “Perfectly, imperfect.”

Snape’s cheeks flush with color, as he looks over at Sirius, “Sirius,” he murmurs.

“Yes, Severus?” Sirius asks.

Snape thinks for a moment, not wanting to be insensitive with the question, but he has to know, “Why you’re suddenly pushing for this child?”

Sirius laughs lightly, “I never wanted a child,” he says, “never before I was married to you at least.”

“I suppose the longer you’re with someone the things you thought you knew about yourself could change,” Snape says looking down at their hands held together.

Sirius sighs heavily, “I never thought I’d ever fancy you,” Sirius says, “and now I actually look forward to spending time with you,” he says softly looking back at Snape.

Snape looks at Sirius, “I know that this isn’t what you wanted,” Snape says, “it’s the last thing I ever expected to happen,” he says, “I have much to atone for-“

“As do I,” Sirius interrupts.

“Please,” Snape says softly, looking back at Sirius, who quiets down once more, “but I leave this house every day, never sure if I’m going to make it back from work alive,” he says, “I could be found out, I could be killed by the Death Eaters, or the Dark Lord himself,” Snape continues, “however, I knowingly take this on every day, and would do nothing differently if it meant your safety for another day,” he says, “I would willingly lay down my life, if it meant saving yours,” Snape says, “and my life is not something I take lightly.”

“I never thought I’d see the day Severus Snape would die for someone else,” Sirius murmurs softly.

“I would lay down my life for very few people,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “but after everything we’ve been through, I have no doubts that I would put your life above my own,” he says.

Sirius looks at Snape honestly shocked, “You’d make an amazing dad,” he says after a moment of silence, “you would die for your child if you had to.”

Snape never wanted to be a father, he never even liked children. They always ended up sticky and messy, and were always loud and mean, and played too rough. He had thought about it, he wondered what a child he had with Lily might be like, briefly. He had thought about what a child with Sirius might be like, only because he had to, but he still could not picture himself with a child. He could not picture himself holding an infant. Getting up in the middle of the night for feedings and nappy changes. Teaching them to talk, or to walk, teaching them to read. Snape just couldn’t picture any of it for himself. He never truly thought he’d be loved enough to warrant the conception of a child with anyone.

“I would die for our child, if it came down to it,” Snape says firmly.

Sirius overwhelmed with emotion, throws himself against Snape, wrapping his arms around his neck, kissing him firmly on the mouth.

Snape was completely caught off guard by this but allows Sirius to kiss him, capturing the corner of his mouth awkwardly with the kiss.

"I love you, Severus," Sirius says looking at his husband, affectionately stroking the side of his cheek, "Do you love me too?"

Sirius looks back at Sirius, he'd never really thought about if he'd loved Sirius before. He always said he loved Lily, but he doesn't feel the same way about Sirius as he felt about Lily. If Snape had to think about it, he would say he felt more for Sirius, which is surprising to him given how much he loathed Sirius in the past, but Sirius and he have been through so much together, that it only made sense that he felt more for him. Sirius had even returned his affections before, something he never had with Lily.

"I do," Snape says looking back at Sirius.

"Oh, Severus!" Sirius says, kissing him on the lips once more.

This time Snape was prepared for the sudden display of affection and thought nothing of kissing Sirius back, letting his hands rest gently against Sirius's waist, as Sirius pulls them closer together as he kisses Snape.

"How about I show you how physically attracted I am to you, and you show me which of my physical attributes it is that sparks such indecent thoughts in your mind about me," Sirius smirks, letting his hand trail down Snape's back, stopping just below his waist, tracing tiny circles against the fabric covering Snape's hips.

Snape's face flushes with color, and he's suddenly speechless, "I-I" he stutters before clearing his throat, "Of course that's what you took out of that conversation," he mutters trying to hide his embarrassment and his physical arousal.

"Come put a baby in me, Severus," Sirius grins, tugging on the buttons on the front of Snape's robes, pulling them open one by one.

Snape rolls his eyes, "That's not sexy Sirius," he says, but follows as Sirius pulls on the front of his robes, leading them back toward the bedroom.

Sirius grins, "would it be sexier if I told you, I actually enjoy the idea of being used as your pleasure object?" he smirks, sitting down on the edge of the bed, pulling Snape down on top of him.

"Fucking hell," Snape breathes, "your filthy mouth," he murmurs, his face surely tomato red.

"I could think of a few things you could do with it," Sirius smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I truly appreciate all the views this story continues to get, and the kudos, and the lovely comments from you all! This has been a bit of a "slow burn" if you will, and I'm so gracious that you're all sticking around for it! Thank you all so very much for reading! I appreciate your time so very much! <3


	8. Assault on the Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war efforts on both sides, begin to heat up, and attacks are happening more and more often, one spouse is forced to fight for something he doesn't believe in, but does what he can to keep those who he cares about safe from any backlash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No important notes! Enjoy This week's chapter!!!! <3

July 1, 1981

_Sirius,_

_I can’t come home, I’m sorry. Will be in touch when I can, don’t look for me, it’s too dangerous._

_-S.S_

Sirius can tell the letter is written in Snape's hand writing, but it's not as neat as he's used to seeing his husband's handwriting. The letter's been rushed, and Sirius can't help but worry.

It was nearly one in the morning, and Sirius can’t sleep, nausea in his stomach from being apart from Snape for so long, was keeping him awake. Sirius jumps when he hears the fireplace whir from the next room. He jumps up, pulling on his dressing gown, as he walks into the living room, barely noticing as the nausea subsides.

“Severus,” Sirius says, turning the light on, “What’s going on?” he asks, “You sent a letter with Dot, saying you can’t come home, but can’t explain what’s going on,” he rushes out of his mouth.

“Shhh,” Snape hisses, “not so loud,” he mutters, “Anyone could be listening,” he mutters as he hands Sirius a slip of parchment.

“What the fuck is this?” Sirius asks, unfolding the parchment.

_The Dark Lord thinks I know all of your secrets having been married for so long. He wants me to stay away from you, making you weak and vulnerable. You need protection-_

Sirius stops reading, looking up at Snape, “Severus, the flat is protected,” he says, “I put charms and spells the moment we found about James and Lily,” he says looking back at his husband, “Dumbledore helped.”

“Dumbledore?” Snape asks looking back at Snape.

Sirius nods, looking at Snape, “We’re safe to talk here.”

“It’s not safe for me to come back here,” Snape says quickly, “It’s too dangerous, I know it’s going to be painful and I know it’s going to make us weaker, but the Dark Lord requests that I come to him, and provide him with information, he has something he wants me to do for him, I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t come back.”

“But Severus, the rings,” Sirius says.

“I know,” Snape says, “But there’s no choice,” he mutters, “It’s not safe for you if I come back, and he will get suspicious,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “Listen to me now, very closely.”

Sirius frowns looking at Snape, wondering what he could have to say that was so important.

“We will fight against each other, I don’t know when, but it will be soon, I must implore you to fight against me if you have to, don’t hold back, any sign of weakness and the Death Eaters will exploit it, we must fight as true enemies.”

Sirius frowns, “fighting for the Death Eaters, we are nothing but enemies,” he spits out, “This is not how things are supposed to be Severus.”

Snape looks at Sirius, “I am sorry,” he says quietly.

Sirius frowns, and throws himself against Snape, wrapping his arms tight around him, “Severus, please don’t go, we can tell James and Lily, and they can help us, please Severus!”

“I must do this,” Snape says firmly.

“Severus, please,” Sirius says.

“I will send for you, when it’s safe, don’t look for me,” Snape says.

“Severus,” Sirius says, as Snape pulls away from him.

“Sirius, I have to go, McNair is expecting me, I cannot be late,” Snape hisses.

“Damnit Severus,” Sirius hisses, letting his hand release Snape’s, “You owe me a better explanation than this,” he says.

“I will contact you when it’s safe,” Snape says again, before disappearing into the fireplace.

Two days later, Sirius’s eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep, he’s just back from visiting James, he’s so tired he doesn’t notice the lack of nausea at first, as he steps out of the fireplace.

“Severus,” Sirius says shocked to see Snape in the living room.

Snape turns around quickly, staring with wide eyes at Sirius, “I didn’t expect you to be here,” he mutters.

Sirius frowns, “I live here,” he snaps, “Unlike someone else.”

“I can’t get into this with you right now,” Snape says turning back around.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sirius asks.

“I need to get something,” Snape says, pulling down his tiny golden cauldron from the shelf above his desk.

“What are you doing with that?” Sirius asks.

“Sirius, please,” Snape says turning to look over at him, “be quiet.”

“I will not be told to be quiet in my own house,” Sirius snaps loudly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Snape stops what he’s doing, turning to face Sirius, staying quiet as he watches Sirius’s frustration on his face.

“What is wrong with you?” Snape asks after a moment of silence.

“I haven’t slept in nearly three days, because this stupid ring burns me when I take it off, and then I’m constantly nauseous because you’re not here, and the ministry is convinced the way to promote bonding is to keep each other in a constant state of discomfort until their spouse returns,” Sirius snaps.

Snape looks over at Sirius, keeping his expression even, even though he too was exhausted, having not slept in three days, “I’m sorry I can’t be here right now,” Snape says watching Sirius, “but I need you to listen to me, this is extremely important,” he says.

“It’s always about you, isn’t it,” Sirius says glaring over at Snape, “What’s important to you.”

“I was under the impression that James was important to you,” Snape says watching Sirius become more frustrated the longer this conversation went on.

“James wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for you,” Sirius nearly screams at Snape, planting his foot firmly on the ground, “If you hadn’t been spying for Voldemort!”

“I was just supposed to know he would read my mind?” Snape says watching Sirius.

“Yes!” Sirius snaps, “You knew what you were getting into, you knew what he was capable of, you should have thought first!”

Snape looks back at Sirius concentrating for a moment before he lifts his wand, pointing it directly at Sirius.

“What the hell are you doing?” Sirius asks, drawing his wand, “You’re going to hex me now because you’re pissed off-“ Sirius gasps, dropping his wand, “Severus,” he gasps reaching for his head, which felt like it was throbbing from the inside out.

Snape channels his magic more forcefully, channeling all of his frustration he’d begun to feel with Sirius through him, which sends Sirius deep into Snape’s memories.

Sirius had never felt anything like this before, he was having memories that weren’t his own channeled into his head, he was seeing, no, he _was_ Snape. Snape standing before Lord Voldemort, and Voldemort was talking to him, no Voldemort was telling him what he had, no, what _Snape_ had just witnessed, but that’s not right, Voldemort wasn’t there. There’s more to the story Sirius finds himself wanting to scream, but finds himself unable to speak, he’s paralyzed by a sudden fear of having the memories pulled out of his head without his knowledge, he hadn’t, no, _Snape_ hadn’t even felt his mind being penetrated, could Voldemort do this anytime he wanted? And without his knowledge.

Sirius gasps, suddenly feeling out of breath, he takes a moment to look around, he was back in his flat, Snape was here.

“What the fuck was that?” Sirius asks trying to keep his voice from trembling.

“The night in question,” Snape replies slightly breathless, having to use a lot more energy on that magic than he expected, “The night you know everything about.”

“You were going to tell him,” Sirius says, “but you changed your mind at the last minute,” he continues, “I didn’t know Dumbledore was there.”

“Can you listen to me now please,” Snape says, “I don’t have a lot of time.”

“Severus, I-I,” Sirius stutters.

Snape sighs, “Sirius focus please.”

“I had no idea,” Sirius says looking back at Snape.

“I know you didn’t,” Snape says, “and this is the reason I never told you,” he says, “there’s no reason you should need to also live with that,” he says, “I need you to focus.”

“I-“

“Sirius now is not the time, that’s all in the past,” Snape says, “Unless you have a time-turner in your pocket and can go back to change what happened that day, I need you in the present, I need you to focus on what’s happening now, please.”

Sirius sighs heavily, and takes a deep breath, “I’m trying,” he murmurs.

Snape allows himself a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking, “There’s going to be an attack.”

“What are you talking about?” Sirius asks.

“Lucius Malfoy has been recruiting within the Ministry,” Snape says, “The Dark Lord has him recruiting from the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. They’re planning something big, and they’re planning to make it look like an accident.”

“What is it?” Sirius asks.

“He hasn’t told me,” Snape says, “he has asked me to brew an explosives potion for him, that’s why I came back for my case,” he says, “I need you to listen to me closely, are you listening?”

Sirius nods, watching Snape.

“There is a spare golden cauldron in the closet, you will need to use it,” Snape begins, “Red books will have what you need to know, should you need help brewing something,” Snape says, “There will be injuries you should have something on hand to immediately treat the minor injuries, but you should be very strategic with anything stronger than essence of dittany,” he says.

“Wait, I don’t know any healing magic,” Sirius says quickly.

“I’m not talking about healing magic, I’m talking about potions,” Snape says, “Lily will know enough healing magic,” he says, “but there are some things that she will need that she can’t work without, starting with the essence of dittany, using the spare golden cauldron should brew it quickly enough should you run out of your reserves.”

“Reserves?” Sirius asks.

“Sirius, please pay attention, this is extremely important,” Snape says, “You’ll need to begin brewing the essence of dittany, right away, people will be hurt in this attack, and the more prepared you are the better off you’ll all be,” Snape says, “You’ll find everything on the shelves there,” he says pointing to the shelves over his desk, “be very careful to look at the labels on the jars, and not just the pictures in the book, using nightleaf instead of aconite could have deadly consequences,” he continues.

“When is this happening?” Sirius interrupts.

“I don’t know for sure,” Snape says, “but from what I understand, soon,” he says.

“How am I supposed to prepare with such little information,” Sirius says.

“You just start working, now, as quickly as you can,” Snape says, “And Sirius,” he says looking back at his husband.

“What?” Sirius sighs heavily.

“You mustn’t show me any mercy when we meet during battle,” Snape says.

Sirius stares with wide eyes back at Snape, “Battle?”

“I cannot stress this enough,” Snape says, “When we meet you must fight me, and not hold back, I will have to fight against you when we meet and as difficult as it may be, it is imperative for both your and my safety that we fight as true enemies,” Snape says, “You cannot show me any mercy, and I cannot show you any mercy.”

“I don’t want-“

“It doesn’t matter what you want Sirius,” Snape says firmly, “This is the most important thing, you must fight me when we meet in battle, it is the only way to guarantee we live another day, if anyone were to even suspect you weren’t fighting me to your full potential, the consequences could be dire.”

Sirius sighs again, “Okay,” he says after a moment, “I hope I never meet you out there,” he says quietly.

Snape swallows looking back at Sirius, “I’ll find you again, when it’s safe,” Snape says, “It may not be safe for me to come back here again, but I’ll find you.”

Sirius nods, watching Snape for a moment before launching himself forward, wrapping his arms around Snape’s neck, he doesn’t know what to say, but he knows he doesn’t want to let go of Snape, but before Sirius could grasp this thought, Snape was pushing him away.

“I have to go,” Snape says, taking his case with him, as he walks back to the fireplace, looking back at Sirius with what Sirius could only describe as fear, before disappearing.

By the following evening, Sirius has bottled nearly two dozen phials of Essence of Dittany, placing them in a lockbox he kept sealed with a spell. He didn’t need James or Remus stopping by unannounced and asking why he needed so many phials of healing potions. He couldn’t think of any excuse that wouldn’t bring Severus into the conversation and that wouldn’t keep Severus out of trouble with the Death Eaters.

Just as Sirius is placing a phial into the lockbox, he hears the fireplace whir from behind him. Sirius quickly seals the box, and places it under the desk, quickly shoving the cauldron under the table as well.

“Sirius,” a frantic panting came from the fireplace.

Sirius turns around, “What is it?” he asks turning to see James stepping out of the fireplace, with a large lump hanging off his shoulder.

“Help me,” James rasps, stumbling out of the fire nearly crumpling to his knees.

“Merlin, what happened?” Sirius asks rushing over to the fireplace where James was kneeling over Peter Pettigrew, “Peter,” he gasps in shock.

“I went to check on him,” James says quickly, “found him like this, have you heard from him in the last few days?”

Sirius shakes his head, “Is he…”

“No, I don’t think so,” James says quickly, “Just unconscious, but I’m not sure how long he’s been this way.”

Sirius looks down at Peter, his face was swollen to the size of a quaffle and he looked as if he’d taken a beating with a beater's bat.

“His nose is broken, cheekbones too,” Sirius says examining Peter closer, “He needs uh,” he stammers before quickly running over to Snape’s desk, searching for a red phial. Sirius was shocked to see that Snape had a phial, he quickly takes the cork out of the bottle kneeling over Peter as he pours the deep red potion down his throat.

“What’s that?” James asks.

“Blood potion,” Sirius says, “Snape was always the ‘prepared’ type, said you never knew what could happen at any moment, and being prepared for the worst could save lives,” Sirius mutters, “Hate to think that bastard could have ever been right.”

Sirius sighs, relieved when Peter’s cheeks begin to pinken again, “Fuck Peter, what have you gotten yourself into?” he mutters, before going to the shelves, pulling down a purple phial along with a phial of dittany essence. Sirius begins to pour the potions over Peter’s scraps and cuts on his face, and arms.

“Now what?” James asks looking at Sirius.

“I suppose we just have to wait until he wakes up,” Sirius mutters.

James sits back on his heels looking at Peter, watching as the wounds begin to heal, hoping that they hadn’t been too late.

“You think that the Death Eaters got to him?” Sirius asks quietly.

James swallows thickly, but nods, “I think that’s the only people who would have had wanted to do this to him,” he murmurs, “He’s our best friend, and they’re looking for me.”

“I’m your best mate,” Sirius says firmly, “Why wouldn’t they come for me?”

“You know, Peter can’t protect himself the same way we can Sirius,” James says, “he’s the weakest.”

Sirius sighs heavily, watching Peter, hoping he would say something idiotic just so that Sirius knew he was going to be alright.

“I think you also being married to Snape makes it harder for them to get to you too,” James says quietly.

Sirius scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Snape’s gone,” he says, “Been gone for over a week now,” Sirius says, “Haven’t seen or heard from him,” Sirius says wondering why it was so easy to lie to James like this.

James frowns, “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“Just what I said,” Sirius says, “Snape’s gone,” he says firmly, “I came home one day and he’d taken a trunk, and almost all of his potion things, I guess he only took the important things,” Sirius says, gesturing to the half-empty wall of potion ingredients, “I sent Dot to look for him, but Dot came back with the letter,” he says, “he hasn’t been to work either apparently.”

“That can’t be right,” James says, “Your married, the rings,” he says.

Sirius looks down at his ring, pulling it off to show the burn marks from when he attempted to stop wearing the ring. Sirius quickly puts the ring back on, “and yes it’s true, the magic makes you feel ill and weaker the longer you go without seeing your spouse,” he mutters.

James looks back at Sirius, “Do you think he’s…”

Sirius shakes his head, “I don’t think he’s dead, I think the magic would have stopped working had he died,” he says, “because we wouldn’t be magically linked anymore. He’s alive and out there somewhere.”

James blinks back at Sirius, “He’s gone with the Death Eaters?” he asks in a low whisper.

Sirius shrugs, “He always followed the Dark Arts in school,” he says, “All I know is that he better hope I don’t find out where he’s been, or I’ll kill him myself.”

James stays quiet for a while, unsure of what to even say at this point, he couldn’t imagine what Sirius was going through, and he honestly didn’t know what to say to him.

“James,” Sirius says looking over at his friend.

“Hmm?” James answers.

“You don’t think this was a warning, do you?” Sirius asks.

James frowns, “What do you mean?” he asks.

“Peter,” Sirius says, “you don’t think hurting him wasn’t their way of…making a move, per se?”

James frowns, “What are you talking about Pads?”

Sirius swallows thickly, “Have you heard from Remus?” he asks quietly.

James shakes his head, “No,” he murmurs.

Sirius looks over at James, “Frank?” he asks.

James shakes his head.

“Alice? Marry? Fabian? Emmeline?” Sirius asks quickly.

James looks at Sirius, “I haven’t heard from any of them, in days,” he says.

“James,” Sirius says jumping up, “What if this wasn’t an isolated incident,” he says, “We’ve got to make contact with them immediately,” he says, rushing into the bedroom, grabbing his knapsack, before pushing the rest of the phials of potions from the wall into the bag, before placing the lockbox inside.

“Sirius, you’ve gone mad,” James says firmly, “we can’t leave Peter, he’s a mess.”

“He’ll be safe here,” Sirius says, “Come on, we need to find Moony, he’ll know what’s going on,” Sirius says, slinging the bag over his shoulder, “Come on James!” he cries.

“Sirius think about this for a moment,” James says.

“There’s no time,” Sirius snaps, “Come on James!” Sirius says, grabbing some Floo Powder.

James sighs, but leaves Peter on the sofa, following Sirius. He thought Sirius was completely mad, but he didn’t trust Sirius on his own right now.

“Where are we even going?” James asks, stepping into the fire beside Sirius.

“Leaky Cauldron,” Sirius calls, throwing the dust down, igniting themselves in green flames, and immediately being transported to Diagon Alley.

James coughs as he steps out of the fire, he hated Floo Powder.

“James!” A frantic voice calls out, and a young witch with red hair rushes over to the fireplace.

“Marlene,” Sirius says stepping out of the fire, “what’s going on here?” he asks looking around at the pub which looked like it had been turned into a hospital wing. Cots lay across the floor, bandages, and blood littered the floor, and witches and wizards were all over, many with injuries.

“What’s happened here?” James asks frantically.

“The Apothecary,” Marlene says quickly, “There’s been an accident,” she says, “Someone said there was a fire, someone else said there was a wizard in a dark cloak, someone else said they saw Voldemort himself,” she says, “No one knows what happened.”

Sirius looks over at James, “Death Eaters,” he says.

“You saw Death Eaters?” Marlene asks frantically.

“No,” Sirius says, “But someone hurt Peter,” he says, “He was barely alive when James found him today, there’s no way this is all coincidence.”

“What would Death Eaters want with Peter?” Marlene asks.

Sirius looks from Marlene to James before turning back to her, “What can we do to help?” Sirius asks, “Where’s Lily?”

“She’s over there, with the injured people,” Marlene says.

Sirius turns away hurrying over to the opposite side of the pub, “Lily,” Sirius says, taking off his bag, kneeling beside Lily who was tending to a broken arm.

“Sirius,” Lily says surprised, "What are you doing here?” she asks.

“We came to help,” Sirius says, “What do you need?” he asks, rummaging through his bag, pulling out a bottle of wound cleaning potion, handing it to Lily.

Lily looks at the phial before looking back at Sirius, “Where did you get this?” she asks.

“Made it,” Sirius says, “Just in case,” he murmurs, “now tell me, what do you need.”

Lily wants to press Sirius with more questions, but instead, “Essence of Dittany, Murtlap essence if you have it,” she says, “Calming Draught, and Valerian infusion.”

Sirius taps his wand against his lockbox, pulling out a dozen phials of Essence of Dittany, four phials of Murtlap essence, a single calming draught, and two phials of Skel-e-Grow, setting them on the floor in front of Lily, “If I can find a cauldron I could make some Valerian infusion for you,” he says, “but this is what I have on hand.”

Lily looks down at the potions on the floor, before looking up at Sirius, wanting so badly to ask him where he got all these potions, wanting to thank him for being prepared, “What else have you got in that bag, Sirius?”

Sirius swallows, he knew showing Lily what was in his bag, might implicate Snape, but he knew that he needed to help these people, “I used the only blood potion on Peter,” Sirius says.

“Peter?” Lily asks, “What happened to Peter?”

“Not sure,” Sirius says, “James found him unconscious, beat half to death,” he murmurs, “I used my other potions on him, he’s back at mine.”

“I should go check on him,” Lily says rising.

“Lily, no,” Sirius says firmly, “These people need you more than Peter, right now,” he insists, “I did what I could with him, he’s on the mend, you need to stay here.”

Lily sighs, “You’re right,” she says, picking up the essence of dittany, looking at Sirius for a brief moment, before moving down the row of cots to start tending to the injured.

Sirius sighs turning away, at the moment the door opens and a blonde witch cries, “Death Eaters!”

Sirius looks over at James, as the witch continues screaming, “In the Alley, Death Eaters!”

James looks back at Sirius, and says nothing as he draws his wand, and runs past the witch into the Alley, Sirius following immediately behind him with his wand drawn.

The sky was dark and the air crisp, as Sirius stands beside James, watching as five Death Eaters in masks, walk through the Alley, making their way toward the Leaky Cauldron.

Sirius pulls his wand, watching as the Death Eaters, curse anyone in their way, enjoying the chaos they were creating.

“Surrender on the orders of Lord Voldemort,” one Death Eater says, drawing his wand.

“We’ll never surrender to you, McNair,” James cries, pointing his wand directly at the Death Eaters.

Sirius follows suit, pointing his wand, hoping that he wasn’t wielding his wand at his husband. Not even registering the fact that the nausea he was still feeling, meant Snape wasn’t anywhere near him.

“Stupefy!”

Sirius isn’t sure who cast the spell, but he fires back a knockback jinx across at the Death Eaters, knocking the smaller one on his back.

Several Witches and Wizards run from the pub and begin to duel with the Death Eaters alongside James and Sirius.

The dueling lasts for what feels like hours, but couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes, more Death Eaters arriving with every passing minute. Spells flying off one another, shooting through glass windows, causing the patrons of Diagon Alley to seek cover under anything they could. Several shield charms all fire off at once, causing the Death Eaters spells to fly back at themselves, stunning several of their own.

“Nice one James!” Sirius cries, sending another stunner back at Death Eaters.

Just when Sirius thinks the Death Eaters might just give up, he can feel a shudder run down his spine. The sky turns darker than it had been in months, and out of the sky floated down a visible cloud of black dust, and Sirius just knew this couldn’t be happening.

The black cloud turns into the visible form of Severus Snape, who was wearing black robes, and a Death Eater mask. The only indication that this was his husband was the fact that Sirius’s body reacted to being in close contact with his spouse.

“Depulso.”

“Immobulus!”

Sparks flying from both wand tips. Snape points his wand back at Sirius, being sure to catch Sirius’s curses with the tip of his wand, tossing them away before shooting back his curses, making sure to aim directly at his husband, who was just as good at blocking Snape’s spells with counter curses, Snape was very impressed, but also very annoyed.

“Reducto!” Sirius cries, his spell catching Snape square in the shoulder, knocking him off balance, back onto the ground. Snape had tripped backward over the body of another stunned Death Eater. Snape looks down at his shoulder, he was bleeding. A lot. Sirius could see the blood even on Snape's dark cloak, and his first instinct is to run to his husband, but he doesn't and he tries his best to hide the emotions on his face, knowing he'd just physically injured his husband.

Snape groans in pain, pointing his wand back at Sirius, catching him in the stomach with a silent spell, causing Sirius to fall backward, as the second spell was coming out of his mouth. The spell knocking Sirius off balance, causing Sirius’s wand to slip from his hand, but not before the misfired spell knocks off Snape’s Death Eater mask. Leaving the thin wizard on the ground unmasked and bleeding.

Sirius stares back at Snape, he says nothing to his husband, instead reaches for his wand which had rolled somewhere behind him.

Before either could say anything to the other, or fire another spell, the streets are full of shouting once again, “Fall back!”

Snape looks up over his shoulder, quick to see two masked Death Eaters running to his side, grabbing him by either arm, before apperating him away.

Two days later Sirius is back at his flat, having spent the previous night with Peter, and Remus at James and Lily’s house, sleeping in the spare bedroom, letting Peter sleep on the bed as he was still recovering from his injuries, while Sirius opted to sleep on the floor curled up against Remus’s familiar form.

Sirius is sitting on the sofa, curled up with the radio on, reading a copy of _Seeker Weekly_ when Dot comes into the window hooting loudly, as he drops a letter onto Sirius’s lap.

Sirius gently scratches Dot on the top of the head, before shooting him off. Sirius looks down at the letter, he knew that Handwriting, it was from Snape. Sirius opens the envelope, which only had his name on the front and no other identifiers.

Inside the envelope, there was only a single sheet of folded over parchment, which read, _North Pier, Blackpool, Lancashire, England._

This letter confused Sirius, but if he was right and it was from Snape, then he knew he needed to go there straight away. Sirius gets up, walking over to the fireplace, he knew of a shop in Blackpool, where he could take the floo.

Sirius steps out of the fireplace, and walks outside, immediately disapperating to the North pier where he assumed, he would meet Snape. Sirius looks around walking to the edge of the pier, completely aware of the fact that Snape was nowhere near here, and he sighs in frustration.

No sooner than Sirius began to curse Snape’s name, did the cracking noise from behind him, tell him that someone had just apparated here, but before Sirius could even see who it was, he was being grabbed, and taken along as they were disapperating once again.

A moment later Sirius stumbles as he is firmly planted back on the ground, his knees buckling, but being caught at the same moment, by a pair of thin arms, which kept him from falling to the ground.

“What the fuck,” Sirius swears, looking up to finally see Snape standing there.

Snape looks down at Sirius, helping him stand before releasing him, “I had to make sure we wouldn’t be followed, and that it was safe for me to even contact you.”

Sirius stares back at Snape, he was in shock, he didn’t know what to say to him, “Thank Merlin, you’re alright!” he cries, wrapping his arms tightly around Snape, “I thought I’d really hurt you,” he admits, clinging onto his husband.

Snape grimaces wishing Sirius would let him go, “I’m fine,” he murmurs, “it was very convincing to the others, so well done,” he says, “they think we hate each other and think I know more than I’m letting on and believe that I’m now willing to betray you, so I think we’ll be safe for a little while.”

Sirius frowns letting go of Snape to get a better look at him, “Where have you been?” he asks.

“All over,” Snape replies, “Mostly I’ve been staying with Avery and McNair,” he says.

“Where are we now?” Sirius asks looking around, they were on the outskirts of some town, in the forest.

“Scotland,” Snape replies, “Don’t worry about where we are, it’s safer that you don’t know.”

Sirius frowns, “Severus, what is going on?” he asks.

Snape looks back at Sirius, “Were many injured?” he asks.

Sirius looks back at Snape, “Minor injuries mostly,” he says, “Peter’s still recovering along with some others.”

Snape frowns, “What happened to Pettigrew?”

Sirius shrugs, “He was attacked, James brought him to me, I did what I could to help him, he’s up now, but still bruised.”

“Who attacked him?” Snape asked.

“I assume Death Eaters,” Sirius says, “He can’t remember, so we can’t know for sure.”

Snape looks back at Sirius, “You still have strong fighters?” he asks.

Sirius nods, “though I wouldn’t necessarily say Peter was our strongest fighter,” he mutters.

“I overheard Crabbe talking, they’re planning another attack,” Snape says looking over at Sirius, “It’s going to happen next Saturday evening after the moon rises.”

Sirius frowns, “But next Saturday is the full moon, Remus won’t be able to fight with us, he’s one of our strongest.”

“Sirius,” Snape says looking at his husband, “Think about what you just said.”

“Remus can’t fight with us?” Sirius asks with a frown.

“Because of the full moon,” Snape says hoping Sirius was catching on.

“What are you saying?” Sirius asks, “Werewolves are fighting next Saturday?” he asks.

Snape says nothing but lets out a heavy breath.

“Merlin, you can’t be serious,” Sirius says shocked.

“You’ll need powdered silver and dittany,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “And you’ll want to have it on hand.”

Sirius stares back at Snape with wide eyes, “How many werewolves are we talking about?”

“Two dozen,” Snape says.

“Two dozen werewolves?!” Sirius asks shocked, “Where do you even find that many werewolves?!”

“I think two packs sort of merged to form one big pack, but that’s not important right now Sirius,” Snape says, “What’s important is that they will not discriminate, you need to make sure you have this mixture of powdered silver and dittany on hand, you’ll want to treat those bitten immediately.”

“This is all happening too fast!” Sirius says quickly.

“That’s the point,” Snape says, “He doesn’t want any time for recovery, knowing that your numbers are down, now is the perfect time to strike.”

“But-“

“This is not negotiable Sirius,” Snape says, “You need to be able to act quickly.”

Sirius sighs, running his fingers through his hair, “This is so wrong Severus,” he says.

“I know,” Snape says looking back at Sirius, “but your side is outnumbered.”

Sirius looks back at Snape, he knew his side was outnumbered, but hearing Snape say it meant that the Death Eaters knew their side was outnumbered, which could only mean bad things for them.

“Severus,” Sirius says lowering his voice.

“Yes?” Snape asks.

“Take care of yourself,” Sirius says quietly.

Snape looks over at Sirius, “Stay safe,” he says, “Remember powdered Silver and Dittany.”

Sirius nods, looking at Snape for a moment before throwing himself against Snape, wrapping his arms tight around him, pressing his lips against Snape’s kissing him firmly.

Snape is caught by surprise but allows this for a few moments before pushing Sirius back, “Sirius please.”

Sirius sighs heavily, “Please take care of yourself,” Sirius murmurs looking up at Snape.

“You too,” Snape says, looking back at Sirius before disapperating away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, who's been reading this!!! You all mean so much to me!!! I am so grateful that you've been enjoying this content! and I hope you all continue enjoying the content I've written! Thank you to everyone who's been engaging with me in the comment section!! Thank you to all of you who leave kudos, and to those of you who just stop by and give me your time by just reading!!! Thank you all so much!!!! I appreciate each and every one of you!!!! <3


	9. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of October 31, 1981, unfold and the following week is spent dealing with the aftermath of decisions made years before, and the consequences of certain actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all been leading up to this... All of those questions you've had from previous chapters are about to be answered!   
> And without further ado, we reach the climax of the story!

October 31, 1981

“You promised!” Snape cries, “You promised you’d keep them safe!”

“I did everything I could,” Dumbledore says, “They put their trust in the wrong person, much like yourself Severus.”

“She’s gone,” Snape sobs, doing his best to keep himself standing.

“Severus, I need you to remember the promise you made to me,” Dumbledore says, “I need you now to do exactly as I say.”

“Professor,” Snape sighs.

“Severus, this is important,” Dumbledore says, “Lily’s son, is not safe.”

“The Dark Lord is gone now,” Snape says looking up at the elder wizard.

“Voldemort will return,” Dumbledore says, “I need you to remember your promise you made to me, and I need you to go find your husband, Lily’s son will need someone to raise him, Sirius is his legal Godfather, find him for me.”

“But-“

“Now Severus, this needs to be done now,” Dumbledore says firmly, “I’m having the child brought to me as we speak, now please, take this portkey to your home,” he says holding out a small water goblet, “I will call upon you again tonight.”

Snape sighs heavily, straightening himself up before taking the goblet from Professor Dumbledore, and immediately being transported to his flat.

“Sirius,” Snape calls out, looking around the flat which looked just as he left it when he left this afternoon. Snape walks into the bedroom, and with no sign of Sirius, he begins to worry. Where would he have gone? James was dead. Did Sirius know? Where would he go?

Snape sighs, he had absolutely no idea where to begin to look for Sirius, but he did know someone who might know. Snape disapperated to a cottage on the outskirts of the city. He’d been ordered here exactly one time, to collect Peter Pettigrew for a task the Dark Lord couldn’t complete without him. Snape unlocks the door using his wand and steps inside, lighting his wand as he looks around.

Snape doesn’t look around long before becoming frustrated and storming back outside. It was this exact moment that a loud crash and horns blaring shook Snape from behind, causing him to be knocked off balance and falling onto the step, tearing his robes in the process. Snape looks up and sees smoke and what appears to be flames coming from the street behind the cottage. Snape gets up and starts running through the side streets until he was staring at a giant crater and bodies lying all around him.

“Sirius,” Snape gasps, seeing Sirius on his hands and knees, clothes ripped to shreds, having been at what appeared to be the epicenter of the explosion. Snape runs over to Sirius, putting his hand on his shoulder, “Sirius, are you alright?” he asks frantically, wondering if he had been hurt.

“Get off,” Sirius scowls, pushing Snape back as he continues crawling on his hands and knees, “Get back here you fucking coward!”

Snape topples over when Sirius pushes him, “Damnit Sirius,” he swears, pushing himself up. It’s this moment when he notices that other people are starting to draw in from nearby streets.

“Sirius,” Snape says frantically, grabbing onto his shoulder, “Get up, come on,” he hisses before thinking quickly and pulling out his wand, and preforming a disillusionment charm over the two of them.

“I said get off!” Sirius cries.

“Stop it,” Snape says pulling Sirius up, “We’ll be seen,” he hisses.

“Get out of here!” Sirius cries, “I need to find that dirty rat!”

“Sirius, look around you!” Snape insists, “People are dead!”

“Including James and Lily!” Sirius cries, “Fucking Pettigrew,” Sirius says with a furry that Snape had never seen before.

Snape stares at Sirius, “Pettigrew did this?”

“Of course, he did he’s a bloody fucking coward, who runs away when things get rough, who betrays his fucking friends, who treated him like family!”

The sounds of sirens alert Snape that they are out of time, they have to get out of here, now.

“Sirius, we have to go,” Snape says pulling on Sirius’s arm, “We have to go now.”

“I’m not going anywhere until I find that fucking rat!”

Snape looks around, there were at least a dozen dead bodies, and even more injured and there was a crowd starting to gather, there was no way they could get out, even with the disillusionment charm on the two of them, “Sirius please,” he says, “I will help you find Pettigrew, but you must come with me now, please,” Snape’s voice breaks, as he looks at Sirius, whose eyes were the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen before in his entire life, and he had seen the Dark Lord giddy with glee before, “You won’t be able to find Pettigrew if you’re in muggle prison, or worse, Azkaban,” Snape says watching Sirius, “Please, come with me now.”

Sirius looks around seeing all the attention they had drawn in, “Let’s get out of here,” he mutters quickly walking off behind two tall buildings, glancing over his shoulder seeing an ambulance pulling up to the scene of the explosion, sighing heavily as he catches a glimpse of Snape following behind him solemnly.

“Why are we back here?” Snape asks, seeing that Sirius had brought them back to Pettigrew’s house.

“We need to get home,” Sirius mutters going inside and walking to the fireplace.

Snape sighs, walking up behind Sirius as he grabs a handful of Floo powder.

Sirius throws down the floo powder and the fireplace erupts into green flames, as they’re transported back to their flat.

Snape steps out of the fireplace followed by Sirius, who knocks over the end table in frustration upon stepping out of the fireplace.

“You’re hurt,” Snape says when they arrive back to their flat.

“I’m fine,” Sirius insists.

“You’re not,” Snape says firmly, sitting Sirius down on the sofa, “Let me see,” he says turning Sirius’s bleeding cheek with a trembling hand.

“Severus,” Sirius grits out.

“Shut up,” Snape says, “Let me clean these,” he says before picking up a purple phial from the shelf, kneeling onto the floor in front of Sirius at the same time conjuring a pile of bandages

“Is that broken?” Snape asks, noticing the way Sirius was gingerly holding his hand close to his body.

“I don’t think so,” Sirius mutters as Snape applies some potion to his wounds on his head, “Just sprained I think.”

Snape sighs softly before tapping Sirius’s wrist with his wand.

Sirius looks down at his wrist, which felt much better now, “I didn’t realize you were so good at healing magic,” he mutters.

“I didn’t just study dark magic,” Snape says looking up at Sirius before turning his eyes back down to finish tending to his wounds.

It was after midnight, and Snape was sitting on the sofa when Dumbledore came out of the fireplace. Snape couldn’t hear a thing he was saying, there was a loud ringing in his ears, and he doesn’t say anything when Dumbledore hands him the infant Snape knew to be Lily’s son. Snape stares down at the infant child now sat in his arms, and all he can see are her eyes, and the tears make their way to his own eyes and it takes everything inside Snape not to allow himself to cry. The baby was quiet right now, and the last thing Snape wanted was for the baby to begin crying, he didn’t think he could handle that on top of everything else tonight.

Sirius begins telling Dumbledore about everything. Everything that had happened that night, everything that had led to this, how Peter Pettigrew was a traitor and got James and Lily killed. He told Dumbledore everything he knew for fact and everything he suspected. It was nearly two in the morning when Dumbledore leaves with all of this new information and leaves the baby, Harry Potter, with Sirius and Snape. By this time Sirius had appeared to calm down, enough to see that Snape was barely holding it together.

“Severus,” Sirius says softly as not to frighten him.

Snape looks up at Sirius, he can’t find his voice, and even if he could, he isn’t sure what to say. Snape looks at Sirius, and it’s this moment that he realizes he’s holding a baby cot, something that Snape had never seen before. This for some reason that Snape could not explain, causes him for the first time, to cradle the baby closer to him, as he looks at Sirius with confusion.

“Can you give me Harry?” Sirius asks holding his arms out.

Snape gets up, backing away from Sirius, Dumbledore had given him Harry to take care of, he made a promise, and he was all that was left of Lily, he wasn’t going to give Sirius this baby.

“Okay,” Sirius says looking over at Snape, “Can you put the baby in the cot then? If you don’t want to give him to me?”

Snape stares at Sirius and shakes his head, he wasn’t going to put the baby down, what if he started crying?

Sirius sighs softly, “You took care of me earlier when I truly needed it,” he says, “and you’ve been taking care of Harry since Dumbledore handed him to you, someone needs to take care of you now,” he murmurs.

Snape says nothing and continues holding the baby against his chest, watching Sirius move the baby cot between the two of them.

“Can you just put Harry in the cot?” Sirius asks, “I-I need to take care of my husband, and I can’t do that while you’re holding the baby,” he sighs softly, “please Severus.”

Snape stands still for what feels like ten full minutes staring at Sirius as he holds the baby. When Snape’s hands begin to tremble, he gently lowers the infant into the cot, and much to his surprise the baby was asleep.

Sirius walks over to Snape and puts his arms around him, squeezing him tightly as his emotions begin to rise to the surface.

“Lily,” Snape whispers as the tears finally break the surface, and he allows Sirius to comfort him at this moment.

Snape doesn’t sleep that night, instead, he lies on the floor beside the baby’s cot, watching to make sure he doesn’t wake up, all Snape could keep thinking was that the baby, Harry, was all that was left of Lily, his only true friend.

When Harry did wake up, he made the faintest of cries, before Snape quickly sits up, picking him up out of the cot and cradling him in his arms, looking down at the infant who was cooing more frequently. Snape wasn’t sure if this noise meant something, or if babies just made noises like this all the time.

Sirius gently places his hand on Snape’s shoulder, and Snape turns to look at him. Sirius holds out a bowl of mashed carrots, “I think it’s been a while since he’s eaten,” Sirius says softly.

Snape immediately frowns and his eyes turn red with the threat of tears, how could he have forgotten that babies needed feedings so often? This was Lily’s son, and he was about to starve him. Snape takes the bowl from Sirius, using a levitation spell to keep the bowl nearby, so he could keep one hand holding the baby, while he spoon feeds Harry, who ate eagerly, even bouncing in Snape’s grasp as he was being fed.

“I can help you,” Sirius says softly, sitting down beside Snape.

“I’ve got it,” Snape mumbles, continuing to feed Harry until the bowl was empty.

Sirius doesn’t say anything, he just takes the empty bowl to the kitchen and washes up.

Snape sighs softly, watching Harry as he reaches out toward his face, grasping onto Snape’s nose, squeezing hard and giggling, in a way only an infant could. Snape frowns in discomfort but doesn’t stop Harry or say anything as Harry continues squeezing his nose and poking at his face.

“He’s got your nose, Severus,” Sirius smiles, walking into the room a moment later. Snape looks over at Sirius, and for the first time since last night, a tiny smile breeches his lips.

Harry begins to babble and turn in Snape’s arms, and even though Snape didn’t want to, he sensed that if he didn’t let Harry down he would start crying, and that was definitely the last thing he wanted to happen. Snape sighs softly as he sets Harry down on the floor, and watches the baby begin to crawl over the floor of their bedroom, exploring the new place.

Sirius sits down beside Snape, watching Harry explore under the bed, and crawl into the closet, looking around.

“I’ll get him,” Sirius says gently placing his hand on Snape’s knee when he makes a move to pick up Harry to stop him from playing with Sirius’s shoes.

“No,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “I’ll get him.”

Sirius sighs, watching Snape pick up Harry. Snape picks up Harry and begins to look around when he heard buzzing above his head.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius frowns, getting up to see what Snape was looking at.

“He’s doing magic,” Snape says softly.

Sirius smiles looking above their heads, “Look at that,” he grins, leaning over and tickling Harry’s back, causing the baby to coo and giggle, in Snape’s arms, as three golden snitches float above their heads.

“I think he saw the shiny things and wanted to play with them,” Snape says.

Sirius smiles, “He’ll be a quidditch player, just like his Godfather,” he smiles watching Harry.

Snape looks at Sirius for a moment and suddenly realizes this isn’t his child, no matter how much he looked like Lily, he wasn’t Lily, and Sirius was his legal guardian, and Snape hadn’t even let Sirius hold him since they had been presented with this infant. Snape looks over at Sirius and holds out the baby with a trembling hand.

Sirius smiles looking at Snape, as he takes Harry from him, “Hi Harry,” Sirius smiles with a small glint of tears in his eye.

Snape reaches his hand out, catching the golden snitches as they begin to fall from the sky, where they’d been floating a moment ago. Snape looks over to see Harry preoccupied grasping onto Sirius’s nose and laughing, very pleased with himself. Snape gently tucks the snitches into Sirius’s basket of old Quidditch things, all while baby Harry giggles and bounces in Sirius’s arms.

Snape takes some personal time off work, following the events of Halloween. He tells himself it’s for Sirius, he doesn’t want Sirius left on his own with the baby in case Sirius suddenly needed to breakdown, though Snape knew that given what he’d witnessed and helped put into play, he was afraid he was going to lose himself if he was around too many people right now.

It was three days later when Sirius put Harry down for a nap, in their bedroom after feeding him some mashed banana. Harry was sleeping in a cot, in their bedroom on Snape’s side of the bed and Snape would get up in the middle of the night if Harry got fussy while Sirius watched Snape.

Snape didn’t talk to Harry, at all really, but Harry didn’t seem to mind when Snape would just hold him for a few minutes, before putting him back down in his cot. Reflectively, Sirius would talk to Harry anytime he picked him up and Harry didn’t seem to mind this either. Sirius would bounce him gently and coo softly, and baby talk with him. Harry seemed content with both of these interactions, and neither seemed to upset him until Sirius put him down for his nap three days after Halloween.

Snape was cleaning the kitchen when Sirius steps out of the bedroom, walking into the kitchen and leans against the kitchen table, watching as Snape puts away the dishes.

“Is he asleep?” Snape asks as he scourgifies the kitchen surfaces.

“Yeah,” Sirius says, as Snape turns around to face him.

“What’s wrong?” Snape asks watching Sirius curiously.

“Nothing,” Sirius says quickly, “I just,” he sighs.

“Just what?” Snape asks.

Sirius sighs, “Well, I’ve been a bit reluctant, because it means what happened is real, and I haven’t been ready to face that fact yet, but I think it’s time we gave Harry a proper room because this is his home now.”

Snape watches Sirius but says nothing, he too had been feeling as if they kept Harry’s cot in their bedroom, they could pretend that he was just visiting and that made it so that Lily was still alive.

“I’m just going to pack it all away,” Sirius continues, “Regulus’s things, he won’t be coming back for them now,” he sighs looking away, “But I would like if you helped me put some things in there for Harry.”

Snape looks over Sirius’s shoulder, at their bedroom, where the baby was sleeping, and he knows that they need to do this, but it doesn’t make it any easier for him.

“Do it now then?” Snape asks.

Sirius lets out a breath he had been holding in, and nods, “it shouldn’t take long,” he says, “I just want to do a few decorations, some toys, and we can move his cot in later when he wakes up.”

“You have baby toys?” Snape asks.

Sirius swallows, “I mean, I have some things from when I was younger,” he says, “I had a stuffed hippogriff,” he says, “and some baby blankets and Regulus had some Dancing Doxies, I’m sure are still around, and I found Harry’s bear, it was just in the chair, I hadn’t given it much thought when I saw it there,” Sirius stops himself from rambling, “Just stuff like that,” he mutters.

Snape sighs, “Let’s do it then before he wakes up.”

Sirius nods, walking to the bedroom door, unsealing it with a spell and conjuring a key, sticking it into the door before turning the lock and opening the door.

It had been two years since anyone had heard from or seen Regulus, and Sirius didn’t feel like he could possibly be alive anymore, not without being seen for that long. Snape stands beside Sirius as he looks around the room, taking in the sight.

Snape knew Regulus at school and he would have agreed that this bedroom spoke to who he was, Sirius had thought of the smallest details and if Regulus ever decided he wanted something different, Snape did not doubt that this would have been a place where Regulus could have felt safe and made a transition into whatever he wanted.

Sirius is grateful that Snape doesn’t comment as he begins to pack everything into boxes, he conjured. The black sheets from the bed, followed by the pillows, and bedspread. Sirius shrinks the oversized bed so it would fit in the palm of his hand, and he places it into the box, sealing it with a spell, before waving his wand at the clutter on the large green rug on the floor, golden snitches on the dressing table, and posters of quidditch teams, and even Slytherin crests on the walls. Sirius packs away every bit of furniture in the room and stacked four boxes neatly in the corner before looking over at Snape when they were standing in an empty room.

“I can take those if you want,” Snape murmurs, gesturing to the boxes.

“I’ll take care of them next week,” Sirius says, “I need to do it.”

Snape nods, he understands Sirius wanting to take care of that himself and he wasn’t going to push the issue.

“Now,” Sirius murmurs to himself, conjuring a large sitting chair, and a bookshelf, before placing a pile of stuffed animals in one of the corners of the room.

“I thought you only had a few things,” Snape mutters, seeing the toys beginning to multiply.

“Well,” Sirius says, “I don’t know what his favorites are, so I thought we might just give him the lot.”

“Where did these come from?” Snape asks.

“Here, and there,” Sirius mutters.

Snape sighs, deciding he wasn’t going to get an answer. A few moments later, Sirius turns to Snape, “all that’s missing is the baby in the cot,” he says.

“You seemed too prepared for this,” Snape murmurs.

Sirius shrugs, “It’s my duty as Godfather to spoil the child,” he says, “So I had a few things lying around I was going to give him eventually.”

“Okay,” Snape says, even though he doesn’t believe Sirius one bit, “We’re done then?”

Sirius nods, “You think he’ll like it?” he asks.

Snape frowns, “I don’t think he’ll have an opinion.”

“Of course, he will,” Sirius says, “he just might not be able to tell us what his opinion is.”

Snape looks over at Sirius, sensing that he was looking for some validation, “I’m sure he’ll like those,” Snape says gesturing to the golden snitches fluttering away on the ceiling, “they’re…fun.”

Sirius smiles, “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said anything was fun,” he laughs, placing his arm around Snape’s waist.

Snape rolls his eyes, “I think things are fun,” he insists.

Sirius smiles, “Oh yeah?” he asks, “like what?”

“Lots of things,” Snape sighs, “I think I’m going to lie down now,” he mutters.

Sirius sighs softly, watching Snape walk across their flat into their bedroom where Harry was asleep in his cot.

Snape lies down on the bed, quietly staring at the ceiling, he still couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t slept since Halloween.

When Harry wakes up from his nap, he begins to cry from his cot and Snape sits up on the edge of the bed, picking him up cradling the baby for a moment, gently tucking the blanket around him, hoping to calm him. This was the first time Snape had heard Harry cry, really cry, and it was unsettling, to say the least.

Snape frowns watching Harry cry for a moment before getting up, deciding he probably needed changing.

“Harry’s crying,” Sirius says walking into the room.

“I think he needs changing,” Snape murmurs, looking over at Sirius.

Sirius looks down at his watch, “Why don’t we give him a bath,” he says.

“Fine,” Snape agrees, walking into the bathroom with Sirius following behind him. Sirius fills half the bath with warm water, and sudsy bubbles, while Snape pulls the onesie off of Harry, and takes off the wet nappy before handing the still crying infant to Sirius.

“It’s okay Harry,” Sirius coos, pressing an affectionate kiss to Harry’s forehead, before placing him into the bath. Which much to Sirius’s surprise, only caused Harry to cry harder.

“Why is he screaming like that?” Snape asks, frowning as Harry continues to cry.

“I don’t know,” Sirius sighs, gently pouring some warm water down Harry’s back, “Maybe he’s hungry,” he says looking over at Snape.

Snape sighs, handing Sirius a clean washcloth and a bar of soap, “Maybe he just doesn’t like the bath.”

Sirius takes the soap and cloth from Snape, “He didn’t seem to mind the bath last time,” he says, “He even liked the rubber plimpy,” he says, watching the discarded bath toy floating on the opposite side of the bath.

“He doesn’t seem to like it much now,” Snape says, watching as Sirius washes Harry in the bath.

“Maybe a different toy,” Sirius says, gently rinsing Harry’s hair.

Snape sighs picking up, what appeared to be a toy murtlap from the side of the sink, handing it to Sirius, “Why do you have these?” he asks.

“For Harry,” Sirius says taking the toy and giving it a little squeeze, hearing it squeak before holding it in front of Harry.

“You bought him child bath toys,” Snape murmurs.

“All kids like bath toys,” Sirius says watching Harry, continue to cry and show no interest in the toy.

Snape watches Sirius, “he’s still crying,” he says.

“I’m aware,” Sirius mutters.

“Just take him out, so we can feed him then,” Snape says, figuring that had to be the reason he was still crying.

“Fine,” Sirius sighs, “I think there are sweet potatoes for him.”

“I’ll sort it,” Snape says, wanting to be away from the crying right now, before leaving Sirius to finish bathing Harry.

Snape goes into the kitchen, peeling the potatoes over the sink with a spell before rinsing them in warm water, using a heating spell to get them soft before putting them in a bowl. Snape takes a large spoon and begins to mash the softened potatoes with the back of the spoon until it was a smooth puree of sweet potatoes.

Sirius comes into the kitchen a minute later holding a crying Harry, dressed in a pair of pink pajamas. Sirius places him in the highchair.

“He’s still crying,” Snape says turning around and handing Sirius the bowl of sweet potatoes he’d just made, handing him a baby spoon.

“I know,” Sirius says resisting the urge to roll his eyes at Snape.

“Come on, Harry,” Sirius coos softly, attempting to feed him but Harry only turned his face away, and began crying louder.

Snape sighs, rubbing at his forehead, as he was surely developing a headache, “Sirius,” he mutters.

“I’m trying,” Sirius says, looking over his shoulder at Snape.

“Move, let me do it,” Snape mutters.

Sirius rolls his eyes, stepping aside so that Snape could make a fool of himself in front of the baby. He hands Snape the bowl of sweet potatoes and crosses his arms over his chest.

Snape offers Harry the spoonful of sweet potatoes and gets the same response Sirius did, screaming and more tears.

“Settle down,” Snape says looking at Harry, “Settle down, it’s time to eat now.”

“He doesn’t understand what you’re saying to him,” Sirius says, “You can’t just talk to him like that.”

Snape rolls his eyes ignoring Sirius, as he tries to get the spoon into Harry’s mouth, “Settle down,” Snape says again, with the faintest inkling that Harry could understand him, “eat now, stop crying.”

“If it were only that simple Severus, everyone would have children,” Sirius says rolling his eyes, “He’s not going to eat it, just stop trying to force him.”

Snape gets up, “Take him down then,” he mutters, clearing up the kitchen.

Two hours later, Sirius is sat on the couch, and Harry hasn’t stopped crying and to make matters worse, he’s managed to ball his tiny hands into fists and the energy was making nearly everything in the room levitate off their shelves, and spin around their heads.

Sirius tries to get Harry to settle down but is unsuccessful. Harry’s magic wains enough for Snape to gather the levitating objects, and putting them back where they belonged, but the infant still cried into the early morning hours of the night.

“What’s wrong with him? Is he ill?” Snape asks.

Sirius sighs, “I doubt it,” he says, “sometimes babies just cry for no reason.”

This continued for nearly four days.

The following day Harry cried, all day, and all night, continuing to refuse to eat, falling asleep with his thumb in his mouth, during his afternoon nap. Sirius places the stuffed teddy bear in the cot beside Harry when he finally falls asleep.

The next day Harry cried all morning until Sirius attempted to feed him. Harry stopped crying long enough to eat before he started crying again.

When Harry wakes up crying the following day Snape is sure he’s going to lose it, he had one job, to keep Lily’s son safe, keep him from harm, raise him as his own, but he couldn’t even figure out why he was crying and he couldn’t make it stop.

Harry cries through his nappy changes and stops crying long enough to eat. Harry cried when they bathed him, and he cried when Snape put him in a pair of pajamas. Snape listens to Harry crying as he settles him down for the night. Snape decides to try the animals, giving Harry the stuffed hippogriff, which had no effect. He tried the bear, which only made Harry cry harder. Snape sighs softly, giving up inside. There was absolutely nothing he could do to calm this baby and this is how things were going to be from now on, and Snape couldn’t stand the sight of Lily’s son crying anymore.

Snape sighs walking around the cot, “I don’t know what you need,” he says, “You can’t tell me, and you only get more upset that I just don’t know,” he says slowly pacing the cot, looking down at Harry.

“If you just gave me a few moments of quiet, I could try to figure out what you wanted,” Snape says, “Can’t you just quiet for a few moments, so I can think?

Harry continues crying and the toys in his cot begin to levitate.

Snape sighs walking around the cot again, “I suppose that’s one way to talk,” he mutters, “but I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“It’s nearly midnight, is he still up?” Sirius sighs walking into the bedroom, his eyes were heavy and red, neither of them was sleeping with all of this crying going on. Snape had gotten used to not sleeping, but Sirius was used to getting a full six hours of sleep sometimes more depending on the day. Sirius yawns, walking past Snape, into the closet, beginning to change into a pair of pajamas, “One of Harry’s toys got lost in here,” Sirius says walking out of the closet, holding a stuffed knarl and placing it inside the cot beside the baby.

Snape frowns, watching as Harry’s screams turn to frustrated whining, as he picks up the stuffed toy, and his whining turns into soft whimpering.

“Thank Merlin, he’s going to sleep,” Sirius mutters, crawling into bed. Snape sighs softly, Harry was settling down for the first time in almost a week, there was no way he could take away the stuffed animal. Snape sighs, thinking that he could allow Lily’s son to keep it if it’s what made him happy.

In the morning Sirius feeds Harry, and Harry cries until Sirius places him back in his cot beside his teddy bear, and he cries again when separated from his cot when having his nappy changed and quieted down when reunited with his cot.

“At least he’s getting a little less fussy,” Sirius mutters, when he places Harry down in his cot after dinner, “Are you going to give that back to Harry?” Sirius asks watching Snape sitting on the edge of the bed, holding the stuffed knarl, which Harry was reaching for over the edge of his cot.

“This isn’t Harry’s,” Snape mutters.

Sirius frowns, “He sure wants it like it’s his,” he says.

“Children always want things that don’t belong to them,” Snape says looking over at Sirius, “This was never Harry’s, it was mine,” he mumbles, looking down at the toy gently stroking the quills.

Sirius frowns, “Yours?” he asks, “You had stuffed animals?”

“When I was young,” Snape says, “My mother gave it to me, I was five, and I saw my father push my mother, she fell and I started crying,” he mutters, “She bought me this, and said it would keep me safe, when my dad got angry,” Snape sighs, “I suppose it fell out of the box when Harry was levitating things in here the other day, I didn’t notice,” he says.

Sirius sits down on the bed beside Snape, “I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I had no idea.”

“You had no reason to know that,” Snape says, “I don’t blame you,” he says finally holding out the knarl to Harry, who grabbed it quickly, and began to squeeze it, as he sits down in his cot, “I just saw it, and it brought back those memories.”

“You don’t have to let him keep it,” Sirius says.

Snape sighs, “He likes it,” he says, “maybe he’ll make better memories with it than I did.”

Sirius looks over at Snape, and wraps his arms around his waist, “You’re so sweet with him.”

Snape sighs, “I think he’s realized, she’s not coming back,” he says solemnly.

Sirius looks at Snape but doesn’t say anything.

“He’s grieving them,” Snape murmurs, “He can sense something’s not right, and he hasn’t seen them, and we’re both sad.”

“I try not to get upset around him,” Sirius says softly.

“You’re fairly easy to read,” Snape murmurs softly, “but that doesn’t matter, because he knows their gone, he doesn’t understand what’s happened, but he knows it’s not the same as it was for him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you again to everyone who's been following along with this story! I can't say how much I appreciate all of your time and support! Thank you all again so much! All of your support has made sharing and posting this only more enjoyable! <3


	10. What’s yours is mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Snape are both adjusting to being new parents. As their parenting styles seem to differ so much from one another, they're bound to be some hiccups along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, who's been reading through this series! I know last weeks was pretty tough to get through, so hopefully this one is much better for you all!

Snape takes nearly two months off work and Sirius isn’t afraid to say he liked having Snape around more often, especially with Harry starting to do more and more magic every day. Having Snape around to help keep things in line was something that Sirius honestly never thought he would be thinking.

“Do you really have to go back to work?” Sirius asks as he feeds Harry at the table.

Snape nods looking down at his copy of the Daily Prophet, “It’s time,” he says, “And I’m supposed to start at the Department of Magical Education too,” he says.

“I suppose you have to go back then,” Sirius says before he sighs, “Harry, give that back,” he says as the spoon and bowl begin zooming out of Sirius’s hands.

Snape looks over at the toddler, who was grinning as he watched Sirius stand up reaching for the oatmeal, which only got higher out of his reach. Snape looks at Harry watching him as he holds his hand out, and begins to lower the bowl back down. Harry has a visible pout on his lips as Snape holds the bowl just out of Harry’s reach watching the infant trying to figure out how to get his way. This was fascinating to Snape.

“Will you two knock it off,” Sirius says snatching the bowl of porridge out of the air, before sitting back down to finish feeding Harry.

Snape looks over at Sirius and says nothing, but picks up the second half of his banana before taking a bite, only to have his banana zoom out of his hand and across the kitchen followed by infant giggling.

“Interesting,” Snape murmurs looking curiously back at Harry.

“He’s a child, Severus,” Sirius says, “Not one of your research experiments.”

“He’s doing it on purpose,” Snape says.

Sirius looks over at Snape, “I wish I knew more people with children, so he could have other children to play with,” he says, “He’s bored.”

Snape sighs, “Accio,” he mutters summoning his breakfast back to him, Harry was eyeing him with a strange look.

“Harry,” Sirius says, “C’mon, finish eating.”

Snape takes a bite of his banana, glancing over at the baby.

Sirius sighs looking over at Snape, “Severus.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Snape replies looking over at Sirius.

“He’s more interested in what you’re doing than eating his breakfast,” Sirius says.

Snape looks at Sirius out of the corner of his eye for a moment, before finishing the last bite of his banana and holding his hand out for the half-eaten bowl of porridge.

Sirius hands Snape the bowl before getting up to clean the dishes.

Snape spoons some porridge out of the bowl offering it to Harry, who ate from the spoon Snape presented him, watching Snape with large curious green eyes.

When Snape finishes feeding Harry he sets the bowl on the table, before lifting Harry out of the chair setting him on his lap, and Harry begins to reach for Snape’s hair getting his fingers caught in the long strands.

“All done?” Sirius asks watching as Snape frowns while pulling Harry’s hands from his hair, “You okay?” Sirius asks.

“Fine,” Snape mutters narrowing his eyes down at the infant on his lap, “Don’t do that again,” he says in a low voice.

Harry smiles and bounces reaching for Snape’s hair again.

“I’ll come play with him in a minute,” Sirius says looking over at Snape.

Snape gets up carrying the baby into the other room, sitting him on the floor beside a toy-sized Hogwarts School Train which Harry picked up and immediately started hitting into the floor, causing the train to emit steam from its pipe.

“You’re going to break the train,” Snape says watching Harry.

“Let him play,” Sirius says walking into the room, “Why shouldn’t he have fun with it?”

“I’m merely stating a fact,” Snape replies.

“Your fact is boring,” Sirius says sitting down on the floor to play with Harry.

Snape rolls his eyes, “I’ll be in the other room.”

Snape had slowly been brushing up on some reading he thought might be helpful going into his new job. Snape sits down on the sofa, picking up a copy of _History of Magical Education_ and beginning to read. Snape is more than halfway through with his book when he decides to take a break and check on Sirius and the baby. It was nearing Harry’s mid-morning nap time. Snape gets up walking into the baby’s room and is surprised by what he sees. The baby was giggling and chasing around a big shaggy black dog.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Snape murmurs watching Sirius roll over onto his back, as Harry attempts to grab onto the dog.

Snape looks down at his watch, “It’s nearly time for a nap,” he says looking down at Sirius, “I think you should both settle down,” he says walking over and picking up Harry off the floor, “Come on Sirius.”

Snape watches Sirius walk out of the room, before he walks Harry over to the cot, placing him inside before reaching down before picking up his teddy bear off the floor handing it to the baby, “Settle down, it’s time for your nap, you can play again later after lunch,” he tells Harry.

“Why do you insist on talking to him like that?” Sirius asks returning a moment later with his dressing gown on.

“All I told him was to settle down,” Snape says rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, but he’s a baby he doesn’t know what that means,” Sirius insists, walking over to the cot gently stroking Harry’s hair.

“He does understand,” Snape insists, “You give him too little credit.”

“He’s just a baby Severus,” Sirius insists leaning down kissing the top of Harry’s forehead, “Goodnight Harry.”

Snape reaches down, pulling the blanket over the baby, before turning to leave, gently nudging Sirius to stop watching the baby.

Sirius reluctantly follows Snape out of Harry’s room, leaving the door open enough to hear if he started crying.

“What have you gotten up to?” Sirius asks looking over at Snape.

Snape shrugs, “Nothing, just some reading,” he says, “Boring stuff.”

“Like what?” Sirius asks curiously.

“Past Educational decrees,” Snape says.

Sirius grimaces with a visible shudder, “Boring.”

Snape smirks slightly and rolls his eyes, “Whatever.”

Sirius turns on the radio, turning the volume down low, so he wouldn’t disturb the baby trying to sleep.

“I’ve been thinking about taking Harry on a ride,” Sirius says.

“Absolutely not,” Snape says turning to face Sirius with an icy look on his face.

“He’ll be safe,” Sirius says, “He might like it.”

“No,” Snape says firmly crossing his arms over his chest, “I forbid you to take Lily’s son on that death trap.”

Sirius looks back at Snape biting the inside of his cheek, “I’ve never been hurt on it.”

“You’re an adult, if you wish to do something dangerous, no one can stop you from doing so,” Snape says, “He’s a baby, he can’t make those decisions for himself, and even if he could, he may make dangerous decisions of his own, but we’re his guardians, it’s our job to make the right decisions for him, and keeping him out of a flying motorbike, is a decision I’m making for him.”

Sirius sighs softly, “You’re right,” he murmurs, “It’s hard sometimes, he is just a baby but he reminds me so much of James,” Sirius sighs.

Snape tried not to think about how much the child reminded him of James as well, not even two years old, and already having his mischievous nature and not to mention the fact that the child looked nearly identical to James. It made it hard for Snape sometimes to look at the child, but when he did look at Harry he saw those green eyes, and he remembered this was Lily’s son too, an innocent person in all of this and he reminds himself that this is for Lily, he’s doing this for Lily, no matter how much dislike he had for James he was going to take care of this child for Lily’s sake.

“He’s a child Sirius,” Snape says looking over at him, “Even if he’s exactly like his father, he’s still not James, and you’re his guardian, you have to treat him as your child, not as your best friend.”

“I can be best friends with him,” Sirius insists.

“You are his guardian first,” Snape says looking over at Sirius.

The following day Snape returns to work, Snape had been given several research tasks, involving the current curriculum being taught in Magical schools across Britain. Snape spent most of his day at his desk with books in front of him, he didn’t mind the research, but he did miss working with experimental magic.

Snape leaves the office at six, taking the floo back to their flat. Snape brushes the ash off his cloak, as he steps out of the fireplace. Snape frowns looking down at his feet, where a toddler on a toy broomstick was zooming past him. Snape hangs his cloak up before reaching down, picking up the toddler off the broomstick, “Where is Sirius?” Snape asks looking at the baby, before balancing him on his waist as he waits for an answer from the toddler.

Snape sighs walking down the hall to their bedroom, walking inside to see Sirius standing in front of the radio, turning the stations.

“Why’s that in here?” Snape asks referring to the radio which usually resided in the living room.

Sirius smiles turning around to see Snape holding Harry, “You’re home,” he says pleasantly, “How was the new job?”

Snape sighs, “Fine,” he says, “I asked why that was in our bedroom,” he says getting back to his pressing question.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “I was listening to it in here, while Harry was napping, I decided to listen to some music, is that such a crime?”

“You let him fly around on that broomstick again,” Snape says, “Without watching him.”

“No,” Sirius says, “You told me last week I can’t let him do that, so I haven’t been.”

“Then why was he flying around on it just now?” Snape asks, “My eyes are not deceiving me.”

Sirius looks at Snape, “I put it away earlier Severus,” he insists.

“Where?” Snape asks.

“In Harry’s closet,” Sirius says, “Close enough so I could get it for him later.”

Snape sighs deciding to give Sirius the benefit of the doubt, “Fine,” he mutters.

Sirius walks over to Snape, “How was work?” he asks again, pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek.

Snape grimaces, turning away from Sirius, before holding out the toddler to him, “It was fine,” Snape answers after a moment.

Sirius laughs lightly, but takes Harry from Snape, before peppering his forehead with kisses, causing the baby to giggle and writhe in Sirius’s grasp.

“What did you do?” Sirius asks curiously, balancing Harry on his waist, who was now getting his hands tangled in Sirius’s hair.

“It was boring,” Snape says before walking back to the living room, “It’s nothing like my old job.”

“That stuff sounded boring,” Sirius says following Snape, “All that research and chemistry.”

“Well there’s even more research at my new job,” Snape says sitting down on the sofa, as he takes off his shoes to get more comfortable.

Sirius grimaces, “Sounds horrible,” he says handing Harry back to Snape.

Snape looks up at Sirius, “Why are you giving me this?” he asks.

“So, I can make dinner,” Sirius says, “So hold the baby.”

Snape frowns, “Put him on the floor, I don’t want to hold him,” he says.

“You’ve been gone all day, you haven’t seen him at all,” Sirius insists.

“So?” Snape retorts, “We’re going to feed him and bathe him later, and put him to bed, he doesn’t need to be held at all times during the day, I don’t even think he wants to be.”

Sirius sighs, before placing Harry onto Snape’s lap, before turning to go into the kitchen, “What do you want for dinner?”

Snape looks down at Harry on his lap, who was grinning up at Snape. Snape picks up Harry before placing him on the floor, “Play over there,” he says.

“Severus,” Sirius says turning to look at him from the kitchen.

“I don’t care,” Snape replies picking up this morning’s copy of the Daily Prophet which he hadn’t finished reading before he left.

Sirius looks at Snape for a moment, before looking down at Harry who was on the floor playing with his train set, “Alright then,” he says, turning back to the refrigerator, thinking of what he could make, deciding to make corned beef and cabbage.

Snape reads over the paper, finding himself curiously reading over an article about rogue vampires in the city. Snape feels a tugging on the bottom of his robes, and turns down the top of the paper, looking down at his feet, where the baby sat tugging on his robes.

“Yes, what is it?” Snape says folding his paper in half, looking at the baby.

“Ta,” Harry says shaking his toy train at Snape.

Snape looks curiously at the baby pondering this moment before responding, “Yes, train,” Snape replies, “Now, play with it over there,” he says hoping to go back to his reading.

“Ta!” Harry says again even more excited, shaking his train in the air.

Snape watches Harry, unsure of what he was supposed to do with this information.

“Ta!” Harry screams, at the same time his train flies up above both their heads floating near the ceiling.

Snape frowns looking up at the train, before looking back down at Harry, “Settle down,” he says, “Bring that back down here.”

“He’s a baby Severus,” Sirius says turning to look at what was going on behind him.

“He put it up there, he can bring it back down here,” Snape replies, “Now bring it back down here,” he says looking back at Harry.

Harry frowns, watching Snape with curious eyes.

“He doesn’t understand what you’re saying Severus,” Sirius says, “You expect too much from him so young.”

Snape doesn’t respond to this, he knows he wasn’t expecting too much from Harry, he’d been watching him and he knew very much what the young child was capable of.

“Go on, bring it back,” Snape says looking at Harry.

A moment later the toy train begins to float back down, making it only halfway to the floor, before it drops out of the air, and crashes onto the floor.

“Ta!” Harry grins, crawling over to pick up the crashed train.

“Did he do that on his own?” Sirius asks, walking over to Snape.

“I don’t believe you did it,” Snape replies, looking over his shoulder at Sirius.

Sirius rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, “He’s been doing a lot of magic recently,” he says.

“All infants do,” Snape says, putting his copy of the Daily Prophet down.

“I think we’re going to have to put up some charms,” Sirius says.

“I already did,” Snape replies, getting up from the sofa.

“What?” Sirius frowns, “What charms?”

“Nothing impressive,” Snape says, “I didn’t think he should be able to summon knives or anything from the kitchen,” Snape says, “Or anything else sort of heavy, charm to make the tables edges bouncy if he were to hit his head, keeping him from being able to open drawers and stuff like that,” Snape replies, “So what are we having for dinner then?”

Sirius frowns, “I didn’t know you did that,” Sirius says.

“I told you, it’s no big deal,” Snape replies, “We don’t notice them because we’re adults, it doesn’t affect how we interact with the things, only him.”

“I’m familiar with how it works,” Sirius says, “I just didn’t know you were.”

“Well I am,” Snape replies picking up Harry from the floor, taking him to the kitchen putting him in the highchair.

Sirius watches Snape for a moment before walking back to the kitchen after Snape, “Sit,” he murmurs, watching Snape fill a bottle with diluted pumpkin juice, “I’ll take care of that.”

“I’ve got it,” Snape replies, sitting the bottle on the table beside him, not giving it to Harry yet.

Harry reaches for the bottle, and Snape glances over at him, “Not yet,” he says, “Stop that,” he says.

Harry whines, reaching out further for the bottle.

“I said stop it now, or I’ll take it away,” Snape says, “Now settle down so you can eat,” he says to Harry.

Harry regards Snape with more confusion and a big frown.

“We eat first, and you have your juice after,” Snape says, looking at Harry.

Sirius sets some small cut up pieces of corned beef on the tray in front of Harry, with a few cubes of softened boiled potatoes, “There you are Harry,” Sirius says placing a kiss to his forehead.

Sirius returns a moment later to the table with two plates, slices of corned beef, and a bit of cabbage and potatoes for himself and Snape.

“Thank you,” Snape says, looking down at his dinner.

“You’re welcome,” Sirius says, looking over at Harry who was putting pieces of potatoes into his mouth, “Hey,” Sirius coos softly, “Not so fast.”

Snape eats his dinner, as he watches Sirius space the food out, “You don’t have to do that,” Snape says softly.

“I don’t want him to choke,” Sirius insists.

“He can hear you,” Snape says.

“He also needs someone to show him,” Sirius says.

Snape looks over at Harry, “One at a time,” he says looking at Harry, who was regarding Snape with more confusion, “One,” Snape says again.

Harry frowns, holding up a piece of corned beef, holding it out to Snape.

Snape nods, “One,” he repeats, “Eat one.”

Harry puts the food into his mouth, and immediately reaches for another.

“No,” Snape says looking at Harry, “One, not two, one,” he says watching Harry stop halfway to his mouth with more food.

“Finish what you have, and then you can have more,” Snape replies, watching Harry, slowly moving his hand to his mouth, “No,” Snape says, “I said one at a time.”

Harry sets down the corned beef and potatoes on his tray, looking at Snape.

Snape nods slowly, watching Harry finish what was in his mouth, “Now you may have more,” Snape says.

Sirius watches Snape from the other side of the table, half shocked.

“I told you, he understands more than you give him credit for,” Snape says softly.

Sirius sighs softly, “We just have such different parenting styles,” he says.

After dinner, Sirius baths Harry, giving him a new toy octopus to play with, in the bath. Snape puts on Harry’s pajamas and sets him to play on the floor of his room, while Snape reads a book in the oversized chair.

After nearly an hour, Snape finds himself looking down at the baby, attempting to climb up his legs. Snape sighs, setting his book down, before leaning down, picking up Harry from the floor who let out a big yawn the moment Snape set him on his lap.

“Are you ready for bed then?” Snape asks looking at Harry, “Alright then.”

Snape gets up walking into the living room, “Sirius,” he says, watching Sirius nodding along to the radio.

Sirius smiles, getting up from the sofa, “Hi there,” he grins walking over to Snape, picking up Harry from his arms before peppering him with kisses.

“It’s time for him to go to bed,” Snape says watching Sirius.

“Are you sleepy Harry?” Sirius smiles, hugging him gently.

“Say goodnight,” Snape says looking at Sirius.

“Goodnight Harry,” Sirius smiles, kissing him again, “Sweet dreams.”

Sirius hands Harry back to Snape, following them to Harry’s room while Snape places Harry into bed, Snape places the teddy bear in bed next to Harry, pulling the sheets over him before looking down at Harry settling down in his cot, watching him briefly as he grabs onto his bear. Snape walks out of the room, turning the light off, shooing Sirius off at the same time.

Sirius smiles, “He’s so sweet,” he says looking up at Snape.

“Sure,” Snape replies shutting the door behind him, “I’m going to bed too,” Snape says.

“So early?” Sirius frowns.

“I’m tired,” Snape says, walking across the flat to their bedroom.

Sirius watches after Snape for a moment, before picking up his wand from the coffee table, turning off the radio, “Maybe I’ll come to bed too then,” he says, turning the lights off as he follows Snape to the bedroom shutting the door behind him.

Snape glances over his shoulder watching Sirius turning on the baby monitor, setting it on the nightstand. Snape steps into the closet, changing out of his robes into his nightshirt before getting into bed, finding Sirius turning back the sheets on the bed, dressed in his pajama bottoms, without a shirt.

“You’re not required to come to bed, if you wish to finish listening to whatever program that was,” Snape murmurs climbing up onto the bed.

Sirius smiles softly, “I’m aware of what I can and can’t do,” he says looking over at Snape, “I just fancied going to bed with my husband,” he says crawling up onto the bed beside Snape.

This makes Snape blush an unmistakable shade of scarlet and swallow thickly, averting his eyes from Sirius’s bare torso.

Sirius smiles, “Are you very tired Severus?”

“Fairly,” Snape says quietly while pulling the sheets over himself, suddenly aware of how much leg he was showing in his nightshirt.

“I’ll let you sleep then,” Sirius says softly, “maybe you could just cuddle with me.”

Snape could feel the inside of his mouth drying out every second this conversation continued, “What did you want to do?” he asks knowing the answer, but somehow still hoping he was mistaken.

Sirius smiles, looking over at Snape, “If you weren’t too tired, I was thinking we could,” Sirius pauses for a moment watching Snape, “We could have sex,” he says, “It’s been a few weeks.”

Weeks was an understatement. Sirius had not received a single response to his gentle subtle hand touches, aside from Snape turning away in mild shame, since October. It was January. Sirius had grieved the loss of his best friend, but Snape had to grieve the loss of the only woman he ever truly loved. Snape was married to Sirius, but he did not love Sirius the way he loved Lily.

However, Snape had grown to care for Sirius, in a way only a husband could. Sirius was respectful, but he still had his own needs, and they were still expected to produce a child, which could not happen without work on their part.

Snape sighs heavily as he turns to look at Sirius, and his hands begin to shake, “I have something I need to tell you,” Snape says quietly.

Sirius frowns, “What is it?” he asks, wondering what could make Snape this nervous. He doesn’t ever think he’s seen Snape nervous before, not like this at least.

Snape reaches into the nightstand drawer, pulling out a piece of folded up parchment, handing it to Sirius.

“What is this?” Sirius asks taking the parchment from Snape and opening it up, reading over the first line, “Official letter from the Ministry?” he asks looking over at Snape, “What is this Severus?”

_Dear Mr. Snape,_

_It has come to our attention that you and your spouse, have acquired a child in the form of adoptive Godparents. The Ministry will take action to make this adoption legal, as this legal adoption is approved, you and your spouse are now protected by Public Informational Decree No.23. which states that should the parties involved inherit a child that is not theirs, the Ministry will extend a two-year grace period, to allow bonding with their adoptive child. At the end of this two-year grace period, the Ministry will expect both parties involved to resume the conception of their own child, by filing an intent to conceive with the Department of Public Information Services._

_Best Wishes,_

_Bridgette Belle_

_Public Information Services Office, Ministry of Magic_

“How long have you had this?” Sirius asks looking over at Snape.

“I got it this morning,” Snape replies, “It came to my office,” he mutters.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Sirius asks quietly.

“I didn’t know what to say,” Snape says, “I was still trying to process it all, I suppose.”

Sirius quietly folds the letter, placing it on the nightstand beside his wand, before turning to look at Snape, “I have something I need to tell you,” he says softly.

Snape frowns, he had expected anger from Sirius, frustration at the very least, he had expected some sort of a fit, “What is it?” he asks curiously.

Sirius sighs looking at Snape for a moment before taking a breath, “This stopped being about having a child, some time ago,” Sirius murmurs.

Snape looks at Sirius unsure of what to say, unsure if he even believed him, “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about Severus,” Sirius says, “ _You_ aren’t a means to an end,” he says looking at Snape, “ _You are_ my husband, whether I like it or not, for better or worse, for now, and for always,” Sirius says watching Snape, “What you are _not_ , is a sperm donor.”

Snape grimaces but is unable to stop the blush from spreading over his cheeks, heating his ears.

“I don’t use you for sex, to have a child,” Sirius continues.

“You just enjoy sex,” Snape replies.

Sirius narrows his eyes at Snape, “I like having sex with you, my husband.”

“You like having sex with anyone who will have it with you,” Snape says looking at Sirius.

Sirius sighs, “Fine,” he says, “I like to have sex, my point is, I don’t just want to have it with you because it will lead to a child, I like to have it with you because I love you.”

Snape frowns, he has no idea what to say to this right now.

“I know this is been difficult,” Sirius says, “But I have been trying, to find the right words, things to say, things to do, to make you notice me, to make you see me, see me saying I’m sorry,” Sirius sighs, “There is nothing I want more than for you to know how much I care for you, how much I regret who I used to be, I know it’s not easy, I wouldn’t forgive me, but I just want you, I want everything that you have to offer,” Sirius sighs, “All the time, I can’t imagine what this is like for you,” Sirius continues, “And I’m constantly getting it wrong, I want you to see me as more than the father of your child, I want you to see me,” he says looking over at Snape, before turning away nervously.

Snape does not know what to say, but he knows what he wants to do. Snape leans over, gently turning Sirius’s cheek.

“Severus please,” Sirius murmurs, “I just need a moment,” he mutters turning to get up.

Snape reaches for Sirius’s hand, pulling him back.

“Severus-“

Snape gently presses his lips against Sirius’s lips, kissing him softly. Sirius gasps, shocked, never once had Snape kissed him without first being prompted. It was a gentle kiss, and Sirius gently reaches up, brushing Snape’s hair back, tucking the long strands behind his ear, as he kisses Snape back.

Breaking the kiss, a moment later, Snape looks back at Sirius, who was for once in his life, stunned into silence.

“I see you Sirius,” Snape whispers, looking back at the older wizard, “I want the same thing that you want,” he says quietly, watching Sirius.

Sirius is still for another moment before he leans over, kissing Snape again, crawling into his lap as he kisses him. Snape wraps his arms around Sirius’s waist, as Sirius begins to kiss his neck, pushing up Snape’s nightshirt at the same time.

“I need a shower,” Snape says after catching his breath, attempting to sit up on the bed.

Sirius reaches over, wrapping his arms around Snape’s waist, “Stay,” he says.

“I’m coming back,” Snape insists.

“Stay until I fall asleep,” Sirius says softly, looking up at Snape.

Snape looks down at Sirius, his hair was a mess, laying in every direction, he could see the sweat still on his back, and chest, he can see Sirius’s eyelids looking heavier with each passing moment, and suddenly Snape doesn’t want to go anywhere. He sighs softly and lays back down.

Sirius smiles softly, “Tergeo,” he mutters, channeling his magic without his wand, cleaning up a little bit.

“Nox,” Snape says, turning the lights off allowing Sirius to curl up on top of his chest before they both fall asleep.

In the morning Sirius wakes up, to the sounds of Harry babbling from the baby monitor. He sighs softly, sitting up on the bed. It was then that Sirius realized Snape wasn’t in bed anymore. He yawns looking over at the clock, it was after seven, Snape was most likely getting ready for work. Sirius gets up, putting on his pajamas, and his dressing-gown, before walking down the hall to get Harry.

Sirius stops standing in the doorway of Harry’s bedroom, he can’t believe what he was seeing. Snape sitting in the rocking chair with his eyes closed, gently rocking Harry who was murmuring nonsense, laying comfortably against Snape.

Sirius smiles walking across the room, leaning down to pick up Harry. Snape’s reflexes are so quick before Sirius can grab hold of Harry, Snape has his wand firmly pressed against his side. Sirius gasps but doesn’t move. He turns his eyes up, meeting Snape’s, who was now staring right back into his eyes.

“Are you going to curse me?” Sirius asks quietly remaining still against the tip of Snape’s wand.

“Thinking about it,” Snape mutters, “What are you doing here?” he asks before relaxing his shoulders, setting his wand back at his side, looking down at the baby who was grinning up at him.

“I heard Harry awake,” Sirius replies, “I didn’t expect to find him here with you, how long has he been awake?”

Snape looks down at his watch, “About an hour,” he says, “He needed changing.”

“You should have woken me, you have work, I could have taken care of him,” Sirius says softly, finally plucking Harry up from Snape’s arms, gently cradling him as he kisses his forehead.

Snape shrugs with a yawn, “You were asleep, the baby was crying, I just change him, and we were just sitting in the rocking chair.”

“You should get ready,” Sirius says softly, “I’ll get breakfast going.”

Snape sighs softly, walking down the hall to the bathroom to take a shower.

“You look tired,” Sirius says softly when Snape sits down at the table, half an hour later, dressed in his work robes.

“I’m fine,” Snape says, grateful when Sirius places a cup of coffee down on the table in front of him with a peeled orange and some dry toast.

Snape begins to sip his coffee when he notices Harry leaning over his chair, reaching for the food Sirius had placed on the table.

“This is mine,” Snape says looking at Harry, “Do you want some of this orange?” Snape asks, “Is that what you want?”

Harry whines, reaching over the table.

“Is this what you want?” Snape asks, picking up the orange showing it to Harry, “Yes? This is what you want?” Snape splits the orange with his hands, placing a small piece on the tray in front of Harry, waiting to see if he would even eat it.

“I don’t think he’ll eat that,” Sirius says, placing a bowl of porridge on the table.

“I’m sure he only wanted it because I had it,” Snape murmurs.

Sirius smiles, “He does seem to prefer your breakfast over his own.”

Snape picks up the bowl of porridge, waiting for Harry to finish making a face before spitting out the orange slice, “Time for your own breakfast then,” he says, offering Harry the spoonful of porridge, which he ate without complaint.

“I’ll do that Severus,” Sirius says, “You need to eat your own breakfast,” he says.

“It’s fine,” Snape says at the same time feeding Harry his porridge. Snape finishes feeding Harry his breakfast before Sirius places a bottle of milk on the tray, which Harry drinks immediately.

“Are you working late tonight?” Sirius asks sitting down across from Snape.

Snape takes a sip of his coffee, pondering the question for a moment, “No, I should finish by five,” he says, deciding it wouldn’t take him very long to finish what he hadn’t finished yesterday.

Sirius nods, looking across the table at Snape, who was finishing half an orange.

Snape gets up ten minutes later, “I’d better be going,” he says looking down at his watch, it was after 8.

Sirius nods getting up, picking up Harry from the highchair, bringing him to the living room, setting him down to play.

“Have a good day,” Sirius says watching Snape, pulling on his cloak.

Snape gives Sirius a small smile, “I’ll see you later,” he says, before stepping into the fireplace.

When Snape arrives home that evening, he takes off his cloak, hanging it up as he steps out of the fireplace. Snape takes off his shoes and looks down to see an infant in nothing but a nappy on, pulling on the bottom of his robes.

Snape glares down at the baby but then realizes that he is pulling himself so that he’s standing on his own. Snape hadn’t noticed the baby standing or walking before. He wondered if he’d just missed this happening. But there was no way he could have. Snape looks down at Harry, who had his arms up, pulling on Snape’s robes, in an attempt to climb.

Snape sighs, leaning down picking up the baby, who immediately clung to Snape as he carried him on his waist.

“Sirius,” Snape says walking into Harry’s room, seeing Sirius tidying up.

“Severus,” Sirius says, startled, “You’re home,” he says turning to face Snape.

“I think you’ve lost something,” Snape says looking at Sirius.

Sirius frowns, turning around looking around on the floor, “What?” he asks.

Snape rolls his eyes, gesturing to the infant he was holding.

“Harry,” Sirius says, “How did you get Harry?”

“He came to me, just now when I came in,” Snape says.

“He moves so quickly, I hadn’t even realized he’d gone,” Sirius says, walking over to Snape, taking Harry from him, sneaking a kiss to Snape’s cheek.

“Does he walk much?” Snape asks.

Sirius shrugs, “He mostly pulls himself up, and wobbles,” he says, “He was starting to walk, but I haven’t seen him doing it since,” Sirius stops, sighing softly.

Snape raises an eyebrow before turning to leave.

Sirius follows Snape, “Did you see him walking?” he asks curiously.

“No, he’s mostly been climbing,” Snape says, “He just pulled himself up when I came in,” he says, “I was just asking.”

Sirius smiles, looking over at Harry, “Are you trying to walk?” he grins, “Do you want to walk Harry?”

Snape rolls his eyes, “He’s not a dog Sirius,” he says, sitting down on the sofa.

Sirius smiles, kissing Harry’s forehead, before putting him down, as he started turning in his arms.

“How was work?” Sirius asks.

“Fine,” Snape replies, picking up a copy of spellbound, reading the cover, “I’m doing my first audit this week,” Snape murmurs, opening the magazine.

“What are you auditing?” Sirius asks curiously, watching Harry knock down his toy soldiers.

“Welsh School of Charms,” Snape replies, turning the page in his magazine, “Their curriculum isn’t up to date, so I have to go there talk to the Headmistress, and set their curriculum right.”

“You’re like a true Professor then,” Sirius says with a smile.

Snape looks up at Snape, he hadn’t thought about that, “I suppose so,” he says.

Sirius smiles, “What would you like for dinner Professor Snape?” he teases.

Snape grimaces looking over at Sirius, “Don’t do that.”

“It’s kind of sexy,” Sirius smirks.

Snape looks at Sirius, “You’re an animal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! All of your love, comments, and just general reading of this fic, have been so lovely! We are winding down into the final stretch of this series, but I've enjoyed taking this journey with you all!!! Thank you all so much for your support!!! I hope you all continue reading and ejoying the content! ♥


	11. The Truth Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time has passed since the incident of Halloween 1981. Snape and Sirius have settled into a domestic routine, and have fallen into the role of being parents to the toddler Harry Potter. Snape however much he tries to put the past behind him, still finds himself unable to escape his past traumas from time to time. Luckily for Snape, Sirius has adapted to be able to help him through these times, whether or not he wants to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all so much for being here and following along with this story! I am so glad you've all been enjoying it so far, and I do hope that you all continue to enjoy reading it.  
> I do just want to mention that some of us have talked in the comments and I've alluded to various things, but I do reserve the right to change my mind about things as I write and edit, and sometimes that means changing storylines, though it doesn't happen very often while editing. Hopefully, these changes are minor and you won't notice a disruption to where I've slipped new things in, but I do apologize if some of it comes off a bit "choppy" if you will. With that being said some of the tags have changed or been erased altogether. I do hope that various concerns you may have had in the past about this story and our characters in it, will continue being addressed and resolved. Bear that in mind as you continue to enjoy this story. Thank you all so much for your time ♥  
> And with that being said this chapter will have a brief mention of MPreg.

18 months later

Snape steps out of the fireplace setting his case down on the floor beside the fireplace, beginning to take off his cloak when he glances across the room and sees a toddler standing atop his desk, holding a very expensive frozen Ashwinder egg. Snape moves swiftly across the room, plucking up the child from the tabletop looking at him very sternly.

“Where is your Godfather?” Snape asks watching Harry.

Harry stares with wide eyes back at Snape, he was in so much trouble.

“Um,” the toddler mutters.

“That is not an answer,” Snape replies, taking down the Ashwinder egg jar, holding it in front of Harry and expecting him to put it back.

Harry’s tiny hands shake nervously, as he replaces the egg in the open jar in front of him.

Snape places the lid back on the jar, placing it back on the top shelf, “How did you get on that desk?”

“Chair,” Harry mutters.

“You climbed on that chair,” Snape says.

Harry nods, refusing to make eye contact with Snape.

“You climbed on the chair, and onto my desk, and thought you’d open a jar that did not belong to you,” Snape says watching Harry turn uncomfortably in his arms.

Harry stays silent as Snape tightens his hold on Harry, keeping him from breaking free of his grasp.

“Do you know what that is?” Snape asks.

Harry shakes his head, still not looking at Snape.

“It’s an egg from a serpent,” Snape replies, “And do you know what it does?”

Harry shakes his head again.

“It heals the sick,” Snape says looking at Harry, “You are being punished for this.”

Harry frowns, and his lower lip begins to tremble as he starts to cry.

“Stop that,” Snape says, “You know better than to touch things that, one, don’t belong to you, two, we’ve told you many times to stay away from, three, could be dangerous to you,” he says, “So stop your crying this instant.”

“Harry,” Sirius says emerging from the bedroom a moment later, “Severus,” Snape says surprised, then frowns seeing Harry crying, “Why is Harry crying?”

Snape looks from the toddler over to Sirius, staying silent for a moment, “He’s being punished,” Snape replies a moment later.

Sirius frowns, “Why?” he asks walking over to Snape, taking the crying toddler from his arms. Harry wraps his small arms around Sirius’s neck as he sobs.

“While he wasn’t being watched,” Snape says looking directly at Sirius, “He decided he’d climb up on my desk, where I found him holding my very expensive frozen Ashwinder egg when I arrived home just moments ago.”

“Harry,” Sirius says with wide eyes, “How many times have I told you how dangerous some of these things can be,” he says looking at the young boy, “Stop your crying now, what you’ve done was very wrong and you know that,” he insists before setting Harry down on the floor, “Go on, bring it here, now.”

Harry has tears streaming down his face, as he goes off to his room, returning with his toy broomstick.

Snape takes the toy from the toddler before taking it to his bedroom, hearing Sirius beginning to explain how dangerous it could be to take things he doesn’t know what they are and how he’s being punished because they care about him.

Snape puts the toy away in his closet and seals it with an anti-summoning charm, before taking off his cloak changing out of his work robes, and into something more comfortable.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius says when Snape steps out of the closet a moment later.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Snape mutters, not looking at Sirius.

“Severus, please,” Sirius says.

“Why aren’t you watching him right now?” Snape says glaring over at Sirius.

“He’s in his bedroom,” Sirius replies looking back at Snape, “I’m sorry Severus.”

Snape rolls his eyes, “I can’t right now,” he says, stepping around Sirius.

Sirius reaches out, grasping onto Snape’s arm forcing him to look at him.

“Release me,” Snape says.

“You need to talk to me first before I even think about letting you go,” Sirius says.

“I’m not a child, you can’t tell me what to do,” Snape replies glaring back at Sirius.

“What is wrong with you?” Sirius asks, “Why are you so upset?”

“You know damn well why I’m upset,” Snape says.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “This isn’t about that stupid egg,” he insists, “I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re not telling me something,” Sirius replies, “And you’re definitely keeping something from me now.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Snape snaps breaking free of Sirius’s grasp.

“Is that how you talk to your husband now?” Sirius asks.

“Yeah, I suppose it is,” Snape says pushing past Sirius, walking out of the bedroom.

Sirius sighs heavily, wondering if perhaps Snape had a bad day at work and that’s really what his problem is. Sirius walks into the living room, seeing Snape pulling things off his shelves and putting them into a trunk.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks, watching Snape stack his cauldrons in the trunk.

“Obviously, these things are too dangerous to keep around the house right now,” Snape mutters continuing to place his jars of ingredients into the trunk, “Especially if no one is going to be watching the baby.”

Sirius sighs, “I said I was sorry.”

“I’ve heard,” Snape replies slipping several books into one of the larger cauldrons.

Sirius watches Snape for a moment before he turns to walk away, going to check on Harry without another word to Snape, figuring he needed to work it out on his own.

Snape clears off his desk of all his cauldrons, potion ingredients, and several books to do with potions, as well as anything that he wasn’t immediately reading. Severus then seals them in the trunk before taking the trunk to his closet, putting it in the corner under the shelves.

When Snape comes out of the bedroom Sirius is in the kitchen cooking, and Harry was playing with a set of paint and some parchment. Snape picks up a copy of _standard enchanting spells_ and begins to read where he left off.

Ten minutes later Snape looks down to see Harry tugging on his robes. Snape now had blue and green paint handprints on his robes, from Harry tugging on them.

“What is it?” Snape asks looking down at Harry, resisting the urge to stop him putting his dirty hands all over his robes.

“Wash,” Harry says holding out his paint-covered palms.

Snape sighs, “Are you done making a mess then?” he asks, and Harry nods, “Come on then,” Snape says setting his book down, getting up and taking Harry to the bathroom to wash his hands.

Snape lifts harry onto the sink running water for him, before handing him a bar of soap. Snape helps Harry wash up, before he cleans the bathroom and himself of any left-over paint with a scourgify spell.

“Broom now?” Harry asks.

“Not until you’ve learned your lesson,” Snape replies picking up Harry and setting him on the floor, “Now it’s time for dinner, behave and I’ll think about when you’ve earned it back.”

Snape picks Harry up, placing him in the chair at the table.

“Pumpkin juice,” Harry says looking up at Snape.

“After you’ve eaten your dinner,” Snape says sitting down beside Harry at the table.

“Now,” Harry says looking over at Snape.

“Harry you know better,” Sirius says setting down two plates on the table, “You eat first, and have juice after.”

Snape looks down at the plate Sirius placed in front of him, a roast with gravy and vegetables.

“What do you say?” Snape says looking at Harry.

“Thank you,” Harry replies, looking at Snape before turning to Sirius who was sitting down at the table with his own plate, “Thank you,” he says again.

Sirius smiles, “You’re welcome Harry,” he says leaning over kissing Harry’s forehead.

Snape eats slowly, pushing his food around on his plate a lot more than Sirius was used to seeing.

“Harry and I went to the park today,” Sirius says watching Snape out of the corner of his eye.

“Lovely,” Snape replies spearing a string bean on his fork.

“We ran into the Abbot’s,” Sirius says, “They have a little girl Harry’s age now, they got to play together today, isn’t that right Harry?”

“I had fun,” Harry says abandoning his fork in favor of putting his cut-up roast in his mouth with his hands.

“That’s nice,” Snape says glancing up from his plate, looking across the table at Sirius, then down at Harry.

Sirius sighs softly, opting for silence the rest of dinner.

“Can I have juice now?” Harry asks after finishing his roast.

“Once you’ve finished your green beans,” Snape replies, looking at the vegetables Harry hadn’t eaten.

“I don’t like those,” Harry pouts.

“Then you can have water if you don’t want to eat your vegetables,” Snape says.

“I want juice,” Harry cries.

“Lower your voice,” Snape says looking over at Harry, “If you want your juice, you eat your vegetables, or you leave them and have water instead, those are your options.”

Sirius, having agreed with Snape’s decision said nothing, and watched Harry pout at the table for several minutes before putting a green bean into his mouth.

Ten minutes later Sirius gets up picking up Harry’s empty plate, and Snape’s nearly full plate carrying them to the sink, before setting a cup with a lid on the table in front of Harry, who graciously drank his pumpkin juice.

“You need a bath,” Snape says looking at Harry.

“I don’t want a bath,” Harry replies setting his cup on the table.

Snape laughs lightly and rolls his eyes, “Little boys who play in the park all day need baths,” he says, “So go on,” he says.

“I don’t want to,” Harry says again.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to, you’re taking a bath,” Snape says getting up from the table, “Now don’t make me say it again, come on.”

Harry reluctantly climbs down from the chair going to the bathroom, where Snape ran some water into the bath, helped him undress, and placed Harry into the bathtub.

“Plimpy,” Harry says reaching for the toy.

Snape hands Harry the toy plimpy and sits on the edge of the bath, beginning to wash Harry’s hair.

“Don’t splash,” Snape says when Harry got too excited and began splashing his toy in the bathwater.

Harry frowns, holding out the Plimpy to Snape.

Snape looks at Harry for a moment, “You can keep it,” he says softly.

Harry grins, dunking his toy into the bathwater.

A moment later Snape feels a hand on his shoulder, at the same moment Harry holds out his sopping wet Plimpy again dripping it over the sides of the bathtub. Snape sighs softly, looking over his shoulder seeing Sirius standing there.

“Keep him in the bath with you,” Sirius smiles looking down at Harry, who grins and dunks the toy into the water again.

Sirius looks down at Snape, “Want me to finish in here?” he asks.

Snape watches Sirius, and he’s somehow surprised by how gently he’s looking at him, and Snape doesn’t like it, “That’s alright,” he murmurs, somehow finding himself leaning into Sirius’s hand, rubbing gently at his shoulder, “I’ll get him ready for bed.”

Sirius smiles, “You’re sure?” he asks.

Snape nods, looking over at Harry who had started sinking his boat in the bathwater.

“I’m going to take a shower then,” Sirius says looking at Snape.

Snape nods, “Alright,” he says.

Sirius smiles leaning down and kissing Snape on the cheek, who grimaces but doesn’t pull away. Snape realized the moment Sirius had turned to walk away how much he had been enjoying having his shoulders rubbed and wondered if Sirius would do it again.

Snape finishes bathing Harry, wrapping him in a towel as he carries him into the bedroom, where he summons some pajamas and dresses Harry. Snape places Harry on the floor of his bedroom and watches him immediately go for the pile of stuffed animals on the floor. Snape watches him for a moment before taking the towel back to the bathroom, waving his wand once, to clean the bathroom before walking back to Harry’s room sitting down in the rocking chair, letting out a long yawn as he watches Harry play with his stuffed animals.

Ten minutes later Sirius walks into the room smiling when he sees Harry playing, he walks over to Snape, “Hey,” he says softly.

“Hi,” Snape says frowning as Sirius sits down on his lap, “What are you doing?” he asks.

Sirius smiles wrapping his arms around Snape’s shoulder, “Watching Harry play,” he says softly.

“Get off me,” Snape mutters.

Sirius frowns, “Are you really upset with me?” he asks.

Snape sighs, “Get off me,” he says again.

Sirius frowns, getting up from Snape’s lap, “Where are you going?” he asks when Snape gets up after him.

“I’m tired, you put him to bed,” Snape says.

Sirius looks at Snape, with a hint of worry, “You always put him to bed Severus.”

“He likes you better anyways,” Snape replies, “Just put him to bed.”

Sirius sighs watching Snape walk out of the room before glancing down at his watch, it was too early to put Harry to bed, he’d be up too early in the morning if he put him to bed just now.

Snape takes his copy of _The History of Hexes_ with him to bed, sitting on the bed, beginning to read to relax his mind.

The sound of a baby crying from the other room takes Snape out of his thoughts. Snape frowns looking down at his watch, it was nearing nine in the evening. Harry should be asleep, why he was still up and crying Snape wasn’t sure.

“Severus,” Sirius says softly.

Snape frowns looking up to see Sirius standing in the doorway holding Harry, who had his thumb in his mouth and had visible tears on his cheeks.

“What is going on?” Snape asks setting his book on the nightstand, beside a letter addressed to Sirius.

Sirius looks at Snape for a moment before answering, “Harry’s sleepy,” he says, hoping that Snape would help him put Harry to bed finally.

Snape sighs softly, getting up from the bed and walking over to Sirius, “Come on then,” he says holding his arms out, Harry immediately stretches his arms out for Snape, hooking his tiny arms around Snape’s neck, “Take that out of your mouth,” Snape says tapping on Harry’s wrist, expecting him to take his thumb out of his mouth.

Harry frowns but takes his thumb out of his mouth, laying his head on Snape’s shoulder.

“It’s time for bed,” Snape says walking back to Harry’s room, “No more crying.”

Sirius follows Snape to Harry’s room, watching as Snape places Harry into the cot. Harry reaches out when Snape places him in the cot.

Snape reaches down picking up a stuffed cat placing it in the cot beside Harry. Harry clutches onto the cat, placing his thumb back into his mouth.

“Take that out of your mouth,” Snape says placing a blanket over Harry.

Harry frowns but pulls his thumb out of his mouth again, clutching tighter to his toy cat.

“It’s time for bed,” Snape says softly.

“Goodnight Harry,” Sirius says, leaning down to kiss his forehead and Harry smiles up at him.

Snape gently tucks the blanket around Harry, “Go to sleep,” he says, before ushering Sirius out of the room turning the light off as they leave the room, shutting the door behind them.

Sirius looks over at Snape, “I think he likes you better,” he says, turning Snape’s words back on him.

Snape rolls his eyes, “I don’t baby him the way you do,” he says.

Sirius frowns, “He is a baby,” he insists.

“Whatever,” Snape says, walking back to their bedroom, going to change into his pajamas. Snape dresses in his nightshirt, and when he steps into the bedroom Sirius is standing beside the bed holding out a glass of firewhiskey to him.

“You’ve earned it,” Sirius says offering Snape the glass.

Snape takes the glass and finishes the liquor in one sip. Sirius refills the glass, nudging Snape to have another. Snape down the second glass just as quickly, holding the glass back out to Sirius, who refills the glass again.

Snape looks over at Sirius, “Are you trying to get me drunk?” he asks.

Sirius smiles looking at Snape, “No, I just want you to relax,” he says softly.

Snape looks at Sirius, “No more,” he says before drinking the last of the firewhiskey, handing Sirius back the empty glass.

Sirius fills the glass once more, this time drinking it himself.

Snape climbs into bed, watching Sirius take the glass back to the kitchen.

Sirius comes back a minute later, shutting the door behind him, as he turns on the baby monitor, taking note of the letter on the nightstand before changing into his pajama pants and crawling into bed beside Snape.

“So, you've seen the letter,” Sirius says softly, looking over at Snape.

“Yes,” Snape replies, "And I really don't have the energy to talk to you about it right now."

"We'll have to talk about it at some point, Severus," Sirius says next.

Severus sighs, he didn't want to think about the letter, let alone talk about it, he didn't even know what to say about it.

_Dear Mr. Black,_

_We are very sorry to hear that you've had such difficulties conceiving over the years. We are aware that these situations can be difficult, and create a strain on any marriage, however, following an appointment with our matron we should be able to find you an appropriate solution. At this time the Ministry will provide counseling as well as additional medical resources to aid in your conception._

_Best Wishes,_

_Bridgitte Belle_

_Public Information Services office, Ministry of Magic_

"What do you think they mean by medical resources?" Sirius asks.

Severus sighs, "I really don't know Sirius, Potions? Charms? Could be anything," he mutters.

Sirius sighs looking over at Snape, “You’ve seemed upset all evening,” Sirius says.

“I’m fine,” Snape says.

“You’re not fine,” Sirius insists, “What’s the matter?” he asks.

“It doesn’t matter Sirius,” Snape says not looking at Sirius.

“It does matter,” Sirius insists, “You barely spoke to me, you didn’t eat your dinner, and you wanted nothing to do with Harry.”

Snape shrugs, “None of those things are strange,” he says plainly.

Sirius sighs, “I know you’re upset with me Severus,” he says.

“I’m not upset with you,” Snape replies.

“I am sorry that I wasn’t watching him, I turned my back for a moment,” Sirius says, “I know I can’t do that, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again Severus, just please talk to me?” he sighs.

“I told you I’m not upset with you,” Snape says again.

“What’s the point of lying about this Severus?” Sirius asks.

“You really want to know why I’m upset?” Snape snaps a moment later turning to face Sirius.

“Yes,” Sirius says firmly.

“He’s barely three, and he’s exactly like his father,” Snape snarls, “Mischievous, disrespectful, does whatever he wants regardless of what he’s told.”

Sirius stares back at Snape, he wasn’t quite sure what to say, he now understood why Snape was having such a hard time and he really did feel sorry for him. It was more apparent now than ever that Harry was James’s child, and that couldn’t be easy for Snape.

“He’s only three,” Sirius says softly, “He’s not disrespectful or mischievous, just because,” Sirius says, “He just doesn’t know any better Severus,” Sirius says.

“You give him so little credit Sirius,” Snape says shaking his head, “He is a smart child.”

“But he’s just a baby,” Sirius insists, “He’s not doing these things just to be mean to you,” he says.

“He’s too much like his father,” Snape says, turning away from Sirius.

Sirius sighs softly watching Snape for a moment, “But he’s so much like Lily too,” he says softly, “I spend more time with him than you get to, but I see so much of her in him,” Sirius sighs, “He likes to play healer with his teddy, I think it’s because Lily gave it to him.”

Snape sighs immediately reminded of the times Lily practiced her healing magic on him when Snape would have some kind of magic-related injury.

“The other day we went for a walk, and when we got back, I put him for a nap, and he managed to conjure daisies, he’d seen them earlier on our walk,” Sirius says softly, “And he has her eyes.”

Snape doesn’t day anything, he saw Lily every time he looked at Harry, he couldn’t mistake those eyes for anything.

“He is Lily’s child too, Severus,” Sirius says softly, “He can’t help that he looks like his father.”

“He can help acting like him,” Snape mutters.

Sirius frowns, “He’s a baby,” he says quietly, “He never knew that side of James,” he whispers, “He has no idea he’s doing anything to upset you, Severus,” Sirius sighs, “He knows you’re the one who takes care of him, you’re the one who feeds him breakfast, you’re the one who puts him to bed at nights, If he knew he was doing something to upset you, he would stop, he cares about you Severus,” Sirius says, “But he’s just a baby.”

“I know he’s just a child,” Snape says turning to look at Sirius, “I know he’s not his father, I’m just frustrated with myself,” he sighs, “Because I thought I was well over the things James did to me, and he looks and acts just like him.”

“He’s just a baby,” Sirius says softly reaching out gently stroking Snape’s shoulder, “We just have to teach him differently,” he says softly, “I spend more time with him, and yes he does have his moments where he reminds me so much of James, but more times than not, I see Lily when I look at him,” he says softly, “He reminds me so much of her,” he sighs softly.

Snape sighs, turning away from Sirius, “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

“Come here,” Sirius says softly, pulling Snape into his arms.

Snape frowns, “Let me go,” he says, shrugging Sirius off of him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sirius says, wrapping his arms around Snape’s waist pressing his chest against Snape’s back.

“I don’t want you to touch me,” Snape says.

“I’m not letting go,” Sirius says, laying his head against Snape’s shoulder blade.

“Come on, Sirius,” Snape sighs.

Sirius sighs, “I need this right now,” he mutters, “I need you right now.”

Snape sighs heavily, blinking away the stray tear in the corner of his eye, not saying another word as Sirius clings tight to him.

It’s just days before the end of July and Snape was sat at his desk, finishing a report on the England Botanical School, when there was a knock on his office door.

“Enter,” Snape replies, looking up from his desk.

“I just came to drop these by,” A young blonde with says stepping inside, handing Snape a stack of papers, “The Yorkshire Dramatic arts school,” she says with a smile.

Snape nods taking the papers from her, “Thank you,” he says expecting her to leave. When she doesn’t leave Snape looks rather curiously, “Something else I can do for you, Miss Ainsworth?”

She smiles, “No,” she says, “I heard you were taking some time off,” she says casually.

Snape doesn’t like where this is going, but replies anyways, “Yes,” he says, “I’ll be taking the week off.”

“It’s your son’s birthday, right?” she asks looking down at Snape, who was narrowing his eyes across the room at her suspiciously, “Your adoptive son, I mean.”

Snape purses his lips together in a thin line, crossing his arms over his chest but says nothing, he did not appreciate the invasion of privacy.

“I mean, everyone knows,” She continues, “The Potter’s horrible death,” she says solemnly, “He was just a baby, he was lucky to have someone to take him in like that, you know in school, we would have never thought Sirius Black would end up as anybody’s father,” she rambles on.

Snape leans back slightly in his chair watching her with a curiosity before reaching into the pocket on his robes, pulling his wand out and it upon the desk, “He is still a baby, and I will not have you continuing to gossip around this office about my husband, and my son,” he says firmly, “Now Miss Ainsworth, I strongly suggest that you leave my office in the next five seconds before I hex you into the next millennium,” he says calmly crossing his legs under his desk.

The young witch frowns, and her fingers begin to twitch nervously, “I didn’t mean any harm,” she whispers, “We, the other professors I mean, wanted to bring him a birthday present,” she says, pulling out a toy Doxy from her cloak pocket, “It uh, well it’s wings change colour,” she says, gingerly placing the toy upon the edge of Snape’s desk, looking back at Snape, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any disrespect,” she says quietly.

Snape looks down at the toy on the corner of his desk, before looking up at Miss Ainsworth, “Leave my office,” he says again.

“Yes, of course, Sir,” she says turning around quickly.

“And Miss Ainsworth,” Snape says looking at her.

“Yes, Sir?” She answers, turning back to him.

“You would be wise to keep what I said in mind about my husband and my son,” he says, “And you can pass that information to your colleagues.”

Miss Ainsworth nods quickly, “Yes, Sir, of course,” she murmurs, “Have a lovely holiday.”

That evening after putting Harry to bed, Sirius turns on the baby monitor and crawls into bed beside Snape, “You said your work colleagues gave it to him?”

Snape nods not looking up from his book, “For his birthday.”

Sirius smiles, “Maybe I’ll bring him by your office when you go back, just to say thank you, so they can see him.”

Snape looks up from his book, looking over at Sirius, “I’d rather you didn’t,” he says, “He doesn’t need the extra attention,” he says.

“They’re being nice Severus,” Sirius insists.

“I don’t trust them with him,” Snape says finally.

“I’m not going to leave him with them,” Sirius says, “I’ll be there the whole time, and you’ll be there.”

Snape looks at Sirius, “You’re not bringing him to my office, don’t bring it up again Sirius,” Snape says closing his book, placing it on the nightstand.

“Okay,” Sirius says, “We won’t stop by,” he says, looking over at Snape.

Snape sighs softly, “Will you turn the light,” he says lying down under the sheets.

Sirius nods turning the light off, before lying down beside Snape, gingerly placing his arm around Snape’s waist.

“You’re touching me,” Snape mutters a moment later.

Sirius smiles, “Do you want me to stop?” he asks gently rubbing his hand over Snape’s waist, down his thigh, teasing the hem of his nightshirt.

“No,” Snape says in a low voice.

“You want me to continue?” Sirius asks, slipping his hand under Snape’s nightshirt.

Snape nods slowly, turning to lay on his back as Sirius’s hands travel up his thigh, “I want you to continue.”

Sirius smiles, “That’s what I wanted to hear,” he says softly, at the same time pulling down Snape’s underwear tossing them to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I truly truly appreciate you! And thank you so much for those of you who have chosen to interact with me in the form of leaving Kudos or even leaving a comment and starting a conversation with me about this story. I am all about engaging with you guys, and "Talking shop" and answering questions you may or may not have. I will say that questions, comments, concerns from my lovely readers are the reason I took yet another look at this piece as a whole and decided to address concerns that many of you had about this story and where it was going, and at a place where I previously decided to end a storyline within this fic, have decided to bring it full circle if you will. I'm not trying to give any spoilers, but for those of you who continue to keep reading hopefully your concerns (and possible wish fulfilment) will be addressed and resolved. Thank you all so much for your time in reading this fic! and for reading my little author notes. Again, I cannot thank you all enough! ♥ See You next week!


	12. Like Godfather like Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Harry gets older, Sirius and Snape have a whole new set of challenges that come with raising a child. Snape finds himself having feelings he never thought he would ever have, and Sirius has to find a way to explain to Harry that he shouldn't follow in his footsteps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE :: This chapter has mentions of Mpreg. A fairly bit of detailed conversation takes place.

4 years later

Snape steps out of the fireplace, pulling off his cloak and hanging it up.

“You’re home,” Sirius says pleasantly, walking over to Snape.

Snape nods allowing Sirius to kiss him briefly.

“How was work?” Sirius asks watching as Snape takes off his shoes and sets them beside the fireplace.

“Fine,” Snape answers looking around the oddly quiet room, “Where’s the boy?” he asks.

“Harry is playing at his friend, Joshua’s house,” Sirius says, “I told you yesterday he had a playdate,” he says.

Snape raises an eyebrow in indifference, “Doesn’t he have homework to be doing?” he asks.

Snape had pulled some string to make sure Harry got into _Devonshire Wizarding Preparatory Academy_ , one of the top wizarding Prep schools for children his age. Which Sirius had asked him to do.

“They’re working on homework,” Sirius insists, “That doesn’t mean they can’t have fun together too,” he says softly.

“Hmm,” Snape murmurs, “Alright then,” he says deciding to drop the subject and enjoy his quiet time.

“Would you like some tea?” Sirius asks as Snape makes his way into the bedroom.

“Sure,” Snape replies before going to change out of his work robes. Sirius hands him a cup of tea a minute later when Snape steps out of the bedroom.

“Thank you,” Snape says taking his tea into the living room, where he began to scan over the Daily Prophet.

Sirius watches him for a moment before going to finish making dinner, chicken with vegetables.

“I heard a rumor the other day,” Sirius says trying to sound casual, as he sets dinner in the oven, using a warming spell to keep it from getting cold until they sat down for dinner.

“What’s that?” Snape asks as he turns the page of the Prophet.

“I heard that the Malfoys are sending their son to Devonshire Prep this year,” Sirius says.

Snape looks up from his paper, looking over at Sirius who was now standing beside the sofa, “I suppose it could be true,” he says, “I don’t do too much with transfers,” he says.

“I don’t want him corrupting Harry with their filth,” Sirius says suddenly.

“What are you talking about?” Snape asks.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Sirius says firmly, “I don’t think it’s a good idea that Harry associates with those lot,” he says, “Considering everything that happened.”

“I don’t have the authority to tell anyone what school they can and can’t send their children to Sirius,” Snape says looking over at his husband, “And even if I could, it’s unethical to do so based upon the fact that my husband doesn’t like their family.”

Sirius glares over at Snape, “You know damn well it’s not about me, It’s about Harry’s safety,” he says, “How do you think kids will react when they find out what Malfoy believes, and the part he played in Harry’s childhood,” Sirius says.

“First off,” Snape says folding up his paper, realizing he wasn’t going to be able to finish reading it with this conversation happening, “The Malfoy boy was an infant when this was going on, as was Harry,” he says, “Therefore he couldn’t have had an opinion when any of that was happening,” he says, “And second off, even if by some chance, they did teach their son those ideologies, he wouldn’t even know what any of it means,” Snape says.

“That’s what I’m saying Severus,” Sirius says quickly, “He’s blind to what it truly means, and if he comes around Harry, and-“

“Thirdly,” Snape says interrupting, “The Malfoy’s care too much about their image to allow their child to treat Harry any way but with the utmost pride, especially in public,” he says, “I guarantee you, if I ask around, we’ll find out the only reason they’re doing this is to give themselves something else to brag about, that their son went to Prep school with the famous Harry Potter,” Snape says with a visible grimace. He absolutely hated when Harry would get special treatment, he felt it was setting him up to be spoiled and privileged, if it were up to him, Harry would have gone to a muggle school.

Sirius looks back at Snape hating that he might be right, it still did not make it right, however.

“There’s still time to put him in a muggle school,” Snape says with a small smirk.

Sirius glares back at Snape, knowing that Sirius didn’t want Harry in one of those muggle primary schools, “Oh fuck off,” he snaps.

Snape looks up at Sirius, “Have I touched a nerve?” he teases.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “You’re a bastard.”

Snape glances down at his watch, with what Sirius knew to be a small smile, “When’s the boy going to be home?” he asks.

“Why?” Sirius shrugs.

“You know why,” Snape says in a low voice, glancing up at Sirius.

Sirius watches Snape for a moment trying not to grin, as he figures out what Snape was really saying, “Tell me,” Sirius says sitting down on Snape’s lap.

Snape looks at Sirius, he can see the playful and mischievous nature in his eyes, “Let’s go to bed,” he says getting up, lifting Sirius.

Sirius grins, wrapping his legs around Snape's waist as Snape carries him to their bedroom before dropping him onto the bed.

Sirius reaches up, undoing the buttons on Snape’s robes as Snape reaches for his trousers, pulling the zipper down on Sirius’s jeans before pulling the trousers off his body, throwing them onto the floor.

“What brought this on, Severus?” Sirius asks after, letting his eyes close as he lays down against Snape’s thin body.

Snape shrugs, “Those are new trousers you were wearing,” he murmurs.

Sirius grins, “So you like my new jeans then?”

“They don’t leave much to the imagination,” Snape murmurs.

Sirius grins, “So are you going to start wearing trousers for me then?” he smirks.

Snape blushes a visible shade of scarlet, “Stop that,” he mutters.

Sirius grins leaning over, kissing Snape on the lips, “I love you.”

Snape turns away, pushing Sirius off of him with an amused look on his face.

"Shag like that might actually get me pregnant," Sirius teases.

Snape grimaces, "Really, Sirius?" he says looking at Sirius who only smirks in response, "Aren't you infertile?" Snape asks next.

This makes Sirius laugh, "No, dear husband, I'm not," he says, "Matron says I'm perfectly fertile," he says looking at Snape, "Only conclusion to my infertility is it must be your little swimmers."

This time Snape laughs, "No, no, I'm perfectly virile," he says looking at Sirius.

"Are you now?" Sirius smirks, "Care to test out that theory?"

"You are insatiable," Snape says next.

"What? Having trouble keeping up with your young, fit, husband?" Sirius smirks.

Snape frowns looking over at Sirius, "You're older than me," he insists.

"Then that's really saying something isn't it?" he teases as he gets up pulling his trousers on, just as the fireplace whirs in the next room.

Sirius gives Snape a knowing look before walking into the living room to greet their son.

Snape rolls over on the bed, closing his eyes for a brief moment, wishing he could just go to bed right now, instead he gets up and pulls his robes back on. Snape steps out of the bedroom a few minutes later to see Sirius walking out of the bathroom, “Wash up for dinner,” he smiles back at Snape. Snape steps into the bathroom, watching his reflection in the mirror while he washes up.

Snape walks into the living room, seeing Harry sitting at the dinner table and Sirius setting plates on the table.

“Hi Dad,” Harry says when Snape sits down at the table.

“How was school today?” Snape asks, thanking Sirius when he sets dinner in front of him.

“Fine,” Harry says, “Josh said that his dad is an Unspeakable and that you know them because you both work at the Ministry together,” Harry says excitedly.

Sirius sits down at the table, beginning to eat his dinner.

“I don’t really know any of the Unspeakables,” Snape says after a moment of silence, “They tend to keep to themselves,” he says, “Their work is very private.”

“But Josh said,” Harry says with a visible frown.

Children and their emotions Snape thinks to himself, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, “His father may know of me, my work isn’t nearly as secretive as the Unspeakables,” he says.

“I just thought it would be cool if me and Josh were friends, and his dad and my dad were friends,” Harry grins.

Sirius is unable to contain the grin on his face as he tries to stifle the laugh he was holding in.

Snape glares across the table at Sirius but doesn’t say anything to him, “What did you and Joshua do today?” suddenly curious as to what his child was getting up to at that school.

Harry shrugs, “We had to pick some scurvy grass for our homework,” Harry says, “Josh’s mum helped us grow it and pick it, then we played exploding snap,” he says.

“Do you know what scurvy grass is for?” Snape asks looking at Harry.

Harry shrugs, “Just looks like normal grass to me,” he says.

Snape frowns, “What are they teaching you at that school?” he asks.

Harry shrugs, “We learned about something called a hover charm,” he says, “I couldn’t do it though,” Harry sighs looking down at his dinner plate.

“You used to do that all the time when you were little Harry,” Sirius smiles, “We couldn’t leave you alone without things starting to hover all over the place.”

“Really?” Harry asks excitedly.

Sirius nods, “When you were little and started crying things started floating all over the house,” he laughs lightly.

“So do you think I could still do it?” Harry asks looking from Sirius to Snape.

“As you get older it becomes harder for you to do magic without a wand,” Snape says.

“You do magic without a wand all the time,” Harry insists.

“I am much older than you are,” Snape says, “And I practiced a lot,” he says.

“I’ve seen you do magic without even saying spells,” Harry says excitedly, “You think I can do that?!”

“As I said, I’ve had a lot of practice,” Snape says looking over at Harry, “If you practice, and study then you might be able to do it one day,” he says.

“But if you can’t, it doesn’t mean you’re not any good Harry,” Sirius insists, “Not everyone can do magic without their wand.”

“Can you?” Harry asks.

“I don’t have to use an incantation to perform magic, but most of the time I still need my wand,” Sirius says looking back at Harry.

“I can’t wait to do magic for real,” Harry sighs contently beginning to daydream.

Snape looks over at Harry before looking over at Sirius, a look of confusion on his face.

After dinner, Harry was in his bedroom playing with his wizard's chess set, while Snape was in the living room reading a book when Sirius comes into the living room.

“I need to talk to you,” Sirius says standing beside the sofa looking at Snape.

“What is it?” Snape asks glancing up from his book at Sirius.

“I need you to get Harry from school tomorrow,” Sirius says.

Snape frowns, “You always get him from school,” he says.

“I can’t tomorrow,” Sirius says, “I need you to do it,” he says.

“Why can’t you do it?” Snape sighs, he didn’t want to get Harry from school, he didn’t like going to that school if he could help it.

Sirius is quiet for a moment before handing Snape a folded piece of parchment, "From the Ministry," he says.

_Dear Mr. Black,_

_We are writing to inform you that your grace period is coming to an end. The Ministry understands that these have been trying times for you and your spouse, and are writing to offer additional resources. An appointment with a specialized Healer has been scheduled for you tomorrow afternoon at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, where an assessment will be performed to determine the next logical steps for conception or termination of efforts. At which time you will be required to file either an intent to conceive or an intent to terminate per medical advice. You will receive a confirmation of your intent by end of day.  
_

_Best Wishes,_

_Bridgette Belle_

_Public Information Services Office, Ministry of Magic_

Snape frowns, “Intent to terminate," he murmurs, "I've heard of these," he says looking up at Sirius.

"What is it?" Sirius asks curiously.

Snape sighs, "It's a medical form filled out by a Healer," he says looking at Sirius, "It basically states that for whatever reason you were unable to concieve," he says.

Sirius bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks about this for a moment, "So that does mean there is something wrong with me," he mumbles.

"Not necessarily," Severus says, "I've asked around a bit, and these are not as uncommon as you'd think," he says, "It could be something as simple as the enchantment of a potion that's meant to make the embryo viable, needs adjusting or a different enchantment needs to be in place, it could be as simple as the potion that was meant to alter your genetic material never actually did, it could be a number of things Sirius, including fault on my part, I might not be as virile as I like to think I am," he says.

Sirius sighs dropping down onto the sofa beside Snape, "The matron said I was fully fertile," Sirius insists.

"From what I've read, and heard about, it might not be that simple," Snape says looking over at his husband, "You could be physically fertile, but missing the genetic component," he says, "Magic isn't always foolproof, and this sort of experimental magic is always being changed," he says, "There's no way to know what is truly going on until you see a Healer," he says.

"Well fuck," Sirius swears running his fingers through his hair.

“What’s fuck?” Sirius turns to see Harry standing in the doorway.

Snape frowns looking over at Harry, "Don't say that word," he says.

Harry frowns, “Why not?” he asks curiously.

“Because it’s a naughty word,” Sirius says, “Don’t say it again, Harry.”

“Why do you get to say it then?” Harry asks.

Snape narrows his eyes at Harry, “Come here,” he says gesturing for Harry to come closer to him.

Harry walks over to Snape, standing in front of him.

Snape looks back at Harry, “You are not to say that word ever again,” he says looking back at Harry, “If I hear that you’ve said that word, there will be consequences,” Snape says firmly, “Do I make myself clear?”

Snape hadn’t raised his voice, he didn’t need to, Harry knew that Snape was being serious and he knew better than to disobey that tone of voice, “Yes,” Harry murmurs.

“Yes, what?” Snape asks.

“Yes, Sir,” Harry supplies a moment later looking up at Snape.

“Good,” Snape says, “Now what are you doing out here, it’s nearly time for you to go to bed,” he says.

Harry bites his lower lip momentarily, before confessing, “I wanted to know if I could have some ice cream,” he says.

“No, you may not have any ice cream,” Snape says, “I understand you ate an entire bag of Jelly Slugs this afternoon before you had your dinner,” he says.

Harry turns his eyes down; he didn’t know how Snape had known about the Jelly Slugs.

“Is that true?” Snape asks.

Harry thinks about telling a lie, but thinks better of this and admits the truth, “Yes, Sir,” he mutters.

“Right,” Snape says looking back at Harry, “In that case, you can have a glass of water, if you’d like, and you can go get ready for bed and we’ll be in shortly to check on you.”

“Why not now?” Harry asks.

Snape looks back at Harry eyeing him curiously, wondering why the boy insisted on pushing his buttons this late in the evening, “The adults are having a conversation that does not involve children,” Snape says, “Now take your water if you’d like, and go back to your room,” Snape says watching Harry standing there, “Now,” he adds a moment later when Harry doesn’t move.

Sirius glares over at Snape before turning to Harry, “We’ll be in, in a moment to say goodnight Harry,” he says softly, “Here, take your water,” Sirius says summoning a glass of water, handing it to Harry, kissing the top of his forehead, “Go on.”

Harry takes his glass of water and walks back to his bedroom shutting the door with annoyance clear on his face.

"Should we even be trying to have a child?" Sirius asks next, "I mean Harry is older now, almost going to Hogwarts," Sirius says.

"I don't know," Snape says looking back at Sirius, "I mean, neither of us wanted a child," Snape says.

"You're right," Sirius says looking over at Snape, "Then we tried and tried and I couldn't get pregnant, still can't apparently, and then we adopted Harry and I just sort of forgot about it for a while, you know."

Snape nods, he did know. If the letters weren't so insistent, he's sure they would have stopped trying ages ago.

"It's not like we don't have a child," Snape says softly, "We raised him, he's _our_ child."

Sirius nods, "He is," Sirius agrees, "And I don't think I need to fulfill something else," he says looking at Snape, "I don't feel incomplete, I mean."

"Okay," Snape says watching Sirius, "But will you feel that way tomorrow? In an exam room after an assessment by a Healer?"

"I am perfectly happy with the way our family is, yes," Sirius says.

Snape nods, "So, per medical advice, a termination?" he asks.

"A termination, I think," Sirius says looking at Snape.

Snape sighs softly, "Oh, Sirius," he murmurs, "Come," he says holding his arm out.

Sirius looks at Snape with wide eyes, it was so rare that Snape initiated affection for him, Sirius doesn't think twice before nuzzling himself against Snape's body, wrapping his arms around his waist. Snape wraps his arms affectionately around Sirius, surprised by how natural it felt to show the other man this kind of sweetness, and he was starting to see why this appealed to Sirius so much but wasn't quite sure he was ready to do often or for long periods like Sirius was used to.

"I know we haven't talked about it in a while," Snape says looking at Sirius, "But, I'm willing to try the regime if you think it's too much for you," he says softly.

Sirius looks up at Snape, "Oh Severus," he says with a sparkle in his eye, "You'd do that for me?"

Snape is quiet for a moment, "For us," he says, "Yes, but only if you think it's what you want," he says, "A termination is a perfectly acceptable, logical conclusion at this late stage I think."

"I love you," Sirius says leaning over capturing Snape's lips between his, kissing him firmly.

Snape blushes lightly as he allows Sirius's tongue to slip past his lips, as his hands gently caress Sirius's dark lose waves of his hair.

"Dad! I want a story!" Harry cries from his bedroom.

Sirius breaks the kiss, "That's you!" Sirius grins looking at Snape, "He calls you Dad," he smiles.

"You're Dad when he wants a bedtime story," Snape insists, "You always read to him, I don't like the bedtime reading."

Sirius smiles, this was true, he was only dad when Harry wanted a bedtime story, and Snape was dad every other time Harry said it, "You're right," he says leaning over kissing Snape on the lips.

Snape kisses Sirius back, gently rubbing his hand over Sirius's back, hoping this sweetness could stay a secret between them for the rest of their lives.

"I love you," Sirius says smiling back at Snape.

"I love you too," Snape says softly.

"Which story do you want Harry?" Sirius calls pulling himself up off the sofa, walking into Harry's bedroom.

The following afternoon, Snape steps out of the fireplace at _Devonshire Wizarding Preparatory Academy_ , walking up to the receptionist witch.

“Your child’s name, please,” The young witch says, looking down at a piece of parchment with names on it.

Snape clears his throat nervously, “Harry Potter,” he murmurs.

The witch looks up, “Harry Potter?” she says looking back at Snape, “You’re not Sirius,” she says, “Sirius always picks up Harry.”

Snape glares down at the witch, “Nice to know my husband keeps such lovely company,” he mutters.

The witch stares back with wide blue eyes, “Oh dear,” she murmurs, “Severus Snape, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

“My child,” Snape says interrupting her.

“Oh yes, straight away,” she murmurs before getting up, presumably going to collect the boy.

“Hi,” Harry says when he sees Snape.

“Hello,” Snape says looking at Harry regarding him with curiosity.

“I’m ready to go,” Harry says turning away from Snape’s gaze.

Snape frowns, “Where are your glasses?” he asks.

Harry shrugs, refusing to make eye contact with Snape.

Snape looks at Harry before looking over at the young witch behind the desk, before leading Harry to the opposite side of the room, “Where are your glasses?” he asks again.

Harry sighs, pulling his broken glasses out of the pocket on his cloak holding them out to Snape.

“What happened to your glasses?” Snape asks taking the broken frames from the dark-haired child, examining them closer for himself.

“T-they fell,” Harry stammers.

Snape looks down at Harry, “You fell?” he asks.

“Yes,” Harry says quickly.

“Then why didn’t you just tell your teacher?” Snape asks watching Harry.

“I-I don’t know,” Harry mutters.

Snape frowns, looking sternly back at Harry, “Don’t lie to me,” Snape says in a low voice, which causes Harry to look back at Snape, “I’ll ask you one more time, what happened to your glasses?” Snape asks.

Harry bites his lower lip before finally confessing the truth, “Austin Anderson pushed me down, called me four-eyed orphan, stepped on my glasses,” he rushes out of his mouth, as though he would get in trouble for saying anything about it.

Snape looks back at Harry, staying quiet for a moment as he takes this in before he asks, “Anderson?”

Harry nods, “He’s in my class,” Harry mutters, “He’s really awful.”

Snape looks down at Harry before pulling his wand out of his cloak pocket, mending the glasses with a silent spell, “Put your glasses back on,” Snape says softly, handing the glasses back to Harry.

Harry takes the mended glasses from Snape, slipping them onto his face as he smiles back at Snape, “Thanks Dad,” he says.

“Next time,” Snape murmurs walking Harry to the fireplace, “Tell your teacher you broke your glasses, don’t go the entire afternoon without being able to see,” he says, “Alright?”

Harry nods looking up at Snape.

“Your teacher could have fixed them for you as well,” Snape says.

Harry nods again.

“Alright, come on,” Snape says taking Harry by the hand, stepping up to the fireplace, just as it begins to stir with the arrival of an occupant.

Snape steps aside with Harry, watching the wizard step out of the fireplace, who steps out and stops dead in his tracks, clearly shocked to have seen Snape here.

“Snape,” the brunette wizard says in surprise.

“Anderson,” Snape says unconsciously gripping Harry’s hand tighter, as he watches the other wizard looking from him down to Harry, then back up at him again.

“Your son goes here too,” Anderson says, “Harry Potter,” he murmurs.

“He does,” Snape confirms looking back at the other wizard.

“I’ve brought Austin for you, Mr. Anderson,” the young witch says stepping up with a small boy, Harry’s age.

“Hi Dad,” the young boy says before looking over at Harry with Snape, saying nothing else.

Snape looks down at the young dirty blonde boy and can immediately see the resemblance between the boy and his father, “Your son, I presume.”

Anderson clears his throat, “Say hello Austin,” Anderson says, “This is my colleague from the Ministry, Professor Severus Snape.”

“Hello Sir,” Austin says quietly, turning his eyes down quickly.

“Well,” Anderson murmurs, “We must be going.”

Snape drops Harry’s hand, stepping forward, “Not so fast, Anderson.”

“What can I do for you, Snape?” Anderson asks.

“You can have your boy apologize to my son,” Snape says firmly.

Anderson looks taken aback, “Apologize for what?” he asks reaching for his son’s hand.

“For pushing down my son,” Snape says looking at Anderson, “Calling him an orphan and breaking his glasses,” Snape says firmly.

“Austin-,” Anderson starts.

“Bullied my child,” Snape supplies interrupting him.

“He never,” Anderson says aghast.

Snape looks back at Anderson, deciding he was done with this conversation, “This will end one of two ways Anderson,” Snape begins, “Your son, apologizes to my son and promises not to bully him anymore,” Snape says, “Or I go into my office tomorrow morning and pull the student records from this school,” Snape says looking at Anderson, “I wouldn’t be surprised to find that this isn’t an isolated incident involving only my son,” Snape says keeping eye contact with Anderson, making it clear that he wasn’t going to back down.

Anderson frowns, “You have no authority to expel my son,” he says firmly.

“No, but the Headmistress does,” Snape says, “And I can be here first thing in the morning for an audit.”

Anderson looks down at his son, “Austin, did you break Harry’s glasses? And say those horrible things about him?” he asks, “Do not think about lying to me right now, mister.”

“Yes,” the young boy mutters.

“Apologize,” Anderson says firmly, nudging his son to face Harry, “Now.”

“I’m sorry I called you a dirty orphan,” Austin mutters, “And stepped on your glasses.”

Anderson frowns down at his son, before grabbing him by the hand, “Let’s go,” he mutters, before looking back at Snape, “Shame on you, Severus Snape, threatening a child like that,” he says, “They’re just children, children can be mean to each other.”

“Child, or not, there is no excuse for cruelty,” Snape says, “See you at work, Anderson,” Snape says grabbing onto Harry’s hand, stepping into the fireplace.

Harry looks around once they step out of the fireplace, and is excited and confused, “Diagon Alley?” he asks looking up at Snape.

“Let’s get you ice cream, kid.”

Harry happily shovels spoonfuls of toffee ice cream into his mouth as Snape curiously eyes his toffee ice cream, eating a small spoonful, before deciding he didn’t hate it but it wasn’t his favorite thing.

Harry picks up his cherry from the top of his sundae biting into it happily, before looking over at Snape, “Thanks for the sundae,” he grins.

Snape nods, “You’re welcome,” he says watching Harry begin to shovel more ice cream into his mouth.

Snape watches Harry eat his ice cream, slowly nipping away at his ice cream suddenly finding himself wishing Sirius were here to eat his ice cream for him.

“Dad, are you sad?” Harry asks suddenly.

Snape frowns, “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“That I didn’t tell the teacher Austin was mean to me,” Harry says biting into his second cherry.

“No,” Snape says softly, “You were scared to say anything,” Snape says, “But you have no reason to be scared,” he says looking across the table at Harry.

“Were you ever scared like me?” Harry asks quietly, looking into his ice cream.

Snape swallows thickly but nods, “I had a bully when I went to school,” he says.

At dinner that evening Snape pokes at his peas, while Harry glares down at his lamb and potatoes. Sirius sighs softly, watching Harry refuse to eat his dinner.

“Would you like to talk about what’s on your mind then Harry?” Sirius asks folding his hands in his lap.

“No,” Harry grits out.

“Severus,” Sirius says looking across the table at his husband.

“Hmm?” Snape replies looking up at Sirius.

“I think we need to talk about this,” Sirius says.

“What else could possibly be said?” Snape asks, “He’s doing it for attention,” he mutters.

“I am not!” Harry cries.

Snape narrows his eyes at Harry, “Lower your voice in this house,” he says.

Harry shrinks back down into his seat with a visible frown on his face.

“Now we’re listening if you’d like to talk about what’s bothering you, but you will not shout,” Snape says watching Harry.

“I have answers for you Harry,” Sirius says softly, “If you’d like to ask questions about what happened.”

“What else is there to know!” Harry cries, “You were a bully to dad, just like Austin was a bully to me!”

“Settle down,” Snape says firmly looking over at Harry, “If you want to talk, we can do so with inside voices,” Snape says, “There is no need to shout.”

Harry sighs, propping his elbows up on the edge of the table, placing his face frustratedly between his hands.

Sirius sighs softly, “I was a mean kid,” he says, “There’s really no way around that.”

“However, people grow and change with time,” Snape says.

“James was always quicker to learn his lessons than I was,” Sirius says softly, “I took after him, but only reluctantly,” he says, “It wasn’t until I was much older that I really changed,” Sirius says, “Because it had to come willingly from me, not from someone else.”

“Sirius isn’t the same person he was when we were fifteen,” Snape says, “And you won’t be the same person you are today when you’re eleven and go off to school, people are constantly changing and growing from their life experiences,” Snape says, “And it is not fair for you to judge someone based on limited evidence,” he says looking over at Harry.

Harry sighs leaning back in his chair, looking down at his lap.

“Now, would you like to finish your dinner or go to bed hungry?” Snape asks looking at Harry.

“Severus,” Sirius hisses at the same time Harry frowns back over at him.

Snape looks at Sirius, he honestly thought that enough time had been spent on this subject and no longer wished to continue talking about it.

“Harry is processing his feelings right now,” Sirius says, “You can’t rush him into understanding what he’s feeling,” Sirius says narrowing his eyes at Snape, “Harry has every right to be upset if that’s what he’s feeling, and you just have to let him be upset,” Sirius says feeling angry with Snape for the first time in many years.

“Can I go to bed now?” Harry asks looking from Snape to Sirius.

“Harry,” Sirius frowns.

“I’m tired,” Harry says.

Snape says nothing but sits back in his seat, deciding he was not very hungry either.

Sirius sighs softly and nods, “Go on then.”

Harry climbs down from his chair, and walks to his room, shutting the door behind him.

“What is wrong with you?” Sirius asks turning to Snape.

“Where do you want me to start?” Snape asks.

“Stop that,” Sirius says, “Honestly Severus,” he says, “He’s just a child.”

“I’m aware,” Snape says.

“You can’t treat him like he has any understanding of what he’s feeling, and like he’s lashing out on purpose,” Sirius says, “Children his age have no control over how they react to things, he’s not having outbursts just to have them, he’s having outbursts because he’s scared and confused,” Sirius says.

Snape looks back at Sirius mildly impressed that Sirius was able to come to this conclusion on his own, “I’m aware of how little control children have over their emotions, and how they react much too quickly to what they’re feeling,” he murmurs, “However,” Snape says looking back at Sirius, “That does not mean that we need to just let this behavior happen, and say nothing about it,” Snape says, “How else is he supposed to begin to understand what he’s feeling, if we don’t put it into perspective for him,” Snape says, “Simply telling him to take a moment to calm himself before speaking will give him a moment to begin to sort exactly what emotion he is feeling at that moment,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “Or did you not notice, when I asked him to calm down his body language changed from that of aggression to that of sadness,” Snape says, “Often children don’t understand the difference between being angry and being upset about something.”

Sirius sighs heavily, “You just have the ability to apply logic to every situation, do you?” he asks looking over at Snape.

Snape scoffs, “No, absolutely not,” he says, “Otherwise I wouldn’t have threatened to have Anderson’s child expelled this afternoon, that was a moment of my emotions taking over.”

Sirius looks over at Snape, “You did not,” he says shocked but secretly impressed with his husband’s defense of their son.

Harry had decided he didn’t want to talk to Sirius anymore, which meant that Snape now had to deal with Sirius pouting about how Harry hated him and meant that Snape had to put Harry to bed on his own this evening.

Snape knocks on Harry’s bedroom door, “Are you getting ready for bed?” he asks, very aware of the fact that Sirius was watching him from the sofa with a magazine in his lap, not even pretending to read it.

A moment later the bedroom door opens slightly, “I’m almost ready for bed,” Harry murmurs.

“It’s bedtime now,” Snape says looking down at his watch before glancing back at Harry.

Harry sighs, “Fine,” he mutters stepping back from the door, before walking over to his desk beginning to put away his game. Harry crawls into bed a minute later, looking over at Snape, “Can I ask you something?” Harry asks quietly.

Snape sighs softly usually Sirius was the one to read Harry stories, Snape didn’t like this bedtime reading, even when Harry was small Sirius was the one who read to him, “Sirius is the one who reads with you, I’ll get him if you’d like,” he says.

“That’s not what I wanted to ask,” Harry says pulling his knees up to his chest.

“Hmm,” Snape murmurs, “What is it then?” he asks curiously.

“You must have hated my dad,” Harry says quietly.

Snape sighs, “Hate is a very strong word,” he says sitting down on the edge of Harry’s bed looking over at him.

“You must have hated Sirius too,” Harry sighs.

Snape is quiet for a moment before, “We did not get on when we were young.”

“But you married him,” Harry says.

“We didn’t get married because we wanted to,” Snape says, “We got married because we had to,” Snape says, “You will also be assigned a spouse when you become of age, and you will have no say in it either.”

Harry frowns looking up at Snape, “But you really seem to love each other,” he says sounding confused, “How could you love someone who did mean things to you?”

Snape looks away sighing softly, “I told you, people change,” he says, “Sirius isn’t the same person he was back when he was doing those mean things,” Snape says, “And I’m not the same person who is effected by those things anymore,” he says, “We’ve both grown into different people since we were in school together,” Snape looks at Harry before continuing, “Sirius cares for you, he wants what’s best for you and yes, there are times when he can be upsetting but he always means best,” Snape murmurs, “He’s not perfect he’s made mistakes, but we’ve all made mistakes, and we will all continue to make mistakes throughout the rest of our lives but those mistakes are no reason shut someone out,” he says, “Not a single person in the entire world is perfect but what matters is how we chose to live our future, how we treat others today and owning up to our mistakes, some mistakes can’t be fixed but you can always make amends.”

“Sirius has made amends?” Harry asks.

“We have both made amends,” Snape says looking at Harry.

“If you could forgive your bullies, I think I can forgive Austin,” Harry sighs.

“When you’re ready you will forgive,” Snape says, “You cannot force forgiveness.”

“I’m still upset,” Harry admits.

“That’s alright,” Snape says, “You can still be upset, as I said it will come when the time is right,” he says, “Alright?”

Harry nods and stretches his legs out on the bed, “Can I ask you something else?” he asks watching Snape rise from the edge of the bed.

“It’s your bedtime,” Snape says firmly.

“Can I say goodnight to Sirius?” Harry asks quickly.

Snape looks down at Harry for a moment before he nods slowly, before turning to leave the room.

“Is he asleep?” Sirius asks quietly when Snape steps into the living room.

“He’d like to say goodnight,” Snape says looking at Sirius.

Sirius stares with wide eyes, “Me?”

Snape nods, “Make it quick, it’s his bedtime.”

Sirius jumps up, hurrying to Harry’s room.

“Can I have my bear?” Harry asks looking up at Sirius.

Sirius nods picking up the bear from the shelf, swapping Harry’s toy cat for the stuffed bear, “There you are, darling,” he says placing the cat on the shelf above the bed, “Ready for bed then.”

Harry nods laying down on his bed, waiting for Sirius to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight like he did every night.

“We love you, Harry,” Sirius says softly, gently tucking Harry into bed.

“I know,” Harry says, as Sirius leans down kissing the top of his forehead.

“Goodnight sweet boy,” Sirius smiles watching Harry for a moment longer than usual before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

Sirius was not surprised to find that Snape had retreated to their bedroom. Sirius walks into the bedroom shutting the door behind him, finding Snape sitting on the bed in his nightshirt reading the letter he'd left on the nightstand.

“Oh,” Sirius murmurs, looking at Snape.

Snape sighs but says nothing, and sets the letter back on the nightstand, he was mentally exhausted and just wanted to go to bed.

"Do you want to talk about that?" Sirius asks quietly.

"Not at all, Sirius," Severus says looking back at him, "If you need to talk about it with me, we'll have to do it tomorrow, I'm very tired."

Sirius nods as he climbs into bed beside Snape, but he couldn't help himself, "Are you upset?" he asks.

"No," Snape says truthfully, he'd half-expected Sirius to make this decision, "This was your decision to make, and I'm sure you chose the one you felt would make you happiest," Snape says looking at Sirius, "Can we please, just go to bed," he sighs.

Sirius nods, “I don’t know what you said to Harry,” Sirius mutters, “But thank you.”

Snape turns over, pulling the sheets up over himself, “Don't worry,” he murmurs.

Sirius wraps his arms tight around Snape, lying his head against Snape's shoulder.

Snape frowns looking over at Sirius, “Off,” he mutters.

Sirius frowns, “Severus?”

Snape sighs softly, “Light off,” he mutters turning back over and closing his eyes.

Sirius smiles waving his hand at the lamp, turning the light off before allowing himself to settle against Snape.

Snape knew that Sirius wanted to talk right now, but he was just mentally exhausted right now, so he settled for allowing Sirius to lay against him, hoping it would be enough for him. This was enough for Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I so appreciate your time, and support throughout this story, and especially now as we wind down into the final chapters here! I do apologize for being so lax on keeping up with comments these days! University is back in session for me, and the pandemic certainly hasn't done me any favors in that department! But I do want to make sure that I let each and every one of you know how much I appreciate your time for reading this and sticking through till the end! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the story thus far, and we will see you all next Friday for our thrilling conclusion of this story! Thank you all so very much! ♥


	13. Am I alright? Or is this just a fever dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dumbledore presents him with a _light_ ultimatum, Severus Snape is forced to make a very big decision. After consulting his husband, and deciding for the safety of their son, Sirius, and Snape make a big change in their life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE :: Mpreg exist briefly. [not explicit/detailed/or described] 
> 
> So before we begin, Tags are important and make readers and writers happy. This story has gone through a bit of metamorphosis from when the idea was originally thought up, to the writing process, and even in the editing process. It's not often that I work over a piece of writing this much, but this one was one that was ever-evolving for me, up until the very last minute of posting. I truly hope it lives up to expectations that you have had of this fic. I also want to say thank you all so much for being here!!! your time is greatly appreciated, and I have enjoyed every bit of interaction I have had with each and every one of you. Thank you all so very much!  
> One last note, I borrowed the title of this chapter from a song by The WLDLFE ♥

July 1991

“The time is now Severus,” Dumbledore says looking across his desk at Snape.

Snape frowns, “You’re asking me to teach here full time,” Snape says.

“Yes,” Dumbledore says, “Ten years ago you made me a promise,” he says, “I told you I would call upon you when the time was here,” he says, “The time has come Severus, I need you here.”

“I can’t,” Snape says looking back at the Headmaster, “I have a family,” he says.

“Your son is about to attend Hogwarts,” Dumbledore says looking over at Snape, “He is the reason I need you here, now.”

Snape frowns, “But sir.”

“These were the conditions of the promise you made to me,” Dumbledore says.

“A promise you couldn’t keep,” Snape insists.

“I did not ask you to take a position in the Department of Magical Education to stay there your entire life,” Dumbledore says, “It was always leading to this, I need you here at Hogwarts Severus, your son needs you here.”

“I don’t only have a son,” Snape says looking at the Headmaster.

“Your husband will have a place here with you as well, I wouldn’t leave Sirius on his own at a time like this,” Dumbledore says.

Snape frowns, “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“Severus, I need you at Hogwarts now, it is imperative that you come, for the sake of your family,” Dumbledore says.

Snape sighs softly, unsure of what to say. He didn’t think he could say no, “I did everything you asked Headmaster, I took the boy in, raised him as my own, I took the job that you asked me to, I protected him, every day, just as you asked me to.”

“And it is because he still needs your protection, that I need you to come to Hogwarts, I have a position I need you to fill, it is very important, and I have a position for Sirius should he accept, but I need you here Severus, at the start of term.”

“I don’t think we have a choice,” Snape says looking over at Sirius, “He said it was imperative, he said it’s for his safety,” Snape says.

“Why wouldn’t he be safe at school?” Sirius asks looking at Snape, “I don’t understand.”

“He didn’t say,” Snape says, “He just said that he needs me there.”

“As the Potions teacher?” Sirius asks trying to piece together how this would solve the problem at hand.

“And the head of Slytherin house,” Snape says looking at Sirius, “I don’t think we have a choice,” he says, “What do you want to do?” he asks.

Sirius sighs, “It doesn’t sound like we have much of a choice,” he says looking over at Snape.

Snape opens his mouth to say something then quickly closes his mouth, as Harry emerges from his bedroom, “What are you doing?” Snape asks watching Harry walk into the kitchen.

“I got hungry,” Harry replies.

Snape looks down at his watch, “You just ate ginger newts, you are not hungry,” Snape says, “Go back to your room,” he says.

Harry had been caught in a lie.

"When did you give him biscuits?" Sirius asks looking at Snape, "I made him a sandwich when he came home from school, two in fact," he says looking from Snape to Harry.

"When I got home from work," Snape answers, looking back at Sirius before turning to Harry.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asks looking from Sirius to Snape.

Snape narrows his eyes at Harry, “We are having a conversation that is not for children,” he says, “Go to your room.”

Harry rolls his eyes, turning away.

“Do not roll your eyes at me,” Snape says, “It’s disrespectful.”

Sirius sighs, “Harry now is not the time,” he says, “Go to your room please,” he says, “We’ll have dinner soon, just please, Harry.”

Snape gets up from his seat, “Forget it, we’ll have to talk about it later,” he mumbles looking at Sirius.

“Severus,” Sirius sighs watching him walk off to the bedroom.

“Does this mean we get to have dinner now?” Harry asks looking at Sirius.

Sirius sighs pinching the bridge of his nose, “Harry, go to your room.”

Harry sighs and rolls his eyes as he turns to go back to his room.

“And stop rolling your eyes before I let Severus remove them from your head,” Sirius sighs.

Harry frowns, “Sorry,” he mutters walking back to his bedroom.

Sirius sighs watching Harry shut the door to his bedroom, before getting up to start dinner.

“I don’t like these,” Harry says pushing his peas around on his plate.

“Harry, just eat it,” Sirius sighs, “Why are you complaining so much today?” he asks.

“Why are you and dad, being so secretive today?” Harry replies.

Sirius looks at Harry, “Stay out of adult affairs, you’re ten years old,” he says.

“Almost eleven,” Harry grins.

“Eat your dinner and take your almost eleven-year-old bum to take a bath,” Sirius says.

“I don’t want to,” Harry insists.

Sirius smiles back a Harry, “Well I don’t care, you’re eating all your vegetables, and you’re taking a bath,” he says, “Severus is already in a foul mood, please Harry do not make it worse, just do as your told.”

Harry purposefully pushing Snape’s buttons usually meant Harry couldn’t have dessert, or couldn’t listen to his favorite radio program before bed, or worse, his father might take away his _Snitch Snatcher!_ game, which was currently Harry’s favorite game to play.

Harry frowns, “I’m sorry,” he mutters.

“Harry, I’m not the one you were disrespectful to,” Sirius says, “We have talked about this multiple times, you can’t just say whatever you want to Severus and me we’re your guardians, and we know what’s best for you and when we ask you to do something, it’s for your own good,” Sirius says, “This is not the first time I’ve had this conversation with you Harry, but I would very much like for this to be the last time we have this conversation together.”

“I’ll apologize,” Harry murmurs, poking at his peas with his fork.

“Thank you,” Sirius says gently patting Harry on the shoulder, kissing his cheek before going to bring Severus to the dinner table.

Snape sits down at the table a minute later and Sirius places a plate in front of Snape, before sitting down with his dinner.

“Thank you,” Snape says looking over at Sirius.

“You’re welcome,” Sirius says softly, beginning to eat his dinner in silence.

Snape barely eats three bites of his dinner, pushing his food around on his plate.

Harry finishes his dinner and Sirius gets up, clearing the table knowing Snape was not going to eat the food on his plate.

“Dad,” Harry murmurs.

Nine years later, and Snape doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing someone refer to him as their father.

“Yes?” Snape replies looking over at the young boy beside him at the table.

“I’m sorry, I was disrespectful earlier,” Harry says sighing heavily.

Snape looks at him curiously, wondering where this came from, “Yes, alright then,” he says, “How about you work on the attitude then."

“Severus,” Sirius scowls, glaring over at him.

Snape looks over at Sirius, before looking back at Harry, “I accept your apology,” Snape says looking at Harry.

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles.

Snape looks down at his watch, “It’s time for you to take a bath, and get ready for bed,” he says.

Harry nods, “Yes, Sir,” he says, getting up from the table.

“What is wrong with you?” Sirius asks once Harry was out of earshot.

Snape sighs, but doesn’t respond to Sirius.

“Severus,” Sirius says sending the clean plates to the cupboard with a spell.

“Sirius, I have other things to be worried about right now,” Snape says.

“Well Harry should be one of those things,” Sirius insists.

“He’s the main thing,” Snape says, “Dumbledore insists I have to do this for him.”

Sirius turns around leaning back against the countertop, looking over at Snape, “Do you remember the first time he called you dad?” Sirius asks.

Snape frowns, he doesn’t think he could ever forget that and he still isn’t used to being called dad, five years later, “What about it?” he asks.

“Harry came to me, and asked me why he didn’t have a mum and dad, like the other kids,” Sirius says, “I explained to him that he had a very beautiful mum and that his father was my best mate, and I explained what happened to them and how you and I were now his guardians and responsible for taking care of him, and then he asked me if that meant that you were his new dad, I told him that he could think of you that way if he wanted but that he had a father, James,” Sirius continues, “I also told him that you and I have been taking care of him since before he could remember.”

Snape very clearly remembers that evening.

_Snape was sitting on the sofa reading the evening edition of the Daily Prophet, when Harry came into the room and said, “Dad, can I have some Treacle Tart?”_

_Snape looked at Harry before looking around over his shoulder, sure he would see Sirius standing there because he was sure Harry couldn’t be talking to him, but when he realized he was the only one in the room it was clear that he was the one Harry was talking to._

_“Excuse me?” Snape says closing his copy of the Daily Prophet, looking at Harry._

_“Can I have some Treacle Tart?” Harry asks again._

_“Um, where is Sirius?” Snape asks, “You need to ask him.”_

_Harry frowns, “He said that I already had sweets today and needed to ask you if I could have some,” the five-year-old Harry replies._

_Snape watches Harry for a moment before replying, “I think you’ve probably had enough sweets for the day,” he says._

_“Please, dad?” Harry asks biting his lower lip, watching Snape._

_Snape looks back at Harry, he couldn’t understand why he was calling him that, “You can have one small piece,” he says, “And you brush your teeth straight away,” Snape replies getting up from the sofa._

_Harry grins, “Thanks dad!” he says excitedly, following Snape to the kitchen table._

_Snape cuts a small piece of Treacle Tart, placing it on a plate, “Sit,” he murmurs, setting the plate onto the table._

_Harry crawls up into the chair sitting down, as Snape hands him a spoon to eat with, “Don’t make a mess,” Snape says before turning around and seeing Sirius standing in the doorway at Harry’s bedroom._

“You’d put him up to that,” Snape mutters.

“I had not,” Sirius says, “I just didn’t want to give him more sweets, and I was sure you’d say no,” he says.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Snape asks.

“You’ve been taking care of Harry for longer than he realizes,” Sirius says softly, “I think you know exactly what you need to do, and I think once you say it aloud you’ll realize it’s the right decision.”

“We can’t just pick up and move to Hogwarts,” Snape says, “Life doesn’t work that way.”

Sirius looks at Snape, “London will always be our home, but Dumbledore is right Harry is going to be there now and if he thinks that Harry needs you to protect him, then he’s probably right and we have to, we are his guardians, it is our responsibility to make sure he’s safe,” Sirius says looking at Snape.

“Dumbledore said me, specifically,” Snape says, “That it was imperative that _I_ come, and that _I_ protect him, something that only I’m capable of apparently,” he sighs.

“Then I think this discussion is over,” Sirius says.

“Sirius,” Snape scoffs, watching him.

Sirius smiles walking over to Snape, gently rubbing his hand over his shoulder, before leaning down pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Snape grimaces, “I hate when you do that,” he mutters watching Sirius walk off to check on Harry.

It is just after two in the morning, and there’s a knock on the bedroom door, immediately waking Snape from his sleep. He sits up on the bed, instinctively reaching for his wand under his pillow. The sudden movement waking Sirius up.

“What’s going on?” Sirius mutters, pushing the hair out of his eyes.

“Dad, are you awake?” a small voice from the other side of the door calls.

Snape sighs, “It’s just the boy,” he says releasing his wand.

“You can come in Harry,” Sirius says reaching over and turning the lamp on as the bedroom door opens.

“What’s the matter?” Snape asks watching Harry nervously wringing his hands.

Harry frowns rubbing the side of his forehead, “Um, I, had a dream, it woke me up,” he mutters.

Sirius looks over at Harry, “Was it the same dream?” Sirius asks slowly.

Harry nods, “The green light.”

Sirius looks over his shoulder at Snape for a moment before turning back to Harry, “Come on, let’s get you back to bed,” Sirius says crawling out of bed, putting his arm around Harry walking him back to his bedroom.

Snape quickly throws the sheets off of himself getting out of bed and walking into the wardrobe quickly pulling out one of his old trunks, rifling through the contents.

“What the hell are you doing?” Sirius asks seeing Snape rifling through an old trunk.

“I need to find something,” Snape replies pulling out an old tattered book, _Magical afflictions caused by Dark Magic_. Snape quickly opens up the book, scanning through the index.

“What the hell are you looking for?” Sirius asks.

“Something about that scar,” Snape mutters.

“What scar?” Sirius asks.

“The boy’s scar,” Snape says looking up at Sirius.

“What about it?” Sirius asks.

“It was hurting him,” Snape says looking back at the book, quickly turning to the section on magically inflicted scars.

“He didn’t say it was hurting him,” Sirius says, “He said he had a dream.”

“He’s ten years old his body language isn’t that difficult to read,” Snape says, before closing the book frustratedly before rummaging through the trunk again.

Sirius sighs, “Okay, stop doing whatever you’re doing,” he says, “You’re freaking me out.”

Snape looks up at Sirius, “This is not something to take lightly Sirius,” Snape says, “That’s a scar inflicted by dark magic.”

Sirius looks back at Snape, “What are you saying? He’s being possessed by someone who’s supposed to have been dead for the last ten years,” Sirius says.

“I don’t know what it means,” Snape says, “But I don’t think it should be ignored.”

Sirius frowns, “Severus, you’re scaring me, is something going to happen to Harry?” he asks.

Snape looks back at Sirius, realizing now that Harry wasn’t the only one he was supposed to be looking out for, he sometimes forgot that someone else watching him get caught up in his own mind could be unsettling to watch.

“I’m sorry,” Snape says getting up from the floor, sending the books back into the trunk and sending the trunk back to the corner of the closet, “I’m sure he’s fine, it’s not the first time he had that dream, I may have just gotten worked up over everything with Dumbledore, and overreacted.”

Sirius frowns, “You’re not telling me something,” he insists.

“I jumped to conclusions without first having all of the evidence in front of me, there’s no evidence to suggest that he’s in any danger,” he says looking back at Sirius.

“Are you sure?” Sirius asks.

Snape looks back at Sirius, “I’m sorry,” he says softly.

Sirius sighs reaching for Snape’s hand, “Let’s go back to bed.”

Snape lays down on the bed turning the lights off, a moment later Sirius presses his back against Snape’s chest, pulling Snape’s arm around his body. Snape rests his hand against Sirius's waist and closes his eyes, but opens his eyes when he feels Sirius twitch slightly under his touch, something Sirius _never_ did.

Snape sighs heavily, "Sirius," he says in a serious tone of voice.

Sirius whimpers slightly, "I didn't know how to tell you," he insists.

"Oh for fucks sake," Snape swears turning over onto his back, "When were you going to say something? When we were standing in the hospital?"

"Well, that does sound like a good time," Sirius mutters.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Snape sighs.

"Obviously, I wasn't going to wait that long," Sirius says next rolling his eyes.

"This is hardly funny Sirius," Snape sighs, "With everything else going on right now, this is a terrible time."

"Well, I certainly couldn't have gotten pregnant without your help, Severus," Sirius says. Of course, they'd talked about it but it had been almost a month since they talked about it and Sirius never said he was actively trying to conceive, more like he was trying to see how Snape would feel if he'd actually manage to get pregnant. Snape had said they could discuss it further but hinted heavily that he would be okay with whatever Sirius wanted to do. After all, they'd already raised one child, and what was one more nose to wipe during flu season.

Snape groans, "You said we should go to Hogwarts, and you knew you were pregnant," he says thinking he might have told the Headmaster no if he'd known Sirius had been trying to conceive.

"Because we should," Sirius says, "Harry needs us there, you said it yourself."

"The circumstances are different now," Snape says.

"No, they're not," Sirius insists, "And I'm not having this one until the end of the school year anyway, it'll be fine," he mutters.

Snape sighs softly, "How long have you known?" he asks.

"I've known since Friday," Sirius admits.

"Why didn't you say something before?" Snape asks.

Sirius sighs, "I was scared to mention it, it's been a hell of a process, years in the making," he mumbles, "I was afraid if I said something, it might just disappear," he says quietly.

"Oh, Sirius," Snape says softly, looking back at his husband.

"The healer says everything looks perfect," Sirius says, "Said there shouldn't be any reason for concern, I'm just a bit paranoid I suppose," he admits.

Snape sighs, "I really think we need to reconsider this," he says, "I don't want you too far from home, should something happen."

"Well that's just not going to happen," Sirius says next, pushing the hair out of his face, "I want to be with you, I don't want to be here in London while you're at Hogwarts with Harry."

"And what about when you need to see a healer?" Snape asks looking at Sirius, "You're going to be so far away, instead of staying close to home."

"Severus," Sirius says, "It's been years, ten years since I've had to even think about being away from you for longer than a single day, let alone overnight," he says, "You're really going to let your pregnant husband stay miles away for an entire year?"

Snape looks at Sirius, "If something happens to you-"

"I'd want you by my side," Sirius says firmly.

"Yes," Snape agrees, "I'd want to be there too, which is why I think we should reconsider this."

"You're not getting me to change my mind, Severus," Sirius says firmly, "I am going with you, and you are going to Hogwarts, for our son."

Snape is quiet for several minutes looking up at the ceiling before he turns back to Sirius, "Sirius, that's not just your child you're carrying, it's mine too," he says quietly.

"I know," he says softly, "I know, Severus, I just don't want to do any of this without you," Sirius whispers turning to face Snape, "But if you really think I shouldn't come with you and should stay in London," Sirius sighs, "Then I won't fight you on it, because I know you just want what's best for me, and our family."

Snape turns away from Sirius looking up again, "How did this even happen?" he sighs softly, "You're pregnant Sirius."

"Well, the Healer says it's only a few weeks," Sirius murmurs, "So, it was probably that time when I decided to join you in the shower after we put Harry to bed or that time I came by your office during lunch and you had me against the bookshelf, definitely ruined that copy of-"

"Dear Salazar," Snape hisses, "You know that's not what I meant," he insists willing himself not to flush at Sirius's detailed descriptions of their past sexual endeavors.

Sirius did know that's not what Snape meant, but he couldn't help himself, he liked seeing Snape get all flustered, "It wasn't easy," he says with a small smile, "I wasn't sure it was going to work, that's why I kept initiating it so often, the Healer was confident though after they took my blood a hundred times," he mutters and shudders, "Saw an Alchemist, and I left with this weird grey potion and a strange-looking yellow one, took the grey one for a week, then I took the yellow one while I tried with you the next week, then found out Friday morning."

Snape thinks he should have figured something was going on that week, but he was stressed from work and actually enjoyed the distraction that Sirius had been providing him minus his ruined textbooks, of course, "You could have told me you were trying to conceive, Sirius," Snape says softly.

"I know I could have," Sirius says looking over at Snape, "I just don't think I could have handled the fallout if I told you got your hopes up as well, and then it didn't happen," he murmurs, "I mean, if you hadn't figured it out, I don't know how long I would have waited to tell you," he sighs.

Snape is quiet for a moment, "Come," he says softly.

Sirius smiles turning over, before pressing his back against Snape's body. Snape wraps his arms around Sirius's body, holding him close against him. Sirius closes his eyes for a moment, before gently guiding Snape's hand to his belly letting his hand rest on top of Snape's, "I love you."

"I love you too."

September 1, 1991

“I’d like to welcome our new staff this year,” Professor Dumbledore says to the crowd of young children, “Following Professor Slughorn’s retirement, we would like to welcome Professor Severus Snape, as our new Potions Master and head of Slytherin house.”

After the welcome feast, Snape makes his way downstairs to the dungeons, passing students in the halls as he makes his way to his new living quarters. There was an eating area with a small kitchen, a bedroom, a small sitting area, and a bathroom with a large bathtub and shower.

Sighing softly, Snape hangs his cloak in the wardrobe and sits down on the edge of the bed, looking around beginning to wonder if he had actually made the right decision coming back here after all of these years.

Just over an hour later, Sirius walks into the room shutting the door behind him.

“Hey,” Sirius smiles walking over to Snape.

“Hi,” Snape says looking up at Sirius.

“Did you go see your students?” Sirius asks curiously.

Snape shrugs, “I just looked in for a minute,” he says, “They’re fine."

Sirius sits down on the bed beside Snape, wrapping his arm around Snape’s waist, “It’s an adjustment, but you’ll do just fine,” he says.

Snape looks over at Sirius, "How are you?" he asks, "er, two?" he adds reminding himself it wasn't just Sirius and Harry he was now responsible for looking after, they indeed had a little one on the way, even though you couldn't tell by looking at Sirius.

Sirius smiles, "Good," he says, "Still a bit early to tell, but I think it'll be a boy."

Snape looks back at Sirius curiously, wondering how he didn't already know, "It's a girl," he says confidently.

Sirius frowns, "How could you possibly know that?" he asks.

"It's a girl," Snape says again, with just as much confidence as before, "You can't sense it?" he asks.

Sirius shrugs, "I don't know," he murmurs, "Really?" Sirius asks he was surprised by this.

Severus nods and pulls away from Sirius starting to feel like he was suffocating.

“You alright?” Sirius asks looking over at Snape.

Snape nods, “Overwhelmed,” he says honestly, “It’s a lot to take in."

Sirius nods, “Can I help?” he asks.

Snape shakes his head, “I think I’ll just shower, and go to bed, actually,” he says.

Sirius leans over, kissing Snape’s cheek, “Let me run you a warm bath.”

Snape grimaces and pulls away, “No, I just want to shower and get in bed,” he murmurs getting up from the bed, walking into the bathroom.

Sirius sighs softly watching after before getting up deciding to make a cup of tea, and unpack his trunk. Sirius was unpacking his trunk when Snape came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later.

“Feel better?” Sirius asks hanging his clothes in the wardrobe.

Snape nods crawling into bed, pulling the sheets up over his body as he watches Sirius.

Sirius turns around looking at Snape, “What’s wrong Severus?” Sirius asks for the third time that evening, crawling onto the bed beside Snape.

Snape pulls his knees up to his chest looking over at Sirius, “I don’t have the best memories of this school,” he says finally, “I don’t want to talk about this,” Snape says firmly, “I just want to say it, and let it go.”

Sirius swallows thickly and nods, waiting for Snape to say what he needed to say.

“This was supposed to be the one place I could feel safe the one place I belonged because I didn’t belong at home, my father hated that my mother and I could do magic he didn’t like it around the house, and we were poor my father made enough money for us to live in our house and not much else,” Snape continues, “None of the other kids in the village wanted to be my friend, and then I met Lily and she was my only friend, and we came to school together and grew apart, my only friend,” he sighs, “From the moment I got here I was a target of bullying, and not just from you and James,” Snape says, “Being here was better than being at home, because at least here I could express who I really was but I was teased for being too skinny, too tall, having hair that was too long, having clothes that didn’t fit, it became clear very quickly that I didn’t belong here either and I didn’t know where I belonged,” Snape sighs, “At least at school I could do magic, and I could read all the books I never had at home and it made it better to be here, when I was learning how to do magic, all kinds of magic. I got older but the teasing didn’t stop” he mutters, “The teasing got worse, the abuse got worse and I went to the only place I knew was safe,” Snape says, “I went deeper into my own mind, I wasn’t going to be hurt there, in my mind I knew I was safe and I learned everything I could about defensive magic until I knew everything in all the books, so I learned about offensive magic and there was so much to read, more than I could get through and it lead me to the dark magic, and I just kept reading and reading because, inside the pages of the books, I was safe, the moment I left the books, I was teased for reading, I was bullied for being _evil_ I was tortured for the way I looked and learning every bit of magic I could was the only way I’d ever be safe. It turned into more than I ever imagined,” Snape sighs, “I lost my best friend, my only friend, she never understood what this was like for me, and being back here in the castle is bringing up a lot of memories and I don’t want to feel like I felt the last time I was here.”

Sirius looks over at Snape, he wants to comfort him but he knows how much he was part of that pain that he was currently feeling, and Sirius doesn’t know what to say or do right now.

“Severus,” Sirius says quietly.

Snape sighs, “I don’t want to talk about this Sirius,” he says, “I want to let it go, just please.”

Sirius sighs, “This castle is going to hold memories for us for the rest of our lives,” he says softly, “Some of my worst memories are in this castle,” he says, “The same memories that haunt you, but also some of my best memories are here,” he says softly.

“The difference is, I don’t have any good memories of this castle,” Snape says looking at Sirius.

“Not yet,” Sirius says looking over at Snape, “But you will,” he insists, “We’re going to have good memories here together,” he says, “My last memory of this castle isn’t exactly one I particularly favor, and we’ll have years of new memories in this castle,” Sirius says, “Memories we make together, and some memories we make with Harry, and I know you’d never admit it, but I know you enjoy the time we spend together,” he says looking at Snape, “We have at least seven more years of memories to make in this castle.”

Snape sighs looking over at Sirius, “Can seven years of good memories make up for the seven years of bad ones?”

Sirius looks over at Snape, “I’ve had at least seven decent ones being married to you so far, and I’ve even had some good memories with you,” he says, “I’d like to think that with the seven years of new memories we’ll have, it can at least start to make up for it.

Snape looks at Sirius, he hasn’t completely hated being married to Sirius, he certainly spent the first few years of their marriage hating him, and at each other’s throats, but the years immediately following the end of the war weren’t some of the worst, “Let’s go to bed,” Snape says softly.

"Don't you want to fight me over baby names?" Sirius teases.

Snape cracks a smile, "No, Sirius," he says softly, "I was sure you'd already chosen a name."

"Well that was when I thought it was going to be a boy," Sirius says, "I hadn't thought of any girls names," he says wrapping his arms around Snape's torso.

Snape wraps his arms around Sirius, looking back at him.

"You're really sure it's a girl?" Sirius asks.

"I'd be very surprised if it was a boy," Snape says next.

"What should we call her?" Sirius asks.

Snape sigh softly, and is quiet for several minutes before he answers, "Kalypso," he says softly.

"The last thing I expected you to say was anything star related," Sirius laughs lightly.

"It's Greek," Snape says next.

"For moon," Sirius laughs.

Snape laughs lightly looking back at Sirius, "I didn't pick the name," he says softly, looking at Sirius, "I think she did," he says.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asks.

Snape wasn't sure how to explain it, "I don't know," he admits, "It just came to me somehow."

"Kali has a nice ring to it," Sirius teases.

Snape sighs softly but smiles back at his husband.

Sirius smiles up at Snape, "I love you."

"I love you too," Snape says looking down at Sirius, gently running his fingers through the other man's long mane of dark hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're finally here, and I don't even know how to thank you all. Those of you who have been here since the beginning, know it's been one hell of a ride, but we made it to the end. I just want to say thank you all so much!!! I am so appreciative of all of you who have taken the time every week to read this, those of you who have interacted with me, by leaving kudos and leaving comments. I can't thank you all enough!!! I truly hope that this story has lived up to your expectations and that all of the questions you had from the beginning have been answered in some form. Those of you who like to interact in the comments with me, know that I don't mind answering questions there at all, so if you still have questions about the story, please feel free to comment and ask about something that you didn't get answered. Those of you who have just stumbled upon this, or have been reading quietly without speaking up, are just as valid, and I appreciate your time just as much! I truly appreciate each and every one of my readers!!! And I'm so glad that this story has been something that you were able to enjoy! Writing this story has awoken a love for this pairing that I didn't know I had so definitely expect more from me regarding this pairing in the future. Those of you who know me, know that the Marauder's era is a very special place for me, so there will be more of this pairing specifically in this era, not necessarily in this universe (Though that doesn't mean I might not revisit this universe), but definitely more of this pairing. I am so thankful to each and every one of you who have read this through to the end, It was a bumpy ride for a while there, but I personally think it paid off, to get to where we end this story now. Thank you again to each and every one of you who has left kudos on this work, who has taken the time out of their day to write me a comment, I read each and every comment on each and every one of my fics, and I do my best to reply promptly to each of you. I am so thankful to each of you and want each of you to know that as a writer, and as a fanfic reader, I appreciate you and your time to this fic. There is not enough love that I can express to you right now. Again, thank you all so much! I hope to see you again in a future fic! Thank you all so much! ♥ ♥ ♥


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